something like that.
The other day I mentioned that I had started watching a documentary and couldn't finish watching it. Well, the documentary that I watched was called The Business of Being Born. I was interested in watching this because one of my favorite bloggers RAVED over the book and movie and how it changed her life.
It's about childbirth, midwives, doulas, natural vs drugs, home deliveries, OB's, and c-sections. Only it was all very one sided.
The movie focused on how OB's are surgeons and are more interested in cutting and efficiency than the normal process of labor. They gave examples of how if a woman is not progressing at a certain rate then she is given pictocen. Then because the pictocen is not natural and causes significant pain this encourages the mother to get an epidural. The epidural can then sometimes stall labor which leads to low heart rates for the baby which of course ends right where the OB wants it to...in the operating room.
While science paints a very different picture I would like, for the moment, to put that part aside. What I want to talk about is risks. I will grant that complications of pregnancy are low. Most births are very routine and show no signs of complications. HOWEVER there are still risks. With a husband that is an OB I hear about the risks. Hell, with Palmer we were at risk.
To me it is just comforting to know that the heart monitor is hooked up and if at any moment something goes wrong we can have the baby out in minutes. If you were delivering at home or at a birthing center then your odds are more like 15 minutes at best. A lot can happen in 15 minutes.
Don't get me wrong I have a lot of respect for midwives. I actually see two midwives who are the partners of my OB. Midwives are VERY popular here in PA which is very different then what we were used to in KS. I just think that home deliveries and birthing centers add risk that I am unwilling to assume.
So the newest uproar took place in New Jersey. A woman with mental health issues refused a c-section that was deemed necessary. The baby was born medically OK but was then taken away from the mom and given over to social services. My understanding was that the refusal for a c-section was not the determining factor but was taken into consideration. The arguments on both sides are very heated. If there is anything that I have learned from Bret is that you don't know what happened just from someone else telling you are reading about it. I know that doctors do not suggest c-sections without weighing all of the risks carefully. I know that a lot of natural childbirth advocates are feeling as if this is verification that doctors are taking away their rights as pregnant women. I feel that the article is very one sided and does not present the facts accurately. I encourage you to read the article. I am having a hard time finding the actual court ruling because most of the links to it are not working. If I find it I will update. I am interested in knowing what you think...even we don't agree :)
7.31.2009
7.30.2009
Left Behind
Tomorrow Bret is picking up the kids from daycare and the three of them are heading to KS....without me. This morning I for the first few minutes before I was really awake thought that today was Friday. I then thought about this weekend. I have nothing to do.
For years now my weekends have revolved around Bret and the kids. Who am I kidding..my whole life revolved around them. That's not say that I didn't have things to do too. I did but part of my plans always included what I was going to do with them during that time.
I hate not going with them...I HATE not going. I don't know when I will get back to KS and I am a little homesick. I am also green with envy that they are going to the church picnic and going to eat the best hamburgers on the planet. They are also planning a short trip to Bret's uncle Paul's cabin in Colorado. I have been trying to think for weeks how I could get out of work and go with them. I have thought about calling in sick, threatening to quit, you name it. However, my work ethic is stronger than that and I need my job (at least until this baby comes).
So instead I try and think of things to keep me busy. I try to look at the bright side of things and honestly if I can make it past this weekend I will be fine. Work really tires me out so I don't worry that the week will go fast. It's just Saturday and Sunday that are looming. The couple that we are closest too is going to be out of town for the whole week as well. I don't know what I am going to do with myself.
I called my only single friend and she has all sort of ideas (shopping, dinner, movies, etc) and that will keep me busy. I also have a ton of baby blankets to get caught up on. I have also been contemplating looking into paint and carpet but just looking into at this point. I am sure the time will pass quickly and I will miss them terribly. It will be good to miss them...I think.
For years now my weekends have revolved around Bret and the kids. Who am I kidding..my whole life revolved around them. That's not say that I didn't have things to do too. I did but part of my plans always included what I was going to do with them during that time.
I hate not going with them...I HATE not going. I don't know when I will get back to KS and I am a little homesick. I am also green with envy that they are going to the church picnic and going to eat the best hamburgers on the planet. They are also planning a short trip to Bret's uncle Paul's cabin in Colorado. I have been trying to think for weeks how I could get out of work and go with them. I have thought about calling in sick, threatening to quit, you name it. However, my work ethic is stronger than that and I need my job (at least until this baby comes).
So instead I try and think of things to keep me busy. I try to look at the bright side of things and honestly if I can make it past this weekend I will be fine. Work really tires me out so I don't worry that the week will go fast. It's just Saturday and Sunday that are looming. The couple that we are closest too is going to be out of town for the whole week as well. I don't know what I am going to do with myself.
I called my only single friend and she has all sort of ideas (shopping, dinner, movies, etc) and that will keep me busy. I also have a ton of baby blankets to get caught up on. I have also been contemplating looking into paint and carpet but just looking into at this point. I am sure the time will pass quickly and I will miss them terribly. It will be good to miss them...I think.
7.29.2009
Spreadin the Word
A recent graduate from the residency was in town last night so a group from the hospital all met for dinner. Only a couple other residents and spouses came but several of the nurses and other staff from the hospital came.
I love going to dinner with the nurses. They are such a lively group and it is really interesting for me to see my husband from their point of view. Residents and nurses have such a unique dynamic. The residents are not really their boss (unlike the attendings) yet they are the authority when it comes right down to it. Even so the residents learn a lot from the nurses. Gaining their trust and respect is important but so is making sure that your instructions are followed and listened to. Like I said it is a very unique dynamic.
When your husband works 80 or more hours a week it is a given that these women spend just as much time with him as you do. When I worked at the hospital in HR it always amazed me to hear what they thought about him. Some of them were intimidated by him, others thought he was cocky, while others just loved him (sometimes it all depended on the day).
Last night I found out that Bret had not really "told" anyone that I was pregnant. I am friends with several of the nurses on facebook but haven't really put anything on facebook that was obvious. Some how one of the residents mentioned it and word spread quickly. Once the word hit the clinic several of the nurses were waiting for him outside of the exam room ready to pounce him with questions. Of course once the nurses found out EVERYONE in the hospital found out too. Bret said it was weird to have attendings come up out of no where to congratulate him.
It wasn't like we were keeping this on the down low (obviously..lol) but neither of us felt the need to make a big announcement. Not that we aren't excited..it's just that with our third it's different. We are having this baby for us. We are excited and for us that is enough. It's awkward to bring up the topic. People wonder but don't ask. We think "I wonder if they know" but don't want to just bring it up out of no where because if they do already know it's weird to be telling them again. I digress.
Dinners like last night is good. You get to hear what they thought about last years chief's, this year's chiefs, the interns, the attendings, and of course your spouse. They all know me and my kids. Not only are we regular visitors at the hospital but I send them things to. They know my Christmas candy packages, cookies, and other treats that I send to the floor regularly. The "floor" consists of two different areas. There is the resident clinic and the labor/delivery floor. The clinic has WAY fewer nurses so we know all of them much better. Bret's assigned nurse, Amber, is a saint. The L&D floor has so many nurses it is hard to keep them all straight but there are a few that I have gotten to know. There are a few that I pray will be on when I go into labor and a few that I pray will be no where near the hospital but that is how it usually goes.
I love going to dinner with the nurses. They are such a lively group and it is really interesting for me to see my husband from their point of view. Residents and nurses have such a unique dynamic. The residents are not really their boss (unlike the attendings) yet they are the authority when it comes right down to it. Even so the residents learn a lot from the nurses. Gaining their trust and respect is important but so is making sure that your instructions are followed and listened to. Like I said it is a very unique dynamic.
When your husband works 80 or more hours a week it is a given that these women spend just as much time with him as you do. When I worked at the hospital in HR it always amazed me to hear what they thought about him. Some of them were intimidated by him, others thought he was cocky, while others just loved him (sometimes it all depended on the day).
Last night I found out that Bret had not really "told" anyone that I was pregnant. I am friends with several of the nurses on facebook but haven't really put anything on facebook that was obvious. Some how one of the residents mentioned it and word spread quickly. Once the word hit the clinic several of the nurses were waiting for him outside of the exam room ready to pounce him with questions. Of course once the nurses found out EVERYONE in the hospital found out too. Bret said it was weird to have attendings come up out of no where to congratulate him.
It wasn't like we were keeping this on the down low (obviously..lol) but neither of us felt the need to make a big announcement. Not that we aren't excited..it's just that with our third it's different. We are having this baby for us. We are excited and for us that is enough. It's awkward to bring up the topic. People wonder but don't ask. We think "I wonder if they know" but don't want to just bring it up out of no where because if they do already know it's weird to be telling them again. I digress.
Dinners like last night is good. You get to hear what they thought about last years chief's, this year's chiefs, the interns, the attendings, and of course your spouse. They all know me and my kids. Not only are we regular visitors at the hospital but I send them things to. They know my Christmas candy packages, cookies, and other treats that I send to the floor regularly. The "floor" consists of two different areas. There is the resident clinic and the labor/delivery floor. The clinic has WAY fewer nurses so we know all of them much better. Bret's assigned nurse, Amber, is a saint. The L&D floor has so many nurses it is hard to keep them all straight but there are a few that I have gotten to know. There are a few that I pray will be on when I go into labor and a few that I pray will be no where near the hospital but that is how it usually goes.
7.28.2009
Trying it out.
You guys were so helpful in deciding which swimsuit to buy I thought I would try you out again. BTW I bought one at Target that they didn't have a picture of online but it was very similar to the ones you guys liked the most.
One of the many conversations that Bret and I have been having lately (others being whether or not we are going to try and have a VBAC, pain medication, names, etc, etc) is whether or not we want to find out the sex of the baby.
People who know me in real life are shocked to find out that I am actually contemplating this idea. I am not good with waiting for surprises. You are talking about a girl who got to open presents on Christmas eve and sometimes birthday presents before it was even my birthday. The thing is my biggest reason for finding out both times before was so that I could be prepared and to make it seem more real. We have both a boy and a girl and really don't need much stuff at all. We need a carseat and some bedding stuff. Of course I plan to buy a couple of new outfits but otherwise we are pretty much set. As for the real part it's different the third time around.
My only hesitation is that my husband is an OB. He reads sonograms a million times a day. He is the type of guy that IF I said I didn't want to know he wouldn't tell me. Even if I changed my mind later. IT. WOULD. KILL. ME. if he knew and I didn't. So after discussing it at lengths he suggested three things 1) he could just skip the 20 week sonogram. I know this sounds awful at first but we have had two other sonograms and it's not as "new and exciting" for him and I can take Emily with me instead. 2) If it is obvious he would just tell me. We would try to avoid it but if by chance he saw he would just tell me. I am leaning towards this idea although I still think it would be fun to wait. or 3) We would just be very clear with my OB that he needed to be very careful and give both of us plenty of warning before going into this region so we (Bret) can turn our heads.
I am trying to stay very open minded and flexible with this pregnancy. So for now the plan is to keep it a surprise for everyone. My sonogram is in two weeks and who know in the moment I may change my mind.
One of the many conversations that Bret and I have been having lately (others being whether or not we are going to try and have a VBAC, pain medication, names, etc, etc) is whether or not we want to find out the sex of the baby.
People who know me in real life are shocked to find out that I am actually contemplating this idea. I am not good with waiting for surprises. You are talking about a girl who got to open presents on Christmas eve and sometimes birthday presents before it was even my birthday. The thing is my biggest reason for finding out both times before was so that I could be prepared and to make it seem more real. We have both a boy and a girl and really don't need much stuff at all. We need a carseat and some bedding stuff. Of course I plan to buy a couple of new outfits but otherwise we are pretty much set. As for the real part it's different the third time around.
My only hesitation is that my husband is an OB. He reads sonograms a million times a day. He is the type of guy that IF I said I didn't want to know he wouldn't tell me. Even if I changed my mind later. IT. WOULD. KILL. ME. if he knew and I didn't. So after discussing it at lengths he suggested three things 1) he could just skip the 20 week sonogram. I know this sounds awful at first but we have had two other sonograms and it's not as "new and exciting" for him and I can take Emily with me instead. 2) If it is obvious he would just tell me. We would try to avoid it but if by chance he saw he would just tell me. I am leaning towards this idea although I still think it would be fun to wait. or 3) We would just be very clear with my OB that he needed to be very careful and give both of us plenty of warning before going into this region so we (Bret) can turn our heads.
I am trying to stay very open minded and flexible with this pregnancy. So for now the plan is to keep it a surprise for everyone. My sonogram is in two weeks and who know in the moment I may change my mind.
7.27.2009
Recovery
If I never see another cupcake again it may be too soon.
All in all the party went off without a hitch. We had several no shows but all in all we had 11 kids and several adults. The weather was perfect, the activities were a hit, and clean up wasn't that bad. I swore to myself that I was going to do the preparty pictures that you always see on the idea blogs but that just didn't happen. I wish I had more pictures to show of some of the little touches I added like the cake pops from bakerella (which were not as easy as they looked but very yummy and cute enough in the end), the t-shirt that I appliqued for Emily (which is now ruined by the craft paint used to decorate the aprons but was SOO cute for the day and super easy), and several other things.
It was a lot of fun and very memorable but I am glad that it is over. Guess what else is over. NIGHTS!! You cannot believe the relief that washes over me everytime I think about the fact that for the rest of the year Bret will be home in the evening during the week. This morning was a little annoying when he set the alarm for 5:30 and was up and about before six. Of course after he got out of the shower he thought I needed to also be up and around. Nothing worse than someone gently telling you "your going to be late" when in reality for over a month you haven't even cracked an eye open to hit the snooze for another 20 minutes. It was good to be up earlier as it made getting work on time/early easier. The rest of the week looks so normal that I don't even know what to do with myself.
Then there's next week. So you remember how I was complaining about Bret going to KS without me and leaving me with two kids for a week? Well, word spread that one of the Heskett's were going to be in KS and not the grandkids and we couldn't have that right? So after weeks of looking at plane tickets and shaking our heads (even after offers of money to pay for their tickets) Bret has decided to drive back to KS with the kids...by himself.
So 1) Bret is going to drive the entire way with both kids by himself
2) I am the only one not going back to KS
3) I have never been away from both of my kids for longer than a day let alone an entire week and several states in between
and 4) I am going to be here by myself for a week with no husband or kids
I am still not 100% sure how I feel about this. I have a couple of ideas of what I want to do while they are gone (and it involves paint and maybe carpet) but we shall see. I will be happy if I don't turn into a mopey blob for the whole week that they are gone and try to relish in the relaxation that I should be taking advantage of. We shall see.
All in all the party went off without a hitch. We had several no shows but all in all we had 11 kids and several adults. The weather was perfect, the activities were a hit, and clean up wasn't that bad. I swore to myself that I was going to do the preparty pictures that you always see on the idea blogs but that just didn't happen. I wish I had more pictures to show of some of the little touches I added like the cake pops from bakerella (which were not as easy as they looked but very yummy and cute enough in the end), the t-shirt that I appliqued for Emily (which is now ruined by the craft paint used to decorate the aprons but was SOO cute for the day and super easy), and several other things.
It was a lot of fun and very memorable but I am glad that it is over. Guess what else is over. NIGHTS!! You cannot believe the relief that washes over me everytime I think about the fact that for the rest of the year Bret will be home in the evening during the week. This morning was a little annoying when he set the alarm for 5:30 and was up and about before six. Of course after he got out of the shower he thought I needed to also be up and around. Nothing worse than someone gently telling you "your going to be late" when in reality for over a month you haven't even cracked an eye open to hit the snooze for another 20 minutes. It was good to be up earlier as it made getting work on time/early easier. The rest of the week looks so normal that I don't even know what to do with myself.
Then there's next week. So you remember how I was complaining about Bret going to KS without me and leaving me with two kids for a week? Well, word spread that one of the Heskett's were going to be in KS and not the grandkids and we couldn't have that right? So after weeks of looking at plane tickets and shaking our heads (even after offers of money to pay for their tickets) Bret has decided to drive back to KS with the kids...by himself.
So 1) Bret is going to drive the entire way with both kids by himself
2) I am the only one not going back to KS
3) I have never been away from both of my kids for longer than a day let alone an entire week and several states in between
and 4) I am going to be here by myself for a week with no husband or kids
I am still not 100% sure how I feel about this. I have a couple of ideas of what I want to do while they are gone (and it involves paint and maybe carpet) but we shall see. I will be happy if I don't turn into a mopey blob for the whole week that they are gone and try to relish in the relaxation that I should be taking advantage of. We shall see.
7.24.2009
Cupcake Mayhem
I had planned to get a little done each day this week to get ready for the birthday party. Well, that went right out the window and I am stuck with a million things to get done before tomorrow at 1:30pm.
Ok, so I don't really have a million things to do just a bunch. The first of which is to clean my house. Add to that baking cupcakes, her actual giant cupcake, coloring frosting, making a pin the cherry on the cupcake game (cause I couldn't find one at the party stores and I didn't have time to order one either), stuffing the pinata, and praying for no rain tomorrow (Tuesday it said 40% chance of rain but today it is less than 10%).
I did not sleep well at all last night. I felt like I was awake every hour and never really got into that deep sleep. This is going to kick me in the ass today about oh...4:00 or so. I have no choice but to bust my butt and get things done and I tend to work well under those circumstances.
The good news is that nights is officially OVER. Can I get a WHOO HOO! It has been the roughest 5 week rotation we have had in a LONG time. Bret has a tee time set for this afternoon but has sworn that he plans to help do everything on his list. It may be an early morning cause I am guessing that he is going to be dying to sleep by the time he gets home.
The kids are super excited and at the moment I am expecting about 18 kids (although some of them are just friends with small babies). It should be crazy. I bet you can't wait for pictures.
Bret and I were talking the other day and decided that we do way more for Emily's birthdays than we have been for Palmer. My excuses is that since his birthday closely follows Christmas we are usually tapped for money, most people are busy, it's winter which means it's indoors, and he has only had 2 parties so far. Realizing that I am going to be having a baby around a month before his birthday we decided to be proactive. Our cash flow is up right now b/c Bret got paid out for some unused vacation time and we want to try and plan ahead. So we did the unthinkable (at least in my world). We booked and paid for a party at the Jump Factory for the Saturday after his birthday. This is a very popular birthday spot and it's kind of expensive (at least in my opinion). I know at that point we will be very grateful to not be planning a big party at our house and that Palmer and all of his little friends will love it. I also love the out of sight out of mind mato. It's paid for and done. All we need to do is provide 2 table clothes, balloons, favor bags, and cupcakes/cake. They do everything else. On the day before Emily's big party this is sounding pretty good and I know that a mere few weeks after giving birth it is going to sound even better.
Ok, so I don't really have a million things to do just a bunch. The first of which is to clean my house. Add to that baking cupcakes, her actual giant cupcake, coloring frosting, making a pin the cherry on the cupcake game (cause I couldn't find one at the party stores and I didn't have time to order one either), stuffing the pinata, and praying for no rain tomorrow (Tuesday it said 40% chance of rain but today it is less than 10%).
I did not sleep well at all last night. I felt like I was awake every hour and never really got into that deep sleep. This is going to kick me in the ass today about oh...4:00 or so. I have no choice but to bust my butt and get things done and I tend to work well under those circumstances.
The good news is that nights is officially OVER. Can I get a WHOO HOO! It has been the roughest 5 week rotation we have had in a LONG time. Bret has a tee time set for this afternoon but has sworn that he plans to help do everything on his list. It may be an early morning cause I am guessing that he is going to be dying to sleep by the time he gets home.
The kids are super excited and at the moment I am expecting about 18 kids (although some of them are just friends with small babies). It should be crazy. I bet you can't wait for pictures.
Bret and I were talking the other day and decided that we do way more for Emily's birthdays than we have been for Palmer. My excuses is that since his birthday closely follows Christmas we are usually tapped for money, most people are busy, it's winter which means it's indoors, and he has only had 2 parties so far. Realizing that I am going to be having a baby around a month before his birthday we decided to be proactive. Our cash flow is up right now b/c Bret got paid out for some unused vacation time and we want to try and plan ahead. So we did the unthinkable (at least in my world). We booked and paid for a party at the Jump Factory for the Saturday after his birthday. This is a very popular birthday spot and it's kind of expensive (at least in my opinion). I know at that point we will be very grateful to not be planning a big party at our house and that Palmer and all of his little friends will love it. I also love the out of sight out of mind mato. It's paid for and done. All we need to do is provide 2 table clothes, balloons, favor bags, and cupcakes/cake. They do everything else. On the day before Emily's big party this is sounding pretty good and I know that a mere few weeks after giving birth it is going to sound even better.
7.23.2009
Feelin' Cupcakey
What do you think of the new layout and background? I figure since all I have been thinking about lately is cupcakes and this upcoming party my blog should reflect it.
Best 5th Birthday Ever Check List
- Wake up and realize I AM 5 TODAY- CHECK
- Have happy birthday sang 41897845 times- CHECK
- Wear the perfect party dress to school with my fancy shoes- CHECK
- Have the entire swimming lessons group sing happy birthday- CHECK
- School's air conditioner is out b/c it is my bday which is great cause I am always freezing(or b/c it is being replaced)- CHECK
- Popsicles for my birthday treats- CHECK
- Presents in the mail from grandma and my aunt- CHECK
- Presents from mom, dad, and brother- CHECK
- Dinner at Chuckie Cheese- CHECK
- Mani & Pedi with just me and mom- CHECK AND CHECK
- Knowing that my cupcake birthday is only a few days away- CHECK
- Go to sleep with the biggest grin on my face singing myself happy birthday- CHECK
7.22.2009
Emily Grace Heskett
Happy 5th Birthday!
It brings tears of joy to my eyes just typing that. I can't believe you are five already. It seems like just yesterday your dad and I's lives were changed forever. There are no words to describe how different our lives became the moment you were born.
Until we found out that we were pregnant with you daddy and I thought we had our whole lives planned out and of course that everything would go exactly by our plan. Boy did that change and we wouldn't have it any other way. My pregnancy with you was a whirlwind of fear, excitement, terror, joy, and nausea.
Lucky for us you were a great baby and always had a smile on your face. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that complete strangers would go out of their way in a parking lot or store to tell me how beautiful of a baby you were and how adorable of a little girl you are now. Daddy and I have always known that you were beautiful and that your precious blue eyes will break many hearts and find true love someday (hopefully not any time soon).
You are so much more than beauty. People can't help but smile when they are around you and you are someone that everyone wants to be around. Your ability to sing and dance songs of your own making is fantastic. You are thoughtful and caring and have a deep sense of compassion that makes us so proud to be your parents.
Your excitement for this new baby has made us all even more excited. Your love for your brother and this new baby you haven't even met yet makes me love you even more. Even if I have five more boys (please no) I at least have you and you are enough girl to take them all on.
I love that you have so much of BOTH me and your dad that you can't tell where one begins and the other ends. You are such a one of a kind kid that I feel blessed everyday that I get to be your mom.
You amaze me every day in the way you over come your fears. Something may intimidate you but you never let it stop you. We are so proud of the little person you are becoming and are excited to see what adventures lie in your future.
7.21.2009
Let the Count Down Begin
3 more nights. 3.MORE.NIGHTS!!!
I'm a little excited...can you tell? This is the last week of nights for Bret...forever. It has been rough but with the light at the end of the tunnel blaring in our eyes we are ending on a great note.
Tomorrow is Emily's 5th birthday. Bret has to work in the evening so I am heading out an hour or so early so that we can make it home, have dinner, and still have time for her to open her presents. She is excited.
My list of things to do before the party on Saturday does not feel like it is getting any shorter. Bret being on nights is not helping..at all. I think the hardest part is just not having the time to run to the store for the last minute things I still need. I am not stressed though (yet) as I still have plenty of time. Not too much else new going on. We had a fabulous weekend of birthday parties and pool parties.
I have decided that we need a new bed and Bret readily agrees. Neither of us are getting a good night's sleep and we have had just about enough of that. There is nothing worse than not being able to sleep soundly and waking up so sore the next morning. I almost think we would be better off sleeping on the floor.
I'm a little excited...can you tell? This is the last week of nights for Bret...forever. It has been rough but with the light at the end of the tunnel blaring in our eyes we are ending on a great note.
Tomorrow is Emily's 5th birthday. Bret has to work in the evening so I am heading out an hour or so early so that we can make it home, have dinner, and still have time for her to open her presents. She is excited.
My list of things to do before the party on Saturday does not feel like it is getting any shorter. Bret being on nights is not helping..at all. I think the hardest part is just not having the time to run to the store for the last minute things I still need. I am not stressed though (yet) as I still have plenty of time. Not too much else new going on. We had a fabulous weekend of birthday parties and pool parties.
I have decided that we need a new bed and Bret readily agrees. Neither of us are getting a good night's sleep and we have had just about enough of that. There is nothing worse than not being able to sleep soundly and waking up so sore the next morning. I almost think we would be better off sleeping on the floor.
7.20.2009
She will blame her mother
Issue #259 to work through with her therapist.
Her mother made her wear her brother's underwear (yes they were clean) after swimming lessons because we forgot hers.
Her mother made her wear her brother's underwear (yes they were clean) after swimming lessons because we forgot hers.
7.16.2009
Pity Party Over
So after yesterday's little pitty party (thanks for all the well wishes) last night I decided to just start doing something. I ordered Chinese food (one task at a time lol) and got started on the mountain of laundry. I had told myself that last night I was just going to try and get two loads of laundry done and the dishes. It felt so good to start getting things done that before I knew it I had cleaned THE ENTIRE house and done 5 loads of laundry. I still need to put all that laundry away (it is folded, sorted, and sitting on my living room couch), clean my bedroom, changes/wash the the bedding, and scrub the kitchen floor. But hey, I would not die of embarrassment if someone happened to stop by and had to see my disaster of an apartment any longer. For all intent purposes I am caught up and I can't begin to tell you how good it feels. I started to watch a documentary from Netflix and made it about 30 minutes into it before I had to turn it off cause it was taking away from my peace it was so not what I thought it was going to be. I will post about this some other time as it will be interesting to see what you all thing.
Instead I called it a night and slept better than I have in weeks. I think the combination of getting my stress out in words and having a couple of uninterrupted nights of sleep in a row was just what I needed. Bret called this morning when he got off work and even though he had a rough night he was in a good mood too. He even promised to run the cable equipment back for me this afternoon when he gets up and start dinner. Tonight is that last night until after the weekend and then we just have one more week. Whew!
Instead I called it a night and slept better than I have in weeks. I think the combination of getting my stress out in words and having a couple of uninterrupted nights of sleep in a row was just what I needed. Bret called this morning when he got off work and even though he had a rough night he was in a good mood too. He even promised to run the cable equipment back for me this afternoon when he gets up and start dinner. Tonight is that last night until after the weekend and then we just have one more week. Whew!
7.15.2009
Oh, boy already
We sent out invitations for Emily's birthday party recently. Trying to find a way to save time and money I ended up having them printed as photo cards from Walmart. They ended up costing less than $.30 each and I used one of her pictures that we had taken recently (shh don't tell anyone).
I got an email from one of the kid's mom that I know. Besides RSVPing she told me the most adorable story. She said that her son took Emily's picture and hung it on the bulletin board by his bed in his room. When she was tucking him in that night he was looking at the picture and said "Mommy, Emily is sure a cute girl".
I got an email from one of the kid's mom that I know. Besides RSVPing she told me the most adorable story. She said that her son took Emily's picture and hung it on the bulletin board by his bed in his room. When she was tucking him in that night he was looking at the picture and said "Mommy, Emily is sure a cute girl".
Cloudy Days
I don't know if you noticed but things haven't been really cheery on my blog lately. Sorry about that. It's kind of how I have been feeling lately too. So I have decided that today I am going to rant about a few things going on and tomorrow we return to more fun topics like Emily's big birthday party that is coming up.
We are on our fourth out of five weeks of nights and it has definitely taken it's toll on all of us. Exhaustion is not nearly strong enough of a word to describe how I am feeling. I am mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. Laundry has piled up beyond measure and the house is impossible to even walk through. Emily has been having stomach issues the past few days only at night which is OK except that neither of us are getting much sleep. Palmer continues to struggle through his potty training. Bret is living on a different planet.
Between worrying about the boat and the physical exhaustion his "help" around the house has been less than minimal...it has been non existent. Nights always starts out OK. He is not as tired so he goes to bed later or wakes up earlier. He is less grumpy and I am not overwhelmed..yet. Then as time progresses he gets more tired, more short tempered, and I get more over whelmed. It takes us to a place in our marriage that I like to call the carousel of doom.
Me: "I need you to help around the house more. Maybe run some errands after you get off work or start dinner when you get up." Although I don't waste my breath much anymore with pleas I would desperately like it for him to do the dishes once in a while, take out the trash, or God forbid run the vacuum.
Bret: "I work 14 hours a day and have been up all night. I am exhausted."
Then it turns ugly with the whole "you only work 8 hours a day and at a desk". "If only my day started at eight and actually ended at 5..yeah right". The arguments never change and we go around in circles until we are hurt and more angry. So since this is my third year of this fight I have just given up. The list of things to do at home eats at me until I cry but I don't want to fight. I bite my tongue, we eat out more often, I ignore the dishes, the crap all over the floor, the stench of our bunny's cage, I dig to find something for the kids and I to wear, and I stop and get groceries on my way home from work. Above all I ignore the tension that sits between Bret and I. It will get better...I know that.
On top of it all Bret is planning to go back to KS for 10 days without us. I can't get off work, he can't drive by himself, and we can't afford the plane tickets for the kids. It only works out for him to go because there is a conference in KS that he can tag on to the end of his trip. At first I tried really hard to not be resentful that he is leaving me by myself with the kids for 10 days coming off of nights and spending the only two weekends off without us. Yeah you can tell how well that is working for me. So I have been petty about it refusing to help him book his plane ticket and bitching about the cost of the rental car. I don't want him to go, he knows that, and he is going anyways. It's not that I don't want him to go it's that I don't want him to go without me.
I am just tired. I want the next two weeks to be over. I want my laundry to magically be done and the house to magically be cleaned. If I was to be completely honest I want Bret to feel bad about leaving us. I want him to want to make it up to me by helping around the house and getting these things done. I want him to appreciate me in the way I want to be appreciated not in his own way. I want more energy so that when I get home from work I am not overwhelmed and can get everything that I want done..done.
I see now why blogging is therapeutic. Just writing all of this out makes me feel better.
We are on our fourth out of five weeks of nights and it has definitely taken it's toll on all of us. Exhaustion is not nearly strong enough of a word to describe how I am feeling. I am mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. Laundry has piled up beyond measure and the house is impossible to even walk through. Emily has been having stomach issues the past few days only at night which is OK except that neither of us are getting much sleep. Palmer continues to struggle through his potty training. Bret is living on a different planet.
Between worrying about the boat and the physical exhaustion his "help" around the house has been less than minimal...it has been non existent. Nights always starts out OK. He is not as tired so he goes to bed later or wakes up earlier. He is less grumpy and I am not overwhelmed..yet. Then as time progresses he gets more tired, more short tempered, and I get more over whelmed. It takes us to a place in our marriage that I like to call the carousel of doom.
Me: "I need you to help around the house more. Maybe run some errands after you get off work or start dinner when you get up." Although I don't waste my breath much anymore with pleas I would desperately like it for him to do the dishes once in a while, take out the trash, or God forbid run the vacuum.
Bret: "I work 14 hours a day and have been up all night. I am exhausted."
Then it turns ugly with the whole "you only work 8 hours a day and at a desk". "If only my day started at eight and actually ended at 5..yeah right". The arguments never change and we go around in circles until we are hurt and more angry. So since this is my third year of this fight I have just given up. The list of things to do at home eats at me until I cry but I don't want to fight. I bite my tongue, we eat out more often, I ignore the dishes, the crap all over the floor, the stench of our bunny's cage, I dig to find something for the kids and I to wear, and I stop and get groceries on my way home from work. Above all I ignore the tension that sits between Bret and I. It will get better...I know that.
On top of it all Bret is planning to go back to KS for 10 days without us. I can't get off work, he can't drive by himself, and we can't afford the plane tickets for the kids. It only works out for him to go because there is a conference in KS that he can tag on to the end of his trip. At first I tried really hard to not be resentful that he is leaving me by myself with the kids for 10 days coming off of nights and spending the only two weekends off without us. Yeah you can tell how well that is working for me. So I have been petty about it refusing to help him book his plane ticket and bitching about the cost of the rental car. I don't want him to go, he knows that, and he is going anyways. It's not that I don't want him to go it's that I don't want him to go without me.
I am just tired. I want the next two weeks to be over. I want my laundry to magically be done and the house to magically be cleaned. If I was to be completely honest I want Bret to feel bad about leaving us. I want him to want to make it up to me by helping around the house and getting these things done. I want him to appreciate me in the way I want to be appreciated not in his own way. I want more energy so that when I get home from work I am not overwhelmed and can get everything that I want done..done.
I see now why blogging is therapeutic. Just writing all of this out makes me feel better.
7.14.2009
My Zuko
This is a picture of my high school sweet heart taken about 5 years after we started dating (amazing what 5 years does...but still not too bad lol). Yep, he was a bad ass and every 16 year old girls' fantasy. He was everything a parent wouldn't want their innocent daughter dating...except that he was a really nice guy and my parents loved him.
We were complete opposites. I was a straight A student that was college bound...he got his GED and dropped out of high school at 16. He worked all the time and planned to for the rest of his life. He was adventurous and confident. I was a big chicken and super self conscious. He had dated a lot and I had not..at all. He was never a "forever" kind of guy and I liked that about him. I never had to worry about where it was going because it wasn't going anywhere. It was just fun and that was nice.
I had the biggest crush on him. He was a good friend (I hung out with a bunch of guys) of mine's buddy and fell head over heels for him. My good friend was completely against the idea and made me swear to stay away from him. He had groupies that called him and would do anything for him and he took advantage of that. He cheated on every girlfriend he ever had and really wasn't into the "girlfriend" thing anyways. The only women in his life he ever showed any respect to was his mother and his grandmother. I didn't care.
I think part of the reason I had such a huge crush on him was because he was so unobtainable. He could have any girl he wanted and in my mind that gave my chances less than zero. Except that it wasn't. We became good friends and eventually started dating. He was a complete gentleman and was a lot of fun to be around. I asked him one time why he treated me different than any other girl and he told me that he treats women the way they demand to be treated. If you demand respect you will get it..if you don't then hey.
Before I started dating him I little to no self confidence. I was a nerdy girl that was awkward in my body. I hated myself...a lot. He changed all of that. He didn't just make me feel pretty....he made me feel hot and sexy. Two adjectives that I had never applied to myself...ever. He was a good sport and took me to my school dances and would humor my friends. It was torturous I know but he cared about me so he stepped outside of his element. We dated for about two years and then I went off to college. Our parting wasn't the smoothest thing but we over looked it and stayed friends. He came and visited a couple of times and I saw him once when I went home. Over the years we lost touch (this was pre facebook, twitter, etc).
Jim died July 9, 2004. His heart stopped beating one night. Tests later confirmed that he had an enlarged heart that no one ever knew about. The heart breaking part for me was that I didn't find out until a year later. At the time Bret and I were living away from my hometown. No one knew how to reach me. It was a blessing in disguise. I was pregnant with Emily and on bedrest in the hospital for pre-eclampsia (high blood pressure). I am sure that finding out at the time would have put me and my baby at risk. I still keep in touch with his mom. Sometimes it's hard to remember that he is gone.
Sometimes when I think about who I am and how I became me it reminds me of the amazing people that touched my life...sometimes all too briefly.
7.12.2009
Doing Something When...
Nothing can be done.
My sister called me Saturday to tell me that my grandmother is not doing well. She found out yesterday even though she has been in the hospital for almost 10 days. I have spoken to my father a few times in the past few weeks and he never mentioned it at all. I called my aunt and all of us are upset that he didn't tell me or my sister. Last night I finally got a text from him saying that he was sorry he didn't tell me but that it was too hard for him to deal with right now. No surprise there.
Essentially what I have put together is that my grandmother had a recurring case of strep throat over the course of about six weeks. Antibiotics were not working. Her doctors decided to admit her to the hospital to run additional tests to find out why the infection was not reacting to any of the medications. Sometime during the first two days of her hospital stay this infection spread and has caused her to have severe dementia. In other words she is paranoid, manic, and pretty much crazy right now.
She refused to eat, drink, or take her medication because she believes people are trying to kill her. She has told stories about nurses raping her, people killing her children, and many many other things. Her anxiety has caused her blood pressure to sky rocket to stroke levels. The doctors are hopeful that IF she were to take her medication these symptoms of craziness will fade away. Hopeful is the key and so far getting her to take her medication has been almost impossible. It is heart breaking.
There is nothing that I can do but I felt like I had to do something. So I do what I do best...I put together a care package. I went and bought some individual size snacks and mini bottles of water. I wrote letters and the kids made and decorated cards. I put all of this together and added pictures and mailed it off for her. I am hopeful that because everything is sealed and because it is from us that she will begin to eat or drink again. My aunt thinks this might work. She has been drinking some Ensure because it is sealed and brought in by my aunt, so maybe this will feed into her logic. I plan to call her this evening and have been preparing myself for most of the weekend since I found out.
My grandmother is 97 years old. Although her body has begun to fail her for sometime now her mind has always been sharp as a tack. I think the hardest part for me is acceptance. I was just there visiting her six weeks ago and she was great. We had such a wonderful visit and for that I am grateful. My aunt and other family members have said that I should just hold on to that and remember her as I last saw her but that is not easy. If I was still in KS I would be at her side and it is hard to accept the distance and the limitations that come with that. Instead I pray.
She is a faithful woman, one of the most devout I know. I pray for her comfort and rest of her mind. I pray for strength for days to come. Selfishly I pray for her to heal so I can see her one last time and that she meet her newest great grandchild in just a few short months. I pray for her to have peace.
I am angry at my father for not telling me and for not being there for her. I have yet to deal with those feelings and am trying to let time cool me off. I hope that our love transcends through our care package and that the pictures and cards bring a smile to her face.
My sister called me Saturday to tell me that my grandmother is not doing well. She found out yesterday even though she has been in the hospital for almost 10 days. I have spoken to my father a few times in the past few weeks and he never mentioned it at all. I called my aunt and all of us are upset that he didn't tell me or my sister. Last night I finally got a text from him saying that he was sorry he didn't tell me but that it was too hard for him to deal with right now. No surprise there.
Essentially what I have put together is that my grandmother had a recurring case of strep throat over the course of about six weeks. Antibiotics were not working. Her doctors decided to admit her to the hospital to run additional tests to find out why the infection was not reacting to any of the medications. Sometime during the first two days of her hospital stay this infection spread and has caused her to have severe dementia. In other words she is paranoid, manic, and pretty much crazy right now.
She refused to eat, drink, or take her medication because she believes people are trying to kill her. She has told stories about nurses raping her, people killing her children, and many many other things. Her anxiety has caused her blood pressure to sky rocket to stroke levels. The doctors are hopeful that IF she were to take her medication these symptoms of craziness will fade away. Hopeful is the key and so far getting her to take her medication has been almost impossible. It is heart breaking.
There is nothing that I can do but I felt like I had to do something. So I do what I do best...I put together a care package. I went and bought some individual size snacks and mini bottles of water. I wrote letters and the kids made and decorated cards. I put all of this together and added pictures and mailed it off for her. I am hopeful that because everything is sealed and because it is from us that she will begin to eat or drink again. My aunt thinks this might work. She has been drinking some Ensure because it is sealed and brought in by my aunt, so maybe this will feed into her logic. I plan to call her this evening and have been preparing myself for most of the weekend since I found out.
My grandmother is 97 years old. Although her body has begun to fail her for sometime now her mind has always been sharp as a tack. I think the hardest part for me is acceptance. I was just there visiting her six weeks ago and she was great. We had such a wonderful visit and for that I am grateful. My aunt and other family members have said that I should just hold on to that and remember her as I last saw her but that is not easy. If I was still in KS I would be at her side and it is hard to accept the distance and the limitations that come with that. Instead I pray.
She is a faithful woman, one of the most devout I know. I pray for her comfort and rest of her mind. I pray for strength for days to come. Selfishly I pray for her to heal so I can see her one last time and that she meet her newest great grandchild in just a few short months. I pray for her to have peace.
I am angry at my father for not telling me and for not being there for her. I have yet to deal with those feelings and am trying to let time cool me off. I hope that our love transcends through our care package and that the pictures and cards bring a smile to her face.
7.10.2009
Unwritten Rules of the Blog World
So I need your advice.
Back in the middle of April I entered a contest on a blog. When the contest ended the blogger posted that I was won of two winners. I emailed the host right away with my address and contact information. Then I waited...and waited...and waited. Nothing.
After exactly a month I emailed the host a very friendly reminder asking if she ever got around to mailing the said prize. Her response was that she had totally forgot, apologizes all around, and a promise to mail it out that very weekend. That was back in May and I still haven't gotten my prize.
I know I should let it go. I don't want to be a pest and email her again...I shouldn't have to. I guess the reason it really bothers me is because it was a sponsored give away. A company gave her three free samples. One to keep and two to give away. She also TOLD all of her readers that she gave the things away. I am not the biggest fan of her blog and should just dump her off my list of reading and forget about it..right? I certainly don't want to piss her off cause I have seen on her blog the wrath she uses to call other bloggers out when they piss her off.
I just don't like the whole situation. I feel kind of cheated. I think that when it comes to the world of blogging and giveaways all you have is your credibility. She has completely lost her credibility with me. So what would you do if it happened to you? Would you continue to bug until you got your prize? Would you let it go and forget it? Would you out her for not giving the prize away? I even thought about contacting the company directly but am way to big of a wimp for that. It wasn't even that expensive of a prize just something that I really wanted for my kids. Ugh. I hate touchy awkward situations like this. Just send me my damn prize already!! (I yell even though she doesn't even read my blog lol). So I look to you, my fellow bloggers and experts in the etiquette of rudeness for advice.
Back in the middle of April I entered a contest on a blog. When the contest ended the blogger posted that I was won of two winners. I emailed the host right away with my address and contact information. Then I waited...and waited...and waited. Nothing.
After exactly a month I emailed the host a very friendly reminder asking if she ever got around to mailing the said prize. Her response was that she had totally forgot, apologizes all around, and a promise to mail it out that very weekend. That was back in May and I still haven't gotten my prize.
I know I should let it go. I don't want to be a pest and email her again...I shouldn't have to. I guess the reason it really bothers me is because it was a sponsored give away. A company gave her three free samples. One to keep and two to give away. She also TOLD all of her readers that she gave the things away. I am not the biggest fan of her blog and should just dump her off my list of reading and forget about it..right? I certainly don't want to piss her off cause I have seen on her blog the wrath she uses to call other bloggers out when they piss her off.
I just don't like the whole situation. I feel kind of cheated. I think that when it comes to the world of blogging and giveaways all you have is your credibility. She has completely lost her credibility with me. So what would you do if it happened to you? Would you continue to bug until you got your prize? Would you let it go and forget it? Would you out her for not giving the prize away? I even thought about contacting the company directly but am way to big of a wimp for that. It wasn't even that expensive of a prize just something that I really wanted for my kids. Ugh. I hate touchy awkward situations like this. Just send me my damn prize already!! (I yell even though she doesn't even read my blog lol). So I look to you, my fellow bloggers and experts in the etiquette of rudeness for advice.
7.09.2009
No getting around it...literally
This past weekend we took the boat out to the lake for the day on Sunday. It was glorious except two things.
Ok so obviously I don't have it narrowed down at all so any help that you all have would be much appreciated. You are going to laugh but the person I always take with me to buy a swimsuit is my husband. 1) Because he is the only person in the world I would let see me in such a vulnerable state and 2) because he is brutally honest and when he finds a suit he likes I know he really likes it and isn't just trying to be nice.
One the boat was not running quite right. Bret thought it might be bad gas. This past Monday he replaced a spark plug, put new gas in it, took it to the lake, and the engine blew up. Ok so it didn't really blow up more like it completely seized up or whatever. There is nothing more frustrating than not having any idea about mechanical things. You feel very vulnerable when someone you don't know tells you that it is going to cost a lot of money and you don't know if that is very realistic/a good deal or if you are being taken. We have spent the last couple days fretting about what we should do. Should we sink the money into it and fix it? Should we try and sell it for next to nothing as junk? Should we trade it in on something else with the money it would have cost us to fix it? I just don't know. I do know that it is expensive all around and I wish we didn't have to deal with it at all.
Bret and I usually make these types of decisions totally together. We talk about it (sometimes argue) and decide together what we should do. This time we both just don't know and it is hard because neither one of us feels strongly about any of the options. We also don't want to feel like we (as an individual) made the decision on our own. So we are stuck trying to figure out what to do. All I can say is UGH!
The other problem from the weekend probably pales in comparison but is still bugging me is my swimsuit. I love my swimsuit and have had it for over two years now. It is really starting to fade and even starting to thin in the material in a few places. Not to mention the fact that my not so tiny belly is getting to the point where it is starting to peak out. I might be tempted to try and make due for the rest of the summer except on the 18th of July we have our annual pool party at our program chair's house.
Can I just say that this pool of his is a pool to top all others. It is such a fun afternoon for all of the residents and their families. With two small children that are definitely part fish I know that even I wanted to sit by the pool instead of swim that would not be an option. So instead I find myself in need of a swim suit...a maternity swim suit.
Swim suits are the most awful thing to shop for. With my body type I walk a thin line between old lady swim suits and something that won't scare the fish off. Pre being a mom I tried to keep the focus on upper well endowed half rather than the squishy rest of me. However after my first mommy and me swim classes I realized I didn't want to be "that mom" either.
So here are the swimsuits that I have it narrowed down to. Mind you I haven't tried them on yet so depending on how they fit/look on my opinion may change. Let me know which one is your favorite. For anyone who hasn't worn/bought a maternity swim suit they are all two piece with little bottoms. I like the skirted bottom the best but have no idea which top to go with it.
Ok so obviously I don't have it narrowed down at all so any help that you all have would be much appreciated. You are going to laugh but the person I always take with me to buy a swimsuit is my husband. 1) Because he is the only person in the world I would let see me in such a vulnerable state and 2) because he is brutally honest and when he finds a suit he likes I know he really likes it and isn't just trying to be nice.
7.08.2009
Day 1 down...Countless others to go
So yesterday was the first day our cable was shut off. It was kind of sad to see the kids panic when the first thing they did when they came through the door was to turn on the TV. Palmer was a little beside himself not knowing what to do. However, after about 5 minutes of pouting, whining that they didn't have anything to do, and that they wanted the TV back they started to figure it out.
They both went outside and *gasp* played until dinner. After dinner Bret left for work and the kids and I went for a walk. While Palmer was taking a bath Emily got out a birthday present from LAST year that had never been opened. It was a bead and string kit to make bracelets and necklaces. She loved it. When Emily took her bath I got out some puzzles that haven't seen the light of day since Emily was 2 for Palmer to play with and he had a lot of fun. As I was digging these things out I realized that they have so many toys that have barely been played with. I saw toys that were Emily's (like Mr. Potato head stuff and her Candyland game) that Palmer would love.
It wasn't until the kids were bathed, read to, and in bed that I realized I wasn't sure what I was going to do. Usually at this time of night I settle in front of the couch and watch a couple of shows before I stumble off to bed. Of course I could have cheated and watched a movie on the computer (since we still have Internet access and Hulu is awesome). We are also new members of Netflix and should have our first movie in the mail any day now. Instead I decided to settle into one of the many books I have been wanting to read. Maybe I will feel really adventurous tonight and break out my sewing machine as I have a ton of projects calling my name.
I still wonder what the heck I was thinking by deciding to have it turned off 3 weeks before Bret's night rotation is over not to mention in the middle of the new season of True Blood. Honestly so far it feels pretty good. If nothing else I realized after watching my kids feel very lost not having the TV just how necessary it was.
They both went outside and *gasp* played until dinner. After dinner Bret left for work and the kids and I went for a walk. While Palmer was taking a bath Emily got out a birthday present from LAST year that had never been opened. It was a bead and string kit to make bracelets and necklaces. She loved it. When Emily took her bath I got out some puzzles that haven't seen the light of day since Emily was 2 for Palmer to play with and he had a lot of fun. As I was digging these things out I realized that they have so many toys that have barely been played with. I saw toys that were Emily's (like Mr. Potato head stuff and her Candyland game) that Palmer would love.
It wasn't until the kids were bathed, read to, and in bed that I realized I wasn't sure what I was going to do. Usually at this time of night I settle in front of the couch and watch a couple of shows before I stumble off to bed. Of course I could have cheated and watched a movie on the computer (since we still have Internet access and Hulu is awesome). We are also new members of Netflix and should have our first movie in the mail any day now. Instead I decided to settle into one of the many books I have been wanting to read. Maybe I will feel really adventurous tonight and break out my sewing machine as I have a ton of projects calling my name.
I still wonder what the heck I was thinking by deciding to have it turned off 3 weeks before Bret's night rotation is over not to mention in the middle of the new season of True Blood. Honestly so far it feels pretty good. If nothing else I realized after watching my kids feel very lost not having the TV just how necessary it was.
7.07.2009
Week 14
This week I officially begin my second trimester. Emily reminded me of this when shortly after she woke up she looked at me with a huge grin and said "momma I can see that the baby is getting bigger". Her joy helps me to overlook the other meaning to her comment...that I am showing at an alarming rate. The good news is that a few weeks ago at my monthly visit I was overjoyed to find out that in the entire month I had only gained a 1/2 pound. I was worried by the way my work clothes were no longer fitting at all that my gain would be much greater. While some moms look forward to a free for all eating experience during pregnancy that is not the case for me. The threat of diabetes is on the horizon so I try to limit my weight gain (early on at least) and make good food choices. Summer has been a huge help to this as the amount of melon, berries, tomatoes, and cucumbers that I (with Emily trailing shortly behind) have consumed has been astonishing.
I have had very little to no nausea to complain about which is surprising compared to my first two pregnancies. No food cravings either. Sometimes when I am just hungry I wonder if I called it a craving if I could get Bret to run out and get it anyway (like for an evening Dairy Queen run).
I am not one of those people that thinks that being pregnant is the best thing ever but I don't have much to complain about. My grandmother once said that pregnancy suits me. By the time it is all over I will be the first to admit that the end is rather uncomfortable. The beginning can be hard to get through the day when everything makes you ill and you could sleep for days and still be exhausted. If I had to pick one thing that I disliked about being pregnant it is the lack of ability to be comfortable especially at night. I sleep on my stomach and no matter how hard I try sleeping on my side is just not the same. Waking up in the middle of the night can be frustrating too.
It's a strange thing when people ask you all the time how you feel. I don't blame them as I do it all the time too. Truthfully I feel fine..maybe even better than fine. I hope that the next 26 weeks goes by as quickly as the past 14.
I have had very little to no nausea to complain about which is surprising compared to my first two pregnancies. No food cravings either. Sometimes when I am just hungry I wonder if I called it a craving if I could get Bret to run out and get it anyway (like for an evening Dairy Queen run).
I am not one of those people that thinks that being pregnant is the best thing ever but I don't have much to complain about. My grandmother once said that pregnancy suits me. By the time it is all over I will be the first to admit that the end is rather uncomfortable. The beginning can be hard to get through the day when everything makes you ill and you could sleep for days and still be exhausted. If I had to pick one thing that I disliked about being pregnant it is the lack of ability to be comfortable especially at night. I sleep on my stomach and no matter how hard I try sleeping on my side is just not the same. Waking up in the middle of the night can be frustrating too.
It's a strange thing when people ask you all the time how you feel. I don't blame them as I do it all the time too. Truthfully I feel fine..maybe even better than fine. I hope that the next 26 weeks goes by as quickly as the past 14.
7.06.2009
Best Laid Plans
A few years ago the faculty were told by administration that they needed to add a day to the curriculum. After much deliberation they decided to add Labor Day. I don't pretend to understand their reasoning but that said because the college is open the staff are required to work as well. This resulted in a couple of extra floating holidays for the staff which is why I am off today.
Don't get me wrong it is nice to have today off after the busy weekend to get caught up on laundry, house work, and spend some much needed time with the kids. I also don't mind working Labor Day that much because Bret is usually working to. The only real problem is that of course the daycare is closed so we have to scramble to get back up care for the day. I haven't seen the schedule this year so if by chance Bret does have off I can always use vacation time instead.
My days off are always intended to get "caught up". I had planned on things like getting a couple things I have been wanting to see on craigslist posted, get ahead on some cooking and fill my freezer with just a few things (like breakfast burritos..yum), and of course do something fun with the kids like spend the afternoon at the pool or catch a matinee. The best laid plans...
After spending the morning making breakfast, cleaning up after breakfast, and getting four loads of laundry done I am feeling pretty spent. I am hopeful that the kids will take an early nap and I can revive myself for round two this afternoon. It's days like today that make me wonder how I manage to put in an 8 hour work day plus my second job at home before and after work.
Don't get me wrong it is nice to have today off after the busy weekend to get caught up on laundry, house work, and spend some much needed time with the kids. I also don't mind working Labor Day that much because Bret is usually working to. The only real problem is that of course the daycare is closed so we have to scramble to get back up care for the day. I haven't seen the schedule this year so if by chance Bret does have off I can always use vacation time instead.
My days off are always intended to get "caught up". I had planned on things like getting a couple things I have been wanting to see on craigslist posted, get ahead on some cooking and fill my freezer with just a few things (like breakfast burritos..yum), and of course do something fun with the kids like spend the afternoon at the pool or catch a matinee. The best laid plans...
After spending the morning making breakfast, cleaning up after breakfast, and getting four loads of laundry done I am feeling pretty spent. I am hopeful that the kids will take an early nap and I can revive myself for round two this afternoon. It's days like today that make me wonder how I manage to put in an 8 hour work day plus my second job at home before and after work.
7.03.2009
Lady Bugs Everywhere!
I've been featured at Creative Parties & Showers. Be sure to check this website out for more adorable party and shower ideas!
Last year for Emily's 4th birthday party we wanted to do an outside theme since her birthday is at the end of July. Emily decided she wanted to do a ladybug theme as she was really into bugs at the time.
To decorate I used red and black streamers and balloons. On the red balloons I used a Sharpie and made spots all over them. I also bought Styrofoam half balls and spray painted them to look like lady bugs. Using pipe cleaners, googly eyes, and black pom poms I turned them into adorable lady bugs. We then used poster putty to hang them all over the apartment inside and out. The kids loved seeing them on the ceiling, doorways, and just about everywhere you looked. The kids also got lady bug head bands that we made using head bands bought at the Dollar Store, pipe cleaners, black pom poms, and hot glue.
Because it was so hot outside to start the party out we had our kiddie pool filled, the slip 'n slid out, and a sprinkler going. The kids had a great time getting wet and cooled off. (We had asked everyone to bring sunscreen, suits, and towels with them).
We had four other activities. I ordered ladybug beads from Oriental Trading and let the kids make their own bracelets and necklaces. For the smaller toddlers I had ladybug tattoos instead. For the second activity we stuck the spots on the lady bug. I drew the lady bug on a piece of poster board and used opened Oreo's for the spots.
We put a bandanna on as a blind fold and then handed the child an Oreo. The kid then opened the Oreo and then licked it so that it would stick. They thought that was awesome. My younger child had a blast just eating the Oreo's.
Because no party is a party without a pinata the kids had a good time hitting away at the lady bug pinata I got at Party City.
The last activity was decorating a lady bug house that I ordered from Oriental Trading. The kits came with foam bugs that had to be glued on. To save time I bought lady bug stickers and let them use the stickers and markers to decorate instead. The kids then got a big surprise when they found out that we had ordered LIVE lady bugs from an online gardening site. Each child got to take home their bug headband, bracelets, and lady bug houses with live lady bugs. *Note* the bug houses that we made were not sealed up well enough to keep all ladybugs inside. Next time I plan to decorate jars or something instead. The kids didn't mind though cause they loved the lady bugs and th
ey are good for the yard.For food we had Emily's favorite finger foods which included fruit & veggie trays, cheese & crackers, juice boxes, and lady bug cupcakes that I made. After the party was over close friends and family stayed for a cookout. All of the kids had a blast and Emily is still talking about her ladybug party.
Creative Parties & Showers
I was featured by Creative Parties and Showers for Emily's 4th birthday party...ladybugs!
7.02.2009
Attention Parents
Yesterday when I picked up the kids from daycare I found a note tucked into their box. The note was to notify parents that there was an outbreak of chicken pox at the school.
Immunizations are a touchy subject with some parents. My feelings have changed over the years on whether or not kids should be required to be immunized. When Emily was a baby her first babysitter did not immunize her children. I had to sign a waiver showing that I understood this and was fine with it. At the time Bret and I talked it over and thought that it didn't really affect our kid because she was immunized. Four years of med school for Bret and hours of reading for me 5 years later and I realize that this is not entirely true and that even back then I should have been more cautious.
Immunizations only work about 80-90% of the time. We count on disease eradication and groups of immunized children to cover the difference. You also don't get all of the immunizations you need when you are born so there is a gap between when you are protected or not. Pregnant women's babies are also not completely immunized (although they do receive protection from the antibodies from their mother it may not be enough) and can still be at risk also.
What this means is that if you CHOOSE not to immunize your child you could be putting me and my children at risk too. At the point you are putting other children at risk this no longer becomes an individual right.
I watched an episode of private practice (albeit pretty far fetched TV) where a mom decided to not immunize her younger children because her oldest son was autistic which she thought was to blame. Of course in this TV episode her youngest child got sick and died.
I think sometimes our generation forgets that these are serious diseases that many people have died or have long term effects from. There is a reason that all of the money and time and research went into eradicating these diseases. For a while people who stopped immunizing could say see it doesn't matter and it worked because people like me were in the majority and continued to immunize which kept your children safe. As long as people continue to resist immunizing these diseases will come back and children will die and no one will be completely safe.
I understand the fear of autism. I have friends that believe with every inch of their being that immunization is the cause but the research doesn't support it. If some how immunizations causes it the link must be very rare because they would have found it by now. I spent hours reading the research before I got Palmer immunized (cause the risks are so much higher for boys) and still came to the same conclusion. I want to believe these parents that are so convinced but science in every case points a different picture. There is study after study that shows that we as pregnant women subject our babies to 25 times the amount of mercury in our everyday consumption than what is present in immunizations with no connection to autism. Some other studies done after the war have even more conclusive evidence to show the lack of connection between the too.
We have to go with what has been proven to work. Immunizations save lives but only when everyone participates.
I don't usually point fingers and tell people how they should parent because I do think that we have to make the best choices for our own kids. However when you put me and my children at risk I believe strongly enough to tell you that you are wrong. I know that the chances of us being in harm's way over Chicken pox seems a little rash but after understanding the possible affects to a baby while in utero (birth defects, abnormal growth, death) and having to go get tested I am a little less than rash right now. These tests came back fine but the next pregnant woman may not be so lucky.
Immunizations are a touchy subject with some parents. My feelings have changed over the years on whether or not kids should be required to be immunized. When Emily was a baby her first babysitter did not immunize her children. I had to sign a waiver showing that I understood this and was fine with it. At the time Bret and I talked it over and thought that it didn't really affect our kid because she was immunized. Four years of med school for Bret and hours of reading for me 5 years later and I realize that this is not entirely true and that even back then I should have been more cautious.
Immunizations only work about 80-90% of the time. We count on disease eradication and groups of immunized children to cover the difference. You also don't get all of the immunizations you need when you are born so there is a gap between when you are protected or not. Pregnant women's babies are also not completely immunized (although they do receive protection from the antibodies from their mother it may not be enough) and can still be at risk also.
What this means is that if you CHOOSE not to immunize your child you could be putting me and my children at risk too. At the point you are putting other children at risk this no longer becomes an individual right.
I watched an episode of private practice (albeit pretty far fetched TV) where a mom decided to not immunize her younger children because her oldest son was autistic which she thought was to blame. Of course in this TV episode her youngest child got sick and died.
I think sometimes our generation forgets that these are serious diseases that many people have died or have long term effects from. There is a reason that all of the money and time and research went into eradicating these diseases. For a while people who stopped immunizing could say see it doesn't matter and it worked because people like me were in the majority and continued to immunize which kept your children safe. As long as people continue to resist immunizing these diseases will come back and children will die and no one will be completely safe.
I understand the fear of autism. I have friends that believe with every inch of their being that immunization is the cause but the research doesn't support it. If some how immunizations causes it the link must be very rare because they would have found it by now. I spent hours reading the research before I got Palmer immunized (cause the risks are so much higher for boys) and still came to the same conclusion. I want to believe these parents that are so convinced but science in every case points a different picture. There is study after study that shows that we as pregnant women subject our babies to 25 times the amount of mercury in our everyday consumption than what is present in immunizations with no connection to autism. Some other studies done after the war have even more conclusive evidence to show the lack of connection between the too.
We have to go with what has been proven to work. Immunizations save lives but only when everyone participates.
I don't usually point fingers and tell people how they should parent because I do think that we have to make the best choices for our own kids. However when you put me and my children at risk I believe strongly enough to tell you that you are wrong. I know that the chances of us being in harm's way over Chicken pox seems a little rash but after understanding the possible affects to a baby while in utero (birth defects, abnormal growth, death) and having to go get tested I am a little less than rash right now. These tests came back fine but the next pregnant woman may not be so lucky.
7.01.2009
Joys of Potty Training
Last night I was at a neighbor's porch visiting. I saw Emily come up over the hill towards us and Palmer's little head staying closer to our apartment. I hollered for him to come over too as we were enjoying some ice cream. "I'm coming mama" he yelled back.
I was watching and couldn't figure out what was taking him so long and why he couldn't get up the hill. I asked Emily "what's taking Palmer so long"? She shrugged and replied "he can't get his pants up".
I went over to see if that was in fact the case and I found my little 2 year old waddling. In all his glory his underwear and pants were stuck around his ankles with a huge grin on his face. "Mama help...I went potty". I was proud that he had gone inside on his own and made it to the potty chair but it was hard not laugh at his little butt trying to waddle up the hill. Ah the joys of potty training...it could be worse.
I was watching and couldn't figure out what was taking him so long and why he couldn't get up the hill. I asked Emily "what's taking Palmer so long"? She shrugged and replied "he can't get his pants up".
I went over to see if that was in fact the case and I found my little 2 year old waddling. In all his glory his underwear and pants were stuck around his ankles with a huge grin on his face. "Mama help...I went potty". I was proud that he had gone inside on his own and made it to the potty chair but it was hard not laugh at his little butt trying to waddle up the hill. Ah the joys of potty training...it could be worse.
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