So getting up early for Lent has gotten a little lax lately. Bret is working a rotation where he isn't having to get up quite as early and so my motivation has waned slightly. It was easier to get my butt out of bed when he was up first but now the idea of getting up before him has not really sat well with my internal clock that begs for a few more minutes. I hate this because I heard myself this morning rushing the kids around and mentally keeping my self from yelling "LET'S GO!!!" or "HURRY UP". Ugh
I showed a friend a picture of the dress that I am supposed to wear and she pointed out something that hadn't hit me before...the dress is totally designed for the 5'8 or taller type of girls that are also bridesmaids...not the 5 foot nothingness of me. If you don't believe me please feel free to check out the dress for yourself at David's Bridal. The style code is D18293 and the dress is in Apple RED. My MIL mentioned that "so and so" is bigger than you and bustier and the dress looked nice on her although she did look like she might fall out a bit but I am sure with a good bra you will be just fine. Thanks, I feel so much better. Her intention is in the right place...right?
Bret had stay late last night so he didn't get home until after 7 and by the time we had dinner and got the kids off to bed it was getting late. My two running buds were not available so after much begging and pleading I finally convinced Bret to "walk" with me. Luckily since he is over 6 ft tall he has long legs and his "brisk" walk is comparable to my "slow" jog. It was something at least.
This weekend is the first weekend Bret has not worked in almost a month and we are all so excited. I think we might take a trip to the aquarium as we haven't been there before. I have heard different opinions on whether the NJ or Baltimore one is better. Thoughts? Hopefully I will have some fun pictures to post soon as our other adventure for the weekend is to get family photos taken. Fun, fun!
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
3.12.2009
3.11.2009
Understudy Bridesmaid
My SIL is getting married this summer to her high school sweet heart. We love her soon to be husband and he has felt like family forever. Long story short SIL did not ask me to be a bridesmaid but instead asked me to be her personal attendant. I was hurt b/c I felt like we were more like sisters than that. She was in my wedding, she lived with me for a year, I have been in her family for over 10 years, etc, etc. I told her my feelings were hurt, she felt bad, but was set on having her BFF's be the ones standing at the alter with her (she is having 5 bridesmaids). Fast forward several months and all was well. I got over it and was excited to help with the planning.
Then a couple of days ago I saw her facebook status and it said something about being super stressed about the wedding and something about not everything was going smoothly for the first time. So being the good sister I called her to see what was up and how I could help. Little did I know the "how I could help" part was going to be key.
One of SIL BFF's brothers just got engaged and are planning on getting married in Vegas on the same day so she had to bow out. So here I am trying to convince SIL that this isn't that big of a deal. She can have the Best man stand at the alter with the groom, she can had two guys escort one girl, or she can ask one of her other BFF's to stand in. Then there was this awkward pause where she starts to say that if I want to say no she completely understands but she really wants to ask me to be a bridesmaid.
My response was of course. I want her to be happy and I want things to go smoothly for me and it doesn't matter if that means I am standing outside handing out programs or in the front of the church besides her. Where ever she needs me that is where I will be. I am not some sort of hero because in all honesty I am kind of secretly thrilled. It's like the understudy who worked their butt off and then the lead gets hurt and the spotlight is now yours. In my SIL's defense if I was in her situation I probably would have done the same thing. I am sure that she and her future husband were going to have 6 bridesmaids I would have been next in line (shh, just let me go with this) and now here it is. The wedding is saved and everything is as it should be. (Bret said...see I knew everything would work out the way is was supposed to.)
Then I saw the "Dress" that I am supposed to wear and I started to panic. I have to say that I have been slacking in the slightest in the exercise and diet area and it was kind of nice to not have to worry about looking like the skinny hot college students that will be standing next to me. So I ran 3 miles last night and have started a major low carb, low cal diet, and started looking at tanning places for a good deal. I will keep you posted on the progress (or lack there of as I start to panic).
Then a couple of days ago I saw her facebook status and it said something about being super stressed about the wedding and something about not everything was going smoothly for the first time. So being the good sister I called her to see what was up and how I could help. Little did I know the "how I could help" part was going to be key.
One of SIL BFF's brothers just got engaged and are planning on getting married in Vegas on the same day so she had to bow out. So here I am trying to convince SIL that this isn't that big of a deal. She can have the Best man stand at the alter with the groom, she can had two guys escort one girl, or she can ask one of her other BFF's to stand in. Then there was this awkward pause where she starts to say that if I want to say no she completely understands but she really wants to ask me to be a bridesmaid.
My response was of course. I want her to be happy and I want things to go smoothly for me and it doesn't matter if that means I am standing outside handing out programs or in the front of the church besides her. Where ever she needs me that is where I will be. I am not some sort of hero because in all honesty I am kind of secretly thrilled. It's like the understudy who worked their butt off and then the lead gets hurt and the spotlight is now yours. In my SIL's defense if I was in her situation I probably would have done the same thing. I am sure that she and her future husband were going to have 6 bridesmaids I would have been next in line (shh, just let me go with this) and now here it is. The wedding is saved and everything is as it should be. (Bret said...see I knew everything would work out the way is was supposed to.)
Then I saw the "Dress" that I am supposed to wear and I started to panic. I have to say that I have been slacking in the slightest in the exercise and diet area and it was kind of nice to not have to worry about looking like the skinny hot college students that will be standing next to me. So I ran 3 miles last night and have started a major low carb, low cal diet, and started looking at tanning places for a good deal. I will keep you posted on the progress (or lack there of as I start to panic).
2.11.2009
What I wish someone would have told me
So my dear friend Matt is going to be a dad in less than a week. He and his wife moved here recently and have not met a lot of people and don't have any family living in the area. On top of that they are having twins....Monday. As a new dad to be, Matt has expressed his fear of being a father and being able to survive parenthood. Although I was much younger (over 10 years) when I was going through this anxiety for this first time I think that there are some things that I had to figure out the hard way that I wish someone would have told me. So for that reason (and because I love to make fun lists) I have listed the top 10 things that I wish someone would have told me before becoming a mother. So Matt, take it or leave it, here is my unsolicited advice and and my faithful 6 readers will probably have something to add as well :)
1. Babies are resilient. When you first hold your newborn you think that they are the most fragile thing that you could ever hold. While I don't think that you should swing it around like a doll or anything (and definitely don't shake it) we have to remember that they were just born. That means that they either squeezed their way through a pelvis and out a not so big hole or a doctor and team of nurses just cut a hole open through an abdomen and pulled them out. Either way they are not as fragile as you think. I was so scared when I had my first that I (or more likely someone else) was going to drop her, or accidentally hit her head on something, or her little legs would get hurt from holding them out of the way when I changed their diapers. I wish someone would have told me to relax babies are made with pliable bones that are virtually incapable of breaking and that your natural instincts will kick into gear and will protect the baby. So breath when other people want to hold your babies and relax. (BTW Emily did drop Palmer when he was 6 months old b/c she was trying to pick him up and then worried that she would get caught so she just let him go...he was fine)
2. Since you have a girl and a boy I thought you should know that from birth they are completely different creatures. Watch out for the little sprinkler and be prepared for totally different personalities. There is something to said about boys being boys. Palmer has had a concussion, stitches, and a chipped tooth. He is only two. Emily faints if she gets a paper cut and lets hope she never sees blood. Even friends with twins say that the two couldn't be more different. Celebrate their differences.
3. Exhaustion has a new meaning after becoming a parent. You thought you knew what it was like to be tired. Not so. The first few weeks after you have a baby takes you to a whole new level of running on fumes. I like to think of this as a rite of passage. We have all been there and are able to look back with warm memories of falling asleep at the dinner table. Good luck with that and if you figure out a way to lesson it I expect a 10% royalty of the millions you would make.
4. Worry is your new middle name. You never thought that how many wet diapers would be something to concern yourself with, did they burp, are they eating enough, have they pooped often enough, are they warm enough, is the car seat secure, did that person wash their hands, what if they got a cold, how is daycare going to go, are they eating enough, are they sleeping enough? Then you worry about friends, are they learning at the right pace, do they say enough words, are they safe? My mom claims that it doesn't end and that she still worries about me and on top of it my kids now to. So remember to focus on the now. I like that kids seem to come with a natural guide. In the beginning they start you out easy with basic life necessities...eat, diapers, and sleep. Gradually you grow to safety..don't put that in your mouth, don't stick your finger in that, etc. Then into social growth like don't bite your friend, share, be nice to people. I will let you know as we continue into the unknown how it is going. I suggest Yo Gabba-Gabba for help on these issues.
5. Kids should fit into your life not the other way around. Actually someone did tell me this when I was pregnant with Emily and it was the best piece of advice I ever got. She had told me that you will NEVER get your life back if you don't make it a point to help a child adjust to yours. What she meant by this was if the baby is sleeping and you need to vacuum...do it. If you start out tiptoeing around when they are sleeping you will forever have to be quiet. If instead you teach your children to sleep regardless of the noise you will be forever grateful. Remember to take time out for yourself and for time alone with Dana and find something to talk about other than the kids. OK, who am I kidding Bret and I have a hard time talking about anything else too but we still try. Besides I know where you can find free babysitting :)
6. Schedule, schedule, schedule. From eating to bed time, routine and schedule is your best friend. I am sure that I could even pull studies from somewhere that show that kids do better when they know what to expect and have a schedule. Some days it will feel like a burden but most days it will be a relief even for you to know what to expect.
7. Make your own family traditions. Bret and I both came from families that had all kinds of weird traditions. We took some of his and some of mine and the worked really hard to make some of our own. Birthdays are a great example. What did you do to make it special and what will you do with your own kids?
8. There is no right or wrong way to parent (OK maybe the crazy people who hurt or abuse their kids are wrong but for the most part). You have your kids best intentions at heart and that is all that matters. Everything else will work itself out and you will make the right choices and decisions. What worked for one parent may not work for anyone else either.
9. Parenting is the easiest job in the world...kind of. Your job as a parent is love your child and take care of them. Although it is the most demanding and hard work you will ever do it is the easiest. Loving your child from the first moment is a piece of cake. You already do. Taking care of them is the next most natural thing. You want to keep them safe, you want to provide the very best, you want them to be happy and healthy so doing it is just a matter of making it happen.
10. You get to be kid all over again only better. Things like Valentine's day, Halloween, Easter, swimming, going for walks, baking cookies, reading books, playing with cars or dolls, playing with playdoh, vacations, camping, and so many many more things are all new and you get to experience it for the first time through their eyes. There is no greater joy. The excitement and pride and memories are ecstasy.
Best wishes to you and Dana and don't forget that we are here and are willing/able to help.
1. Babies are resilient. When you first hold your newborn you think that they are the most fragile thing that you could ever hold. While I don't think that you should swing it around like a doll or anything (and definitely don't shake it) we have to remember that they were just born. That means that they either squeezed their way through a pelvis and out a not so big hole or a doctor and team of nurses just cut a hole open through an abdomen and pulled them out. Either way they are not as fragile as you think. I was so scared when I had my first that I (or more likely someone else) was going to drop her, or accidentally hit her head on something, or her little legs would get hurt from holding them out of the way when I changed their diapers. I wish someone would have told me to relax babies are made with pliable bones that are virtually incapable of breaking and that your natural instincts will kick into gear and will protect the baby. So breath when other people want to hold your babies and relax. (BTW Emily did drop Palmer when he was 6 months old b/c she was trying to pick him up and then worried that she would get caught so she just let him go...he was fine)
2. Since you have a girl and a boy I thought you should know that from birth they are completely different creatures. Watch out for the little sprinkler and be prepared for totally different personalities. There is something to said about boys being boys. Palmer has had a concussion, stitches, and a chipped tooth. He is only two. Emily faints if she gets a paper cut and lets hope she never sees blood. Even friends with twins say that the two couldn't be more different. Celebrate their differences.
3. Exhaustion has a new meaning after becoming a parent. You thought you knew what it was like to be tired. Not so. The first few weeks after you have a baby takes you to a whole new level of running on fumes. I like to think of this as a rite of passage. We have all been there and are able to look back with warm memories of falling asleep at the dinner table. Good luck with that and if you figure out a way to lesson it I expect a 10% royalty of the millions you would make.
4. Worry is your new middle name. You never thought that how many wet diapers would be something to concern yourself with, did they burp, are they eating enough, have they pooped often enough, are they warm enough, is the car seat secure, did that person wash their hands, what if they got a cold, how is daycare going to go, are they eating enough, are they sleeping enough? Then you worry about friends, are they learning at the right pace, do they say enough words, are they safe? My mom claims that it doesn't end and that she still worries about me and on top of it my kids now to. So remember to focus on the now. I like that kids seem to come with a natural guide. In the beginning they start you out easy with basic life necessities...eat, diapers, and sleep. Gradually you grow to safety..don't put that in your mouth, don't stick your finger in that, etc. Then into social growth like don't bite your friend, share, be nice to people. I will let you know as we continue into the unknown how it is going. I suggest Yo Gabba-Gabba for help on these issues.
5. Kids should fit into your life not the other way around. Actually someone did tell me this when I was pregnant with Emily and it was the best piece of advice I ever got. She had told me that you will NEVER get your life back if you don't make it a point to help a child adjust to yours. What she meant by this was if the baby is sleeping and you need to vacuum...do it. If you start out tiptoeing around when they are sleeping you will forever have to be quiet. If instead you teach your children to sleep regardless of the noise you will be forever grateful. Remember to take time out for yourself and for time alone with Dana and find something to talk about other than the kids. OK, who am I kidding Bret and I have a hard time talking about anything else too but we still try. Besides I know where you can find free babysitting :)
6. Schedule, schedule, schedule. From eating to bed time, routine and schedule is your best friend. I am sure that I could even pull studies from somewhere that show that kids do better when they know what to expect and have a schedule. Some days it will feel like a burden but most days it will be a relief even for you to know what to expect.
7. Make your own family traditions. Bret and I both came from families that had all kinds of weird traditions. We took some of his and some of mine and the worked really hard to make some of our own. Birthdays are a great example. What did you do to make it special and what will you do with your own kids?
8. There is no right or wrong way to parent (OK maybe the crazy people who hurt or abuse their kids are wrong but for the most part). You have your kids best intentions at heart and that is all that matters. Everything else will work itself out and you will make the right choices and decisions. What worked for one parent may not work for anyone else either.
9. Parenting is the easiest job in the world...kind of. Your job as a parent is love your child and take care of them. Although it is the most demanding and hard work you will ever do it is the easiest. Loving your child from the first moment is a piece of cake. You already do. Taking care of them is the next most natural thing. You want to keep them safe, you want to provide the very best, you want them to be happy and healthy so doing it is just a matter of making it happen.
10. You get to be kid all over again only better. Things like Valentine's day, Halloween, Easter, swimming, going for walks, baking cookies, reading books, playing with cars or dolls, playing with playdoh, vacations, camping, and so many many more things are all new and you get to experience it for the first time through their eyes. There is no greater joy. The excitement and pride and memories are ecstasy.
Best wishes to you and Dana and don't forget that we are here and are willing/able to help.
1.14.2009
GM
Today is my grandmother's birthday. I believe she is 92 or 93 (I know it is terrible that I don't remember exactly how old she is but after 90 the years sort of run together). So even though she has NEVER even seen a computer other than at someone elses house, this post is in her honor.
My grandmother, Frances, was by far the most influential woman in my life. Not that my mom didn't have a big impact on me but the reverence that I had for my grandmother could not be matched. My dad was the youngest child by over 10 years and thus my next closest cousin in age is 12 years older than me and lived in Texas most of his life. So when my sister and I were born it was almost like being the only grandkids and we were spoiled rotten. My cousins and I have always referred to our grandparents by GM & GP.
I say that GM was the most influential woman in my life because to me she was the example. She has always been a quiet and reserved woman. She was a devoted wife, mother, Catholic, daughter, sister, and friend. She ALWAYS believed the best of everyone. She was married to my grandfather for 60 years before he passed. Their marriage was one of love, compassion, and a deep mutual respect. GM doted on GP but GP respected her and even when I was a small child I saw and understood that.
As a mother she was loving but firm. She raised her children to be respectful and to find their place in the world. As a Catholic she never missed church and feel asleep every night holding her rosary which she prayed faithfully. She taught me to let God, which I think is one of the hardest lessons I have ever had to learn. Although I never met her mother I have heard stories about how she brought her FIL in to live with them so they could take care of him and of how she visited her mother several times a week. Her relationship with her siblings have been rocky over the years but she was the one who throughout the disagreements worked to find peace and bring them closer together again. As a friend she was one of the best. Taking care of them when they were sick or down, always inviting in the outcast. There was a woman in town that smelled so bad and was so dirty that all of us had to swallow down bile to be near her. She was known for lifting her dress and squatting right there in GM's yard. Yet GM never let her know that she knew and never thought twice about offering her a cup of tea and to sit in her kitchen to visit (even though it would take the rest of the day to air out). She did always refuse the coffee or cookies that the woman offered us (she wasn't that nice and knew that the woman had over 20 cats living with her).
GM was a fabulous cook and used food to soothe the soul. She has more patience than anyone I know. She always took the time to get me an apron and let me help with everything she did. The weeks I would spend at her house in the summers were some of the happiest in my life. They lived on a tiny farm in a tiny town in Kansas. While there we would make cookies, she taught me to cross stitch and crochet, we pumped water from the well to water the flowers, weeded the garden, fed and gather eggs from the chickens, hung the laundry on the line to dry, and walked to church and back every Sunday. Their home was safe and warm place where everyone was welcome.
When our family would all gather for the holidays a favorite quote always came to mind.."Because two people fell in love". To me that was the story line. GM & GP fell in love and together they created this family with many generations to come. Not only did she create this family but she nurtured it too. I remember when my cousin at the tender age of 20 moved to Alaska with her husband and 4 month old baby my grandmother dried her tears and wrote to her weekly to soothe homesickness that followed. On my wedding day she told my husband that he was a good man and that GP would be proud to call him his grandson. When I shocking found out I was pregnant she was the first person I told (after Bret) and she cried tears of joy and eased some of my deepest fears of motherhood.
GM was not famous. In fact very few people outside her family and the small town that she lived in her whole life had ever heard of her. She was also not outspoken or one to lecture. Instead she set the example with her own actions and made me want to make her proud. I hope that I lead a life as honorable as hers. I strive to be the things that she was and will always be.
12.23.2008
Totally Awkward Tuesdays
Today is the first day of Tova Darling's Totally Awkward Tuesday. As I love love love her and her blog and b/c I didn't really have anything that spectacular planned for today here is my first awkward post.
My sister and I are very close. Although we fought when we were younger we have been super close since I moved away to college. She even lived with me for a while. Of course when my dear sister got engaged she asked me to be maid of honor and I was thrilled. A few months prior to the big day we found out we were preggers with our second. My sister (although I love her dearly) has what some may call middle child syndrome. This common disease is diagnosed through expressions of not being the center of attention. They are neither the oldest or the youngest and thereby have an identity crisis and feel that nothing is ever about them. My sister is a classic case of this syndrome.
That being said I told Dr. Heskett that come hell or high water NO ONE was going to find out we were pregnant until after the wedding. The last thing I wanted was to steal her thunder by making a big announcement that IN ANY WAY could take the attention away from her. Problem #1...I was sicker than a dog. This was not just simple morning sickness...this was all day sickness. My eyes felt like they were floating in my head and uncontrollable waves of nausea would send me RUNNING to the nearest trash can (because it came way to fast for a bathroom run). Problem #2....Dress had to be altered and had to be unnoticeable. (Sad but true that you show WAY sooner with baby #2). Problem #3....Incredible boob pain that made wearing a bra impossible (luckily holding the dress up was not a problem...not everything about pregnancy is bad).
Problem #4...Pregnancy takes control of your mind and makes you a complete idiot that forgets everything...including the ring. As the maid of honor in your sister's wedding you really only have a couple of major jobs. Forgetting the ring and remembering half way through the ceremony is an issue. Luckily we are Catholic and mass takes forever before you get to the actual ring part. So in my best attempt to be inconspicuous in front of our 300 closest family and friends I signaled to my uncle in the back to run down stairs and find the ring which I left in my purse without my sister noticing. You read that correctly. I left the ring in my purse down in the basement of the church and I needed my uncle to get it and secretly bring it to me. I am a charades genius and we have this all on tape. Watching the tape was the first time that my sister, new BIL, and parents even had a clue that anything was going on. The most impressive part is that the back of the church was a long ways away...have you been to a Cathedral?
Now I am sure that you thought this story could not get any better...but wait.
Problem #5...I almost passed out. I always thought that the whole pregnant woman passing out and finding out that she was pregnant was just an old wives tale. Not true. After the ring episode I was planning to spend the rest of the ceremony planning out how I was going to sneak apple juice into my champagne flute for the toast and suddenly I got very warm. I felt flushed and then chilled. The next thing I knew I started to weave slightly and I felt myself go pale. I knew I was in real trouble when I started to see everything in tunnel vision and I could hear the priest talking but it seemed very far away. The bridesmaid standing next to me took my sister's bouquet from me (which weighed 500 lbs) and asked if I was OK. I told her that no I don't think I was OK and she asked what she should do. (Right now you are thinking that you had no idea so much could go on during a wedding ceremony and no one notice...but no one did I assure you or in my family I would have never heard the end of it.) I stepped down to her level and kind of leaned on her slightly. All I kept thinking about was that I was going to pass out at my sister's wedding in a bridesmaid dress in front of everyone I knew and roll down the steps (there are seven of them). That wasn't even the worst thought going through my head....I was going to steal my sister's show. Through sure will power I made it through the ceremony and when my sister finally kissed her new husband and turned towards me to get her bouquet I could tell how pale I was because she got really scared. I told her to just go I was fine. The priest grabbed my hand and told me to breath. After a brief breathing exercise the best man "escorted/carried" me out to the back of the church to the bathroom. I splashed water on my face, sat down, and was feeling much better. My dear Dr. Heskett was on the other end of the groomsman and thus one of the last of the bridal party to get to the back of the church. He heard the photographer ask if the maid of honor was OK. Although it took a moment for Dr. Heskett to realize that the maid of honor was in fact his pregnant wife he finally made it to the bathroom. I of course was crying and afraid that EVERYONE now knew that I was pregnant.
The only person who even suggested such a thing the rest of the night was my 90 grandmother who simply said "I think it is a boy" and smiled. The rest of the night went off without a hitch (everyone just thought I was dehydrated) and was truly surprised three weeks later when we made the big announcement at Emily's 2nd birthday. The best part is the no one really knew how awkward things were until they saw the video which is hilarious. You can see it all...forgotten ring...weaving maid of honor about to pass out...it is awesome. Happy Totally Awkward Tuesdays!
My sister and I are very close. Although we fought when we were younger we have been super close since I moved away to college. She even lived with me for a while. Of course when my dear sister got engaged she asked me to be maid of honor and I was thrilled. A few months prior to the big day we found out we were preggers with our second. My sister (although I love her dearly) has what some may call middle child syndrome. This common disease is diagnosed through expressions of not being the center of attention. They are neither the oldest or the youngest and thereby have an identity crisis and feel that nothing is ever about them. My sister is a classic case of this syndrome.
That being said I told Dr. Heskett that come hell or high water NO ONE was going to find out we were pregnant until after the wedding. The last thing I wanted was to steal her thunder by making a big announcement that IN ANY WAY could take the attention away from her. Problem #1...I was sicker than a dog. This was not just simple morning sickness...this was all day sickness. My eyes felt like they were floating in my head and uncontrollable waves of nausea would send me RUNNING to the nearest trash can (because it came way to fast for a bathroom run). Problem #2....Dress had to be altered and had to be unnoticeable. (Sad but true that you show WAY sooner with baby #2). Problem #3....Incredible boob pain that made wearing a bra impossible (luckily holding the dress up was not a problem...not everything about pregnancy is bad).
Problem #4...Pregnancy takes control of your mind and makes you a complete idiot that forgets everything...including the ring. As the maid of honor in your sister's wedding you really only have a couple of major jobs. Forgetting the ring and remembering half way through the ceremony is an issue. Luckily we are Catholic and mass takes forever before you get to the actual ring part. So in my best attempt to be inconspicuous in front of our 300 closest family and friends I signaled to my uncle in the back to run down stairs and find the ring which I left in my purse without my sister noticing. You read that correctly. I left the ring in my purse down in the basement of the church and I needed my uncle to get it and secretly bring it to me. I am a charades genius and we have this all on tape. Watching the tape was the first time that my sister, new BIL, and parents even had a clue that anything was going on. The most impressive part is that the back of the church was a long ways away...have you been to a Cathedral?
Now I am sure that you thought this story could not get any better...but wait.
Problem #5...I almost passed out. I always thought that the whole pregnant woman passing out and finding out that she was pregnant was just an old wives tale. Not true. After the ring episode I was planning to spend the rest of the ceremony planning out how I was going to sneak apple juice into my champagne flute for the toast and suddenly I got very warm. I felt flushed and then chilled. The next thing I knew I started to weave slightly and I felt myself go pale. I knew I was in real trouble when I started to see everything in tunnel vision and I could hear the priest talking but it seemed very far away. The bridesmaid standing next to me took my sister's bouquet from me (which weighed 500 lbs) and asked if I was OK. I told her that no I don't think I was OK and she asked what she should do. (Right now you are thinking that you had no idea so much could go on during a wedding ceremony and no one notice...but no one did I assure you or in my family I would have never heard the end of it.) I stepped down to her level and kind of leaned on her slightly. All I kept thinking about was that I was going to pass out at my sister's wedding in a bridesmaid dress in front of everyone I knew and roll down the steps (there are seven of them). That wasn't even the worst thought going through my head....I was going to steal my sister's show. Through sure will power I made it through the ceremony and when my sister finally kissed her new husband and turned towards me to get her bouquet I could tell how pale I was because she got really scared. I told her to just go I was fine. The priest grabbed my hand and told me to breath. After a brief breathing exercise the best man "escorted/carried" me out to the back of the church to the bathroom. I splashed water on my face, sat down, and was feeling much better. My dear Dr. Heskett was on the other end of the groomsman and thus one of the last of the bridal party to get to the back of the church. He heard the photographer ask if the maid of honor was OK. Although it took a moment for Dr. Heskett to realize that the maid of honor was in fact his pregnant wife he finally made it to the bathroom. I of course was crying and afraid that EVERYONE now knew that I was pregnant.
The only person who even suggested such a thing the rest of the night was my 90 grandmother who simply said "I think it is a boy" and smiled. The rest of the night went off without a hitch (everyone just thought I was dehydrated) and was truly surprised three weeks later when we made the big announcement at Emily's 2nd birthday. The best part is the no one really knew how awkward things were until they saw the video which is hilarious. You can see it all...forgotten ring...weaving maid of honor about to pass out...it is awesome. Happy Totally Awkward Tuesdays!
12.10.2008
My Christmas List
So last night after a long dinner with candidates hubs and I were hanging out watching TV while he played with his new iphone. I brought up the topic of what we are going to get each other for xmas...
Me: "Have you come up with anything else that you want for Christmas?"
Bret: "No"
Me: "Umm, your mom, my sister, dad, etc are all asking and I am not sure what to tell them..I am having a hard enough time coming up with things for me to get you"
Bret: "There isn't anything I want"
Me thinking to myself: "wow it must be nice to have everything you have ever wanted in life...maybe we should add a couple of the things that I want (like a Dyson, a new kitchen table and chairs, that new wok that I want, etc, etc, etc) that are really more for the both of us to your list so that I can get EVERYTHING that I want"
Me: "Well, do you want to know what I want?"
Bret: "No"
Me: "Are you going to get me anything?"
Bret: "I will figure something out...I got you a birthday present didn't I?"
And just like that he has ended the discussion for the night. Can we say frustrating???
It's not that my husband is a Scrooge or anything he just is a last minute procrastinator that I have spoiled with taking care of EVERYTHING for Christmas. I make lists and more lists. I go out on BF for savings and I plan. I buy every single gift except for mine. On the way to our families house he usually asks...so what did we get so and so? It is his brief update so that he can be in the moment when they open the perfect gift that "we" got them. Don't get me wrong I have no one to blame but myself. I love Christmas and the shopping and really I don't mind getting everyone's presents. I usually make his sit down and have a similar conversation when it comes to determining what to get the kids. He usually has a suggestion of something to get them that I hadn't thought about otherwise he just lets me get what I want for them.
Last year was pretty funny. I went shopping with a friend of mine that is also a resident. We were in a really fancy kitchen store and I saw the most awesome salt and pepper mills. They were Tangerine colored(yes my kitchen has tangerine in it...it all started with a Kitchen aid mixer that I got as a gift). When I picked them up though I almost passed out because of the price. Who knew that something so small could be so expensive? I mentioned to my friend that I loved them but that Bret would have a cow over the price for something so simple. Low and behold since he waited till the last minute he asked this friend if there was anything she knew of that I wanted and what did she tell him??? I got the mills and was shocked. (I still love them by the way.)
With my parents we made a list every year...we still do and we got exactly what we asked for with a few small things thrown in for good measure. Today I send my dad links and literally he just orders them from my email. Bret's family is not that way. They will get you one or two of the things you ask for and then everything else are things that they got for you that they thought you would like. For the first few years I got gift cards. After we were married Bret's mom slowly started to buy actual gifts. I haven't gotten a gift cards in over five years. It is fun to open their gifts b/c you never know what you are going to get and sometimes it is just perfect and you would have never guessed. The flip side of this coin is that they don't really tell you what they want either. SO I have to get on board and try to figure out things to get them when all I really want is their list so I can go out and get it.
Me: "Have you come up with anything else that you want for Christmas?"
Bret: "No"
Me: "Umm, your mom, my sister, dad, etc are all asking and I am not sure what to tell them..I am having a hard enough time coming up with things for me to get you"
Bret: "There isn't anything I want"
Me thinking to myself: "wow it must be nice to have everything you have ever wanted in life...maybe we should add a couple of the things that I want (like a Dyson, a new kitchen table and chairs, that new wok that I want, etc, etc, etc) that are really more for the both of us to your list so that I can get EVERYTHING that I want"
Me: "Well, do you want to know what I want?"
Bret: "No"
Me: "Are you going to get me anything?"
Bret: "I will figure something out...I got you a birthday present didn't I?"
And just like that he has ended the discussion for the night. Can we say frustrating???
It's not that my husband is a Scrooge or anything he just is a last minute procrastinator that I have spoiled with taking care of EVERYTHING for Christmas. I make lists and more lists. I go out on BF for savings and I plan. I buy every single gift except for mine. On the way to our families house he usually asks...so what did we get so and so? It is his brief update so that he can be in the moment when they open the perfect gift that "we" got them. Don't get me wrong I have no one to blame but myself. I love Christmas and the shopping and really I don't mind getting everyone's presents. I usually make his sit down and have a similar conversation when it comes to determining what to get the kids. He usually has a suggestion of something to get them that I hadn't thought about otherwise he just lets me get what I want for them.
Last year was pretty funny. I went shopping with a friend of mine that is also a resident. We were in a really fancy kitchen store and I saw the most awesome salt and pepper mills. They were Tangerine colored(yes my kitchen has tangerine in it...it all started with a Kitchen aid mixer that I got as a gift). When I picked them up though I almost passed out because of the price. Who knew that something so small could be so expensive? I mentioned to my friend that I loved them but that Bret would have a cow over the price for something so simple. Low and behold since he waited till the last minute he asked this friend if there was anything she knew of that I wanted and what did she tell him??? I got the mills and was shocked. (I still love them by the way.)
With my parents we made a list every year...we still do and we got exactly what we asked for with a few small things thrown in for good measure. Today I send my dad links and literally he just orders them from my email. Bret's family is not that way. They will get you one or two of the things you ask for and then everything else are things that they got for you that they thought you would like. For the first few years I got gift cards. After we were married Bret's mom slowly started to buy actual gifts. I haven't gotten a gift cards in over five years. It is fun to open their gifts b/c you never know what you are going to get and sometimes it is just perfect and you would have never guessed. The flip side of this coin is that they don't really tell you what they want either. SO I have to get on board and try to figure out things to get them when all I really want is their list so I can go out and get it.
12.05.2008
Shame on you grandma!
So every family has holiday traditions. In the Heskett family there is a Thanksgiving/Christmas tradition that I have come to love. They eat dinner at straight up noon and then spend the afternoon playing games, cards, and watching holiday movies together. Bret and I have always loved to play games, in fact our hall closet is so full of different board games that we have had to stash some in other closets as well.
Games are so loved in our family that there are always several under our tree at Christmas. Last year in fact Bret and I got the same game for each other unexpectantly. Bret's new favorite game is his PS3. His favorites are NCAA football and a couple of weird fighting games. I am really excited to see that the video game world is starting to come out with some family friendly games. We are getting the monopoly game and trivial pursuit for the PS3. Eventually we hope to get the wii and they have even cooler games for kids. Check out these links for the latest games for the people on your list and tell me your favorite game to play, board game, video game, computer game?
1) http://www.ea.com/
One year on the eve of Thanksgiving at Bret's parents house his mom, aunt, uncle, grandmother (85 at the time), sister, and us all sat down to play a new game that Bret and I had brought. It was called Beyond Balderdash. 
Balderdash is a game of bluffing or in Bret's family...BS'ing. Balderdash would just give a word and everyone would write down what they thought the word meant. Then taking turns a person would read all of the written definitions including the real definition. Then each person would vote for which definition was correct. You got points for guessing the real definition and if people voted for your crap definition. Beyond Balderdash was the same except it included more categories such as Movie Titles where you had to give the plot gist, dates where you had to tell why the date was significant, etc.
Balderdash is a game of bluffing or in Bret's family...BS'ing. Balderdash would just give a word and everyone would write down what they thought the word meant. Then taking turns a person would read all of the written definitions including the real definition. Then each person would vote for which definition was correct. You got points for guessing the real definition and if people voted for your crap definition. Beyond Balderdash was the same except it included more categories such as Movie Titles where you had to give the plot gist, dates where you had to tell why the date was significant, etc.On this particular evening the list of players was perfect for an evening of fun and proved to not disappoint. Bret and his uncle both believe that they are the kings of BS, his grandmother is creative but naive and his young sister made his mom blush on several occasions. On one particular turn his Aunt had the category of movie title and although I can't remember the exact title it was something like Girls Night Out. When his aunt collected the different answers she had to leave the room to compose herself. She was crying she was laughing so hard and we were anxiously waiting her return. Trying her best to keep a straight face she read through the definitions and we were aware of her difficulty to keep from laughing. The definitions were scandalous and one stuck out as extra R rated. After everyone voted Bret's mom started to lecture Bret's sister about the inappropriateness of her answer when his aunt stepped in to say that in fact it was his grandmother in her distinct writing that had submitted the R rated definition. Bret's grandmother smiled shyly and just replied that a title like that sounded too fast for her times.
I feel bad that my memory of what exactly was said is still pretty hazy but the point was how much fun we had and how hard we laughed. Games are an opportunity to have fun with each other. We love the competitiveness of it and it is something people of all ages can do together. Our four year old loves to play games and has all of the classics and then some. Her favorite games are Cariboo (we call this the ball game and it is my 2 year old's favorite too), Hi Ho Cherry-O, Memory, and the Kids version of Sequence (she calls it the animal game). Games teach kids to take turns, how to win some and lose some, and sometimes about counting/numbers/colors, etc.
Games are so loved in our family that there are always several under our tree at Christmas. Last year in fact Bret and I got the same game for each other unexpectantly. Bret's new favorite game is his PS3. His favorites are NCAA football and a couple of weird fighting games. I am really excited to see that the video game world is starting to come out with some family friendly games. We are getting the monopoly game and trivial pursuit for the PS3. Eventually we hope to get the wii and they have even cooler games for kids. Check out these links for the latest games for the people on your list and tell me your favorite game to play, board game, video game, computer game?1) http://www.ea.com/
2) http://blog.parentbloggers.com/
This post is part of a weekend blog blast sponsored by Parent Bloggers and Electronic Arts.
This post is part of a weekend blog blast sponsored by Parent Bloggers and Electronic Arts.
Here’s how to participate:
Write a post on your blog about the games you play at family holiday gatherings. Post anytime this weekend -Friday, December 5 to Sunday, December 7 and include links to:
1) http://www.ea.com
Write a post on your blog about the games you play at family holiday gatherings. Post anytime this weekend -Friday, December 5 to Sunday, December 7 and include links to:
1) http://www.ea.com
Make sure to send your blog post link to parentbloggers@gmail.com and we’ll round them up here at PBN - so give your post a creative title!
12.03.2008
The Perfect Gift
No surprise when I tell you that I love Christmas and gift buying. It is not so much just the joy of shopping but of finding something that the recipient really wanted/needed that they may or may not have asked for. I keep a small notebook in my purse and write things down throughout the year and of course ask. Some people are super easy (mom, sister, and kids) and others are really hard (hubs, dad, and FIL). Even though hubs swears he doesn't read this blog I am not taking any chances by spoiling the surprise here but let me just say that I had something made that he is going to love b/c it is hilarious. I am not sure who will enjoy it more...him or the nurses on his labor floor and clinic. I have been desperately trying to buy a rare set of OZ books that he has wanted forever but have not been able to find anything in my price range. If you know anyone that has something like that for sale please send me their way. Otherwise he gets a few things that he needs and a couple more fun things (games, accessories for his new iPhone, etc).
I have found super great ideas for everyone except my two BIL's and brother. I hate giving gift cards b/c they seem so impersonal but have resolved myself into understanding that some people just want to shop for myself. I am having a hard time making a decision as to what to ask for for myself. Nothing to expensive and something practical....usually something for the kitchen or to wear.
The kids are super easy this year b/c they are really into toys and presents. I am excited because this year they are excited too. Emily's top choices are the American Girl Bitty twins and a stroller with two seats. I know, I know I can't believe we are starting this obsession this early either buy hey at least the American Girl dolls are characters that I think are good role models. She also wants the cupcake maker which was really funny. She saw the commercial and about passed out she was so excited trying to get me to watch it. Palmer is all boy and is into cars/racetracks, Thomas the Train, and dinosaurs. I have had a hard time finding something that is age appropriate for him. Most things say 3 and older but I can't figure out why. He also has a bday around the corner so I always have to leave a few things for him to get then as well.
Bret actually does a pretty good job getting me somethings that I want along with some things he thinks I will like. Before I met him I totally would have preferred to pick out exactly what I was going to get. I gave lists that were super specific (aka catalogs with circles, emails with links, etc). He did not like this and would try to balance a couple of those things with things he picked out. Now I have started to really enjoy that. I think it means a lot that he thinks about what I would like and tries to get those things. Funny, last year we bought each other the exact same game even though neither of asked for it.
Emily is starting to reach the age of understanding things beside getting presents and Santa. I am going to take her shopping to get something for her dad and Palmer. We are also going to buy presents for the Catholic Charities and talk about giving to those who don't have as much. She is very giving and I think this will make her feel good too.
Besides the shopping and holiday music that I listen to non-stop I also have a huge Christmas candy making and holiday baking weekend. Stay tuned for some of my favorite recipes and pictures of the kids decorating cookies. I always give baskets for hubs' work departments, my office, teachers, neighbors, etc.
I have found super great ideas for everyone except my two BIL's and brother. I hate giving gift cards b/c they seem so impersonal but have resolved myself into understanding that some people just want to shop for myself. I am having a hard time making a decision as to what to ask for for myself. Nothing to expensive and something practical....usually something for the kitchen or to wear.
The kids are super easy this year b/c they are really into toys and presents. I am excited because this year they are excited too. Emily's top choices are the American Girl Bitty twins and a stroller with two seats. I know, I know I can't believe we are starting this obsession this early either buy hey at least the American Girl dolls are characters that I think are good role models. She also wants the cupcake maker which was really funny. She saw the commercial and about passed out she was so excited trying to get me to watch it. Palmer is all boy and is into cars/racetracks, Thomas the Train, and dinosaurs. I have had a hard time finding something that is age appropriate for him. Most things say 3 and older but I can't figure out why. He also has a bday around the corner so I always have to leave a few things for him to get then as well.
Bret actually does a pretty good job getting me somethings that I want along with some things he thinks I will like. Before I met him I totally would have preferred to pick out exactly what I was going to get. I gave lists that were super specific (aka catalogs with circles, emails with links, etc). He did not like this and would try to balance a couple of those things with things he picked out. Now I have started to really enjoy that. I think it means a lot that he thinks about what I would like and tries to get those things. Funny, last year we bought each other the exact same game even though neither of asked for it.
Emily is starting to reach the age of understanding things beside getting presents and Santa. I am going to take her shopping to get something for her dad and Palmer. We are also going to buy presents for the Catholic Charities and talk about giving to those who don't have as much. She is very giving and I think this will make her feel good too.
Besides the shopping and holiday music that I listen to non-stop I also have a huge Christmas candy making and holiday baking weekend. Stay tuned for some of my favorite recipes and pictures of the kids decorating cookies. I always give baskets for hubs' work departments, my office, teachers, neighbors, etc.
11.26.2008
What Grandparents are Made For
All bad history aside it was great to see how excited my kids were to see their grandparents last night. Their plane came in on time and we managed to fight the Philly holiday chaos without too much trouble. Both kids were ecstatic to see their grandparents and had many plans for them too.
This week one of the attending physicians gave Emily the biggest gingerbread house kits I have ever seen. She was so excited to put it together that I thought she would savagely rip it open right there. Instead she decided that her grandmother would be the perfect choice to help with this project. Hubs and I couldn't agree more. Who if not grandma could have the patience to help a four year old build something that is deemed challenging for most adults. Besides this fun fun project Emily has mentioned making cookies, going for walks, meeting her teachers and friends at school, watching movies, playing with her dolls, playing with Lulu (our bunny), and reading an endless number of books. This is just for today. Even though Bret and I tried to keep the kids quite and still this early morning to let his parents get just a few more moments of sleep it was a fruitless task. The moment Palmer was free he and Emily literally ran for their room and was in their bed discussing the list of fun things to do today while his parents were still trying to figure out whose cold feet where wiggling into the covers. I don't think they knew what hit them let alone what they were in for. Emily was over joyed when she found out that both Bret and I were working today and that they would have their grandparents all to themselves for the day.
I laugh even as I write this post because I love to see the mutual excitement in both my children and Bret's parents. They are amazed at how much the children have grown and at how excited they are to see them. I also laugh because I remember this joy with my own grandparents. My sister and I were always in bed with my grandfather first thing in the morning. We used every bribe imaginable to get him up (coffee, bacon, helping with his socks and shoes) and he would patiently entertain our endless amount of excited chatter (where did you think Emily got her love of the English language from). Grandma let us help with everything. We got to pour the pancake batter, cut out the cookies and lick the spoon. Grandma had fun projects to keep us busy and grandpa always had surprises. He would take us into town and buy us a big bag of candy from the little one room grocery store. Grandma would send us off with warnings about not spoiling our supper so GP would graciously hide the wrappers in his pocket. On holidays GP would spend the day sitting on a chair in the kitchen managing the workers once he got to old to cook himself. He would taste everything and it always needed a little bit more salt. GM would work herself ragged and had made us girls little aprons to make us feel important. These memories I will treasure always and it makes me miss them both so much.
I am truly thankful that my kids get to make the same priceless memories with their grandparents that both Bret and I got to have with ours. I will try and post pictures of the famous gingerbread house when I get a chance. In the meantime stay tuned for my very important BF update as I will be listing the website I most frequently use and my list of the best of 2008 deals. Cheers!
This week one of the attending physicians gave Emily the biggest gingerbread house kits I have ever seen. She was so excited to put it together that I thought she would savagely rip it open right there. Instead she decided that her grandmother would be the perfect choice to help with this project. Hubs and I couldn't agree more. Who if not grandma could have the patience to help a four year old build something that is deemed challenging for most adults. Besides this fun fun project Emily has mentioned making cookies, going for walks, meeting her teachers and friends at school, watching movies, playing with her dolls, playing with Lulu (our bunny), and reading an endless number of books. This is just for today. Even though Bret and I tried to keep the kids quite and still this early morning to let his parents get just a few more moments of sleep it was a fruitless task. The moment Palmer was free he and Emily literally ran for their room and was in their bed discussing the list of fun things to do today while his parents were still trying to figure out whose cold feet where wiggling into the covers. I don't think they knew what hit them let alone what they were in for. Emily was over joyed when she found out that both Bret and I were working today and that they would have their grandparents all to themselves for the day.
I laugh even as I write this post because I love to see the mutual excitement in both my children and Bret's parents. They are amazed at how much the children have grown and at how excited they are to see them. I also laugh because I remember this joy with my own grandparents. My sister and I were always in bed with my grandfather first thing in the morning. We used every bribe imaginable to get him up (coffee, bacon, helping with his socks and shoes) and he would patiently entertain our endless amount of excited chatter (where did you think Emily got her love of the English language from). Grandma let us help with everything. We got to pour the pancake batter, cut out the cookies and lick the spoon. Grandma had fun projects to keep us busy and grandpa always had surprises. He would take us into town and buy us a big bag of candy from the little one room grocery store. Grandma would send us off with warnings about not spoiling our supper so GP would graciously hide the wrappers in his pocket. On holidays GP would spend the day sitting on a chair in the kitchen managing the workers once he got to old to cook himself. He would taste everything and it always needed a little bit more salt. GM would work herself ragged and had made us girls little aprons to make us feel important. These memories I will treasure always and it makes me miss them both so much.
I am truly thankful that my kids get to make the same priceless memories with their grandparents that both Bret and I got to have with ours. I will try and post pictures of the famous gingerbread house when I get a chance. In the meantime stay tuned for my very important BF update as I will be listing the website I most frequently use and my list of the best of 2008 deals. Cheers!
11.21.2008
we are family....I got all my...
Family. I think that when you say your wedding vows your parents should have vows that they have to say to.
"I MIL & FIL take you DIL/SIL as one of our own. I promise to remember your birthday and invite you to holiday gatherings. I promise to offer support while not judging. I promise to never broach the topics of money, sex, and how you raise your children. I promise to love those children and spoil them rotten. As long as you both are married."
My in-laws come into town on Tuesday (my birthday) and will be staying with us for a week. I am genuinely glad that they are coming. They came a little less than a year ago for a long weekend. While I thought the trip went fine I think they thought otherwise. While there were here I took them to the mall to shop. While there I suddenly started to feel very bad. (I think I mentioned this situation in a previous post) I broke out into the worst case of hives that I have ever had. I ended up having to take steroids to get rid of them. My entire body was covered and swollen and I was miserable. Although most commonly they come from an allergic reaction they can sometimes be caused by stress. We had not changed anything in our laundry care, etc so who knows what it was. My MIL swears that it was them visiting that caused the episode. Most likely I was allergic to something they were wearing or using. Either way there is some concern about this trip. However, as I have pointed out I am working now (not home with them all day) and we have a lot planned this time.
We spent last Thanksgiving with our new closest friends here and it was wonderful. We cooked a feast for 20 even though there were four adults and two kids and ate until we were ill. It was quiet but very nice. This year these close friends are expecting their first baby on.....my birthday. As my own private in house resident has informed me, less than 10% of women actually deliver on their due dates. I am still hopeful to share my date with a new little one. So far so good as she has not delivered yet. Because of her condition and the timing of everything all of their family is coming here for the holidays so spending a quiet holiday with them is kind of out. Besides my MIL is a fabulous cook and I am happy that she is going to help cook.
In the ten years that I have known my MIL we have come a long way. Our relationship has grown over time into one of respect and warm regards. We are not anywhere close to BFF nor do I carry illusions of this ever having. I have a mom and she has a daughter...we are good in that regard. I think that the struggle we have both have is one of finding our role. She has always been the mom. She cooked for her family, planned the holidays, and made the decisions. I came into her life and changed that dynamic.
Bret and I have always marched to our own beat and never asked for opinions, advice, or even help. That said we got married very young, had our first child two months after we were married a year (she was weeks early), bought our house right away, and then had a second child before Bret was out of med school. These things were not what anyone else thought was right for us and those thoughts were never really kept quiet or from us. It hurt my feelings that people thought we should have waited to get married or have children. I just wanted them to be excited and happy for us. I won't go into the ugly things that happened (I will save that for my anonymous blog) but let's just say it took a lot of time for me to forgive and I am still working on the forgetting part.
The one thing I have learned is that although it always takes them longer than I had hoped they ALWAYS come around. My MIL was there for me when my mom was in the hospital the entire week before our wedding. She stayed in the hospital with me when I was pregnant with Emily, scared to death, and Bret was 16 hours away. She cried with me when I packed up everything I owned and said goodbye to everything and everyone I had every known to go to a place that seemed so foreign and far way with my two little babies. She is the best grandmother I could have ever asked for to my kids and she would do anything to help her own kids.
I am sure that when we have another child it will still be too soon for them (no that is not an announcement, I promise you will one of the first to know) and we will make other decisions that they will not agree with. I am also sure they will let us know that they disagree. In the mean time I am happy that the kids will get to spend some time with the grandparents, we will get the best homemade bread and pies ever, and we will be with family for this holiday to give thanks for all that is good. She has also promised to go BF shopping with me and hold a spot in line. Now that is true love.
"I MIL & FIL take you DIL/SIL as one of our own. I promise to remember your birthday and invite you to holiday gatherings. I promise to offer support while not judging. I promise to never broach the topics of money, sex, and how you raise your children. I promise to love those children and spoil them rotten. As long as you both are married."
My in-laws come into town on Tuesday (my birthday) and will be staying with us for a week. I am genuinely glad that they are coming. They came a little less than a year ago for a long weekend. While I thought the trip went fine I think they thought otherwise. While there were here I took them to the mall to shop. While there I suddenly started to feel very bad. (I think I mentioned this situation in a previous post) I broke out into the worst case of hives that I have ever had. I ended up having to take steroids to get rid of them. My entire body was covered and swollen and I was miserable. Although most commonly they come from an allergic reaction they can sometimes be caused by stress. We had not changed anything in our laundry care, etc so who knows what it was. My MIL swears that it was them visiting that caused the episode. Most likely I was allergic to something they were wearing or using. Either way there is some concern about this trip. However, as I have pointed out I am working now (not home with them all day) and we have a lot planned this time.
We spent last Thanksgiving with our new closest friends here and it was wonderful. We cooked a feast for 20 even though there were four adults and two kids and ate until we were ill. It was quiet but very nice. This year these close friends are expecting their first baby on.....my birthday. As my own private in house resident has informed me, less than 10% of women actually deliver on their due dates. I am still hopeful to share my date with a new little one. So far so good as she has not delivered yet. Because of her condition and the timing of everything all of their family is coming here for the holidays so spending a quiet holiday with them is kind of out. Besides my MIL is a fabulous cook and I am happy that she is going to help cook.
In the ten years that I have known my MIL we have come a long way. Our relationship has grown over time into one of respect and warm regards. We are not anywhere close to BFF nor do I carry illusions of this ever having. I have a mom and she has a daughter...we are good in that regard. I think that the struggle we have both have is one of finding our role. She has always been the mom. She cooked for her family, planned the holidays, and made the decisions. I came into her life and changed that dynamic.
Bret and I have always marched to our own beat and never asked for opinions, advice, or even help. That said we got married very young, had our first child two months after we were married a year (she was weeks early), bought our house right away, and then had a second child before Bret was out of med school. These things were not what anyone else thought was right for us and those thoughts were never really kept quiet or from us. It hurt my feelings that people thought we should have waited to get married or have children. I just wanted them to be excited and happy for us. I won't go into the ugly things that happened (I will save that for my anonymous blog) but let's just say it took a lot of time for me to forgive and I am still working on the forgetting part.
The one thing I have learned is that although it always takes them longer than I had hoped they ALWAYS come around. My MIL was there for me when my mom was in the hospital the entire week before our wedding. She stayed in the hospital with me when I was pregnant with Emily, scared to death, and Bret was 16 hours away. She cried with me when I packed up everything I owned and said goodbye to everything and everyone I had every known to go to a place that seemed so foreign and far way with my two little babies. She is the best grandmother I could have ever asked for to my kids and she would do anything to help her own kids.
I am sure that when we have another child it will still be too soon for them (no that is not an announcement, I promise you will one of the first to know) and we will make other decisions that they will not agree with. I am also sure they will let us know that they disagree. In the mean time I am happy that the kids will get to spend some time with the grandparents, we will get the best homemade bread and pies ever, and we will be with family for this holiday to give thanks for all that is good. She has also promised to go BF shopping with me and hold a spot in line. Now that is true love.
11.18.2008
You too can spark!
I got an email the other day from cousin that told me about a new website that I am totally obsessed with. The website is www.sparkpeople.com This is a website that is committed to helping you achieve your weight loss goals and maintain a healthy lifestyle. What is so refreshing about this site is that it really seems to want to help you succeed with no strings attached. IT. IS. TOTALLY. FREE. There is no trial membership, no partial free stuff and the rest you have to pay for. Not only is it free (I know I could just stop there) but it is really one of the best sites I have ever used.
The found says that he and his wife were some of the founders of eBay and decided that since they could afford to retire early they wanted to help people get healthy. The site is very user friendly and has a lot of cool stuff. It is set up similar to weight watchers except instead of points you have a food journal, exercise log, etc. You set up your own page and can blog about your struggles. They have teams with similar goals/interests for you to join and people are generally very friendly. It is kind of like facebook in that you have profile pictures and buddies to join you on this adventure.
My favorite part is the spark points. They have several ways everyday that you can earn spark points. You get points for logging in daily, putting information in your journals, reading articles, playing games, etc. Then with your spark points you can buy things. You can send someone a high five, buy yourself a pretend massage, etc. SO. MUCH. FUN. I become obsessed with getting my daily quota of points and I learn stuff about how to maintain a healthy lifestyle while I'm at it. Did I mention that it is free?
OK, so the reason I really decided to blog about this site is more than just sharing my new found joy. In my reading of articles for spark points I found an article that really hit home (more like scared the crap out of me). The article asked if your friends made you fat. I laughed at the title but upon reading it I found that if your friends are overweight or are gaining weight you are 76% more likely to gain weight also. If your friends are losing weight you are 46% more likely to lose weight and here is the one that did for me...people who try to lose weight with a support network or with close friends are 66% more likely to be successful. So there you have it...all of my blog readers are now encouraged by me to join me in this weight loss/healthy lifestyle endeavor. This way we call all be more successful together. Now I know you think I am crazy for starting this right before the holidays but here came another article I read (btw I don't quote my stats so believe them or not that isn't the point).
This article talked about how important it was to journal your food intake and exercise. You are more likely to eat less when you have to write it down and you are more likely to exercise more when you record the numbers. This totally makes sense for me. So my plan until after the holidays is simple write it down. I am making no grandeur attempt to curve my diet or up my exercise routines I am just committing to writing it down. I am hopeful that this will encourage me to continue paying attention to what I am eating and how much I am working out but I am not going to worry about it. So join me! (or don't..no pressure) My user name is ksmomma42 and I look forward to seeing at least a few of you on there.
The found says that he and his wife were some of the founders of eBay and decided that since they could afford to retire early they wanted to help people get healthy. The site is very user friendly and has a lot of cool stuff. It is set up similar to weight watchers except instead of points you have a food journal, exercise log, etc. You set up your own page and can blog about your struggles. They have teams with similar goals/interests for you to join and people are generally very friendly. It is kind of like facebook in that you have profile pictures and buddies to join you on this adventure.
My favorite part is the spark points. They have several ways everyday that you can earn spark points. You get points for logging in daily, putting information in your journals, reading articles, playing games, etc. Then with your spark points you can buy things. You can send someone a high five, buy yourself a pretend massage, etc. SO. MUCH. FUN. I become obsessed with getting my daily quota of points and I learn stuff about how to maintain a healthy lifestyle while I'm at it. Did I mention that it is free?
OK, so the reason I really decided to blog about this site is more than just sharing my new found joy. In my reading of articles for spark points I found an article that really hit home (more like scared the crap out of me). The article asked if your friends made you fat. I laughed at the title but upon reading it I found that if your friends are overweight or are gaining weight you are 76% more likely to gain weight also. If your friends are losing weight you are 46% more likely to lose weight and here is the one that did for me...people who try to lose weight with a support network or with close friends are 66% more likely to be successful. So there you have it...all of my blog readers are now encouraged by me to join me in this weight loss/healthy lifestyle endeavor. This way we call all be more successful together. Now I know you think I am crazy for starting this right before the holidays but here came another article I read (btw I don't quote my stats so believe them or not that isn't the point).
This article talked about how important it was to journal your food intake and exercise. You are more likely to eat less when you have to write it down and you are more likely to exercise more when you record the numbers. This totally makes sense for me. So my plan until after the holidays is simple write it down. I am making no grandeur attempt to curve my diet or up my exercise routines I am just committing to writing it down. I am hopeful that this will encourage me to continue paying attention to what I am eating and how much I am working out but I am not going to worry about it. So join me! (or don't..no pressure) My user name is ksmomma42 and I look forward to seeing at least a few of you on there.
10.21.2008
No place like home
I preface this entry by writing that I enjoy going home because I get to see our family and friends. That and the few places to eat that are not available in PA are the only things I enjoy about going back to KS.
There is never enough time to see everyone and no one is ever happy about that. We literally run from one get together to another and try to squeeze in seeing everyone possible. This becomes very stressful and an emotional roller coaster.
This trip was no different in fact even harder than most trips home. We try to go home for at least a week so that we are not running around like crazy as much. This trip was on the heals of our Disney adventure and right before the holidays...not ideal but there was a wedding that we couldn't miss. So out of the four days we were back for 1 was spent with the wedding.
I don't know that I have mentioned this before but my parents are getting a divorce after almost 30 years of marriage. They have been separated for several months and although I think the divorce is going to be a good thing for them it took 30 years to create this life of theirs together it is inevitable that pulling it apart will be difficult and unavoidably ugly. More in a later post.
This was our first trip home since they have officially separated and I will be the first to admit it was really hard. There was not going to be very much time to spend with my side of the family and now that time was split in two again. My dad has had a difficult time keeping up with the house on his own so it was in shambles and not a good idea to stay there. So we stayed one night with my mom at my aunt's house and two nights at two different hotels.
On an up note Emily did a great job as a flower girl and Bret was a dashing usher. On Friday night after the rehearsal dinner we went to the casino and stayed in the hotel using my mom's player club points with some close friends from Wichita. My mom stayed and babysat all 5 kids while we went and played for a while. Besides the wedding this was the highlight of the trip. We really miss these friends and it was a reminder why they were our closest friends. Out of everyone we go home to visit I can honestly say that without a doubt the work the hardest to see us and never complain. Their attitude is just tell us when and where even if it means that they have to drive hours to visit us even for just a dinner together at Old Chicago's. I hope that they come visit soon.
Sometimes it frustrates me that our family has a hard time making it out to see us once a year. There isn't time off from work, it costs too much, etc. There is only one or two of them and there are four of us. Yet we can make it home 3 or 4 times a year. We take the time off and pay for it ourselves. I bring this up because Bret and I have seriously contemplated not going home for Christmas this year. Bret has to work the week of Christmas but gets the 10 days off over New Year's. After pricing airline tickets we would probably have to drive home. I think his sister and her fiancee are coming for Christmas even though he is working for part of the week. We are going back to KS for a week in June for their wedding. We are so torn here. There are so many pros and cons for either decision that we don't know what to do. I know that not going would be really hard for our family but I don't think they have any idea how hard going home is for us. Stay tuned as we are far from a decision.
There is never enough time to see everyone and no one is ever happy about that. We literally run from one get together to another and try to squeeze in seeing everyone possible. This becomes very stressful and an emotional roller coaster.
This trip was no different in fact even harder than most trips home. We try to go home for at least a week so that we are not running around like crazy as much. This trip was on the heals of our Disney adventure and right before the holidays...not ideal but there was a wedding that we couldn't miss. So out of the four days we were back for 1 was spent with the wedding.
I don't know that I have mentioned this before but my parents are getting a divorce after almost 30 years of marriage. They have been separated for several months and although I think the divorce is going to be a good thing for them it took 30 years to create this life of theirs together it is inevitable that pulling it apart will be difficult and unavoidably ugly. More in a later post.
This was our first trip home since they have officially separated and I will be the first to admit it was really hard. There was not going to be very much time to spend with my side of the family and now that time was split in two again. My dad has had a difficult time keeping up with the house on his own so it was in shambles and not a good idea to stay there. So we stayed one night with my mom at my aunt's house and two nights at two different hotels.
On an up note Emily did a great job as a flower girl and Bret was a dashing usher. On Friday night after the rehearsal dinner we went to the casino and stayed in the hotel using my mom's player club points with some close friends from Wichita. My mom stayed and babysat all 5 kids while we went and played for a while. Besides the wedding this was the highlight of the trip. We really miss these friends and it was a reminder why they were our closest friends. Out of everyone we go home to visit I can honestly say that without a doubt the work the hardest to see us and never complain. Their attitude is just tell us when and where even if it means that they have to drive hours to visit us even for just a dinner together at Old Chicago's. I hope that they come visit soon.
Sometimes it frustrates me that our family has a hard time making it out to see us once a year. There isn't time off from work, it costs too much, etc. There is only one or two of them and there are four of us. Yet we can make it home 3 or 4 times a year. We take the time off and pay for it ourselves. I bring this up because Bret and I have seriously contemplated not going home for Christmas this year. Bret has to work the week of Christmas but gets the 10 days off over New Year's. After pricing airline tickets we would probably have to drive home. I think his sister and her fiancee are coming for Christmas even though he is working for part of the week. We are going back to KS for a week in June for their wedding. We are so torn here. There are so many pros and cons for either decision that we don't know what to do. I know that not going would be really hard for our family but I don't think they have any idea how hard going home is for us. Stay tuned as we are far from a decision.
10.06.2008
The Most Magical Place on Earth
We are back from our vacation to Disney World and I have to say that Disney lived up to it's infamouse reputation. We met the characters, saw the shows, rode the rides, and waived at the parades. Although trying to squeeze everything into four days was a lot we enjoyed every minute and made a lifetime of memories too.
My all time favorite moment of the week was when Emily first met some of the princesses. The look on her face was priceless and hard for me to even begin to describe. She is at an age that these really are the people she has watched, played with dolls of, and loved for a while now. She new everyone's name and all about "their story". They too were everything she could have hoped for. They were magical, beautiful, and very sweet. The thing that amazed me was that although there was a line waiting to see them they took their time and talked to the kids, took a ton of pictures with them, they held Palmer, and danced with Emily. Those five minutes totally revolved around the child right in front of them and no one else existed at that moment. Palmer had a thing for red heads and fell head over heels in love with Aerial. She plopped a big lipstick full kiss on his check and you would have thought he had died and went to heaven.
Bret and I got to ride the rides and found that they two were a load of fun. This was the perfect time of year to go. There was no rain, it wasn't too hot, and the parks were pretty empty. The longest ride we waited in was 15 minutes and that was only once or twice.
The worst moment of the trip was when we lost Emily. We left a big show and headed for a bench on the parade route. It took about 10 minutes max to reach the bench and when we did we realized that Emily was no where to be found. I ran back to the last show we were at and started to panic because she was no where to be found. I turned to go towards the nearest employee and found Emily standing next to that employee who was on the phone. Emily was scared but not crying. The employee told me that I had a very bright young lady. Emily went straight to that lady and told her that her name was Emily Heskett and she couldn't find her mommy and daddy. She also told the lady our names and that she is from PA. I don't remember having a conversation with Emily about what to do if we were seperated.
Panic moment aside everything went really well and we had a perfect trip. We are here for about a week and half and then off to KS we go.
My all time favorite moment of the week was when Emily first met some of the princesses. The look on her face was priceless and hard for me to even begin to describe. She is at an age that these really are the people she has watched, played with dolls of, and loved for a while now. She new everyone's name and all about "their story". They too were everything she could have hoped for. They were magical, beautiful, and very sweet. The thing that amazed me was that although there was a line waiting to see them they took their time and talked to the kids, took a ton of pictures with them, they held Palmer, and danced with Emily. Those five minutes totally revolved around the child right in front of them and no one else existed at that moment. Palmer had a thing for red heads and fell head over heels in love with Aerial. She plopped a big lipstick full kiss on his check and you would have thought he had died and went to heaven.Bret and I got to ride the rides and found that they two were a load of fun. This was the perfect time of year to go. There was no rain, it wasn't too hot, and the parks were pretty empty. The longest ride we waited in was 15 minutes and that was only once or twice.
The worst moment of the trip was when we lost Emily. We left a big show and headed for a bench on the parade route. It took about 10 minutes max to reach the bench and when we did we realized that Emily was no where to be found. I ran back to the last show we were at and started to panic because she was no where to be found. I turned to go towards the nearest employee and found Emily standing next to that employee who was on the phone. Emily was scared but not crying. The employee told me that I had a very bright young lady. Emily went straight to that lady and told her that her name was Emily Heskett and she couldn't find her mommy and daddy. She also told the lady our names and that she is from PA. I don't remember having a conversation with Emily about what to do if we were seperated.
Panic moment aside everything went really well and we had a perfect trip. We are here for about a week and half and then off to KS we go.
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