Rock On

Little known fact. When Rock Band first came out Bret and I were on the wait list to get it for the PS3. Not only were we the first to buy the game we were also ranked in the top 100 nationwide for points. Yep hubs and I were unstoppable.

In case you didn't know Rock Band is similar to Guitar Hero only it has a drum set and mike in addition to the guitar. It is really fun game to play by yourself, with a group of people, or just the two of us. We have not played the game in AGES. We have gotten it out a few times when we had people over and when Bret's sister and her fiance were in town for Christmas they played it quite a bit. Last night when I got home from work I walked in to find Bret having a good 'ole time playing the drums. The kids love the games too and I am amazed how they are really not too bad. Emily can keep a pretty good beat and Palmer is good with colors. So instead of doing any of the million things that need to be done before we leave for KS tomorrow we rocked on with the impending threat from mom that tomorrow we have all got to chip in to get stuff done.

I laid awake most of the night making lists in my head. Lists of what to pack, what to buy, and what needs to be done. It will get done...some how.

And the Little One Said "Roll Over"

My conversation with Emily last night at bedtime:

Emily: Mommy I don't want to go to bed. What if I have a bad dream?

Me: Em, you will be fine there is nothing to be afraid of. Besides, Palmer will protect you.

Emily: Mommy, can I sleep with you?

Me: NO. But you can crawl down and sleep with Palmer after he falls asleep if you have a bad dream but don't wake him up.

Emily: Mommy, I don't want to sleep with Palmer because he snores.

Me: (stifling my laughter because this is serious talk) Em you don't want to sleep with me then because daddy snores really loud..a lot louder than Palmer.

Emily: (Cracking up hysterically) When Palmer snores in my ear I push him gently and then he rolls over and stops. (Still laughing)

Me: (also cracking up) Huh, that's what I do with daddy too.

The boys have no idea why we are laughing. It's true that girls speak a different language.

Sprite, Saltines, and Mommy's Love

We had a very long night last night. Emily got up several times and told me that she had a bad dream and didn't feel good. Finally a couple of hours before the alarm went off so did her tummy.

The weather has been not so good here and so I was not that disappointed to have the day to spend with her making her feel better. So far today we have had crackers, Sprite, and lots of TLC. I can tell that Em feels pretty bad because with a whole day of mommy to herself (we took brother to school) all she has wanted to do was lay on the couch and watch movies. So we sit in our comfy stay home clothes and snooze in and out of naps as we watch the princess' we love get the men of their dreams. On the agenda for the afternoon is some finger nail painting (not sure if we will go with pink or purple today), maybe another movie, reading some books, and if we really are feeling better maybe a couple of board games.

When I was a kid my mom made this special soup that is a broth I have never ventured to make and let me lay in bed as long as I wanted to. She would rub my back and make sure that I had everything I needed to get better. Even as a child the one thing that I always kept close to my side were my books. Nothing says get better soon to me then spending the day in the world of someone else as I lose myself in the pages. What did your mom/dad/whoever do to make you feel better when you stayed home sick?

Remember that you are dust,

And to dust you shall return.

This is the line that the priest uses when he marks your forehead in the sign of a cross with ashes on Ash Wednesday. The ashes are from the burned palms of Palm Sunday from last year.

So begins the new season of Lent this year. Bret and I are not the most religious people. I can list on one hand the number of scriptures I can quote from memory (not sure I could even come up with more than one). However we try. We got to church on Sundays and holy days of obligation, Emily goes to Sunday school, we volunteer, we tithe, and we observe most of the traditions of our faith. The Catholics are renowned for their dogma and I must admit that there are a few of those that we may on occasion overlook (for the record I have read our holy father Pope John Paul's book The Body and I have to tell you that I am still not convinced when it comes to birth control, spilling a man's seed, etc etc).

So as part of our traditions I try not to snack in between meals, we don't eat meat on Ash Wednesday or Fridays, I am going to go to confession, and I have decided to commit to something and give something up.

The things that I (and Bret because we agreed to work together on this) are going to work to spend more one on one time with each of our kids. Our plan is to take an hour each day after dinner and before bed time and spend it with one kid alone. So tonight is Emily and mommy time and daddy with Palmer time. We want to use this time to work with them on some learning skills too. I got the kids new flash cards, work books, and some fun activities to play too. It can be anything from making cookies, playing a video game together, playing a board game, playing dolls/cars, or just going for a walk. On the surface it sounds like something that we should have already been doing but it is harder than it sounds. Evening in our house is some what hectic and chaotic. We get home, fix dinner, eat, usually watch TV, take a bath, read a book, and then off to bed. Bret and I are exhausted in the evenings and I will be the first to admit that it easier to let the TV entertain the kids than for us to do something. The other part of this is one on one time. I think it's important for the kids to spend time alone with one parent. I also plan to commit to calling my grandmother more often. Again something I should be doing but is hard to find the time for.

As for what I am going to give up...I am giving up sleeping in late. I realized that in the mornings I tend to sleep as LONG as possible and then run around with my head cut off trying to get us out the door on time. My plan is to get up at a set time everyday and use that morning time productively. I may do a yoga video, go for a run, or make something for breakfast for the kids (not that there is anything wrong with cereal, pop tarts, or granola bars). Sleeping in has been me being selfish and wanting that extra time to sleep but also in the evenings when I stay up too late to. So we shall see how it goes. Are you giving anything up for lent?

Look beyond the screaming child

We had a rough morning today. I mean ROUGH. I was definitely not ready for that when I got out of the shower in a good mood b/c it's Friday. Emily just woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. From the first moment I talked to her it was whining, crying, and the worst talking back I have seen to date.

She didn't want to brush her teeth, she threw a fit that she had to wear jeans today, then it wasn't the right headband, and finally I'm sorry you can't have a granola bar because we are out of them but here is a strawberry frosted poptart instead (for a moment there I thought she was going to throw it at me and I am not sure what I would have done b/c time out might not have cut it). She went to bed early last night and woke up at a decent time this morning. WTF?!?

Then it hit me. She went to bed early last night. Emily never goes to bed early...unless...she doesn't feel good. Kids don't always understand what is going on with themselves. They don't have experience to tell them that they are in a terrible mood or grumpy because they feel like crap. Unless they are throwing up or even just that their stomach hurts, it's sometimes hard to identify what is really going on.

I took her temperature and looked down her throat. Everything seemed OK but I bet by the end of the weekend what has been going around her school and my work will show it's face in my little girl. So there you have it..my "aha" moment that I would like to think shows that I am gaining experience in the mom department. It's funny how when I finally figured out why she was being a holy terror I felt bad for her rather than frustrated with her. I don't think kids (at least at this age) try to be "bad". They just don't know what else to do.

What I wish someone would have told me

So my dear friend Matt is going to be a dad in less than a week. He and his wife moved here recently and have not met a lot of people and don't have any family living in the area. On top of that they are having twins....Monday. As a new dad to be, Matt has expressed his fear of being a father and being able to survive parenthood. Although I was much younger (over 10 years) when I was going through this anxiety for this first time I think that there are some things that I had to figure out the hard way that I wish someone would have told me. So for that reason (and because I love to make fun lists) I have listed the top 10 things that I wish someone would have told me before becoming a mother. So Matt, take it or leave it, here is my unsolicited advice and and my faithful 6 readers will probably have something to add as well :)

1. Babies are resilient. When you first hold your newborn you think that they are the most fragile thing that you could ever hold. While I don't think that you should swing it around like a doll or anything (and definitely don't shake it) we have to remember that they were just born. That means that they either squeezed their way through a pelvis and out a not so big hole or a doctor and team of nurses just cut a hole open through an abdomen and pulled them out. Either way they are not as fragile as you think. I was so scared when I had my first that I (or more likely someone else) was going to drop her, or accidentally hit her head on something, or her little legs would get hurt from holding them out of the way when I changed their diapers. I wish someone would have told me to relax babies are made with pliable bones that are virtually incapable of breaking and that your natural instincts will kick into gear and will protect the baby. So breath when other people want to hold your babies and relax. (BTW Emily did drop Palmer when he was 6 months old b/c she was trying to pick him up and then worried that she would get caught so she just let him go...he was fine)

2. Since you have a girl and a boy I thought you should know that from birth they are completely different creatures. Watch out for the little sprinkler and be prepared for totally different personalities. There is something to said about boys being boys. Palmer has had a concussion, stitches, and a chipped tooth. He is only two. Emily faints if she gets a paper cut and lets hope she never sees blood. Even friends with twins say that the two couldn't be more different. Celebrate their differences.

3. Exhaustion has a new meaning after becoming a parent. You thought you knew what it was like to be tired. Not so. The first few weeks after you have a baby takes you to a whole new level of running on fumes. I like to think of this as a rite of passage. We have all been there and are able to look back with warm memories of falling asleep at the dinner table. Good luck with that and if you figure out a way to lesson it I expect a 10% royalty of the millions you would make.

4. Worry is your new middle name. You never thought that how many wet diapers would be something to concern yourself with, did they burp, are they eating enough, have they pooped often enough, are they warm enough, is the car seat secure, did that person wash their hands, what if they got a cold, how is daycare going to go, are they eating enough, are they sleeping enough? Then you worry about friends, are they learning at the right pace, do they say enough words, are they safe? My mom claims that it doesn't end and that she still worries about me and on top of it my kids now to. So remember to focus on the now. I like that kids seem to come with a natural guide. In the beginning they start you out easy with basic life necessities...eat, diapers, and sleep. Gradually you grow to safety..don't put that in your mouth, don't stick your finger in that, etc. Then into social growth like don't bite your friend, share, be nice to people. I will let you know as we continue into the unknown how it is going. I suggest Yo Gabba-Gabba for help on these issues.

5. Kids should fit into your life not the other way around. Actually someone did tell me this when I was pregnant with Emily and it was the best piece of advice I ever got. She had told me that you will NEVER get your life back if you don't make it a point to help a child adjust to yours. What she meant by this was if the baby is sleeping and you need to vacuum...do it. If you start out tiptoeing around when they are sleeping you will forever have to be quiet. If instead you teach your children to sleep regardless of the noise you will be forever grateful. Remember to take time out for yourself and for time alone with Dana and find something to talk about other than the kids. OK, who am I kidding Bret and I have a hard time talking about anything else too but we still try. Besides I know where you can find free babysitting :)

6. Schedule, schedule, schedule. From eating to bed time, routine and schedule is your best friend. I am sure that I could even pull studies from somewhere that show that kids do better when they know what to expect and have a schedule. Some days it will feel like a burden but most days it will be a relief even for you to know what to expect.

7. Make your own family traditions. Bret and I both came from families that had all kinds of weird traditions. We took some of his and some of mine and the worked really hard to make some of our own. Birthdays are a great example. What did you do to make it special and what will you do with your own kids?

8. There is no right or wrong way to parent (OK maybe the crazy people who hurt or abuse their kids are wrong but for the most part). You have your kids best intentions at heart and that is all that matters. Everything else will work itself out and you will make the right choices and decisions. What worked for one parent may not work for anyone else either.

9. Parenting is the easiest job in the world...kind of. Your job as a parent is love your child and take care of them. Although it is the most demanding and hard work you will ever do it is the easiest. Loving your child from the first moment is a piece of cake. You already do. Taking care of them is the next most natural thing. You want to keep them safe, you want to provide the very best, you want them to be happy and healthy so doing it is just a matter of making it happen.

10. You get to be kid all over again only better. Things like Valentine's day, Halloween, Easter, swimming, going for walks, baking cookies, reading books, playing with cars or dolls, playing with playdoh, vacations, camping, and so many many more things are all new and you get to experience it for the first time through their eyes. There is no greater joy. The excitement and pride and memories are ecstasy.

Best wishes to you and Dana and don't forget that we are here and are willing/able to help.

Totally Awkward Tuesday's

As always if you would like to join in please see Tova's site for details.

Emily is almost five years old and I have been in some of the most awkward moments of my life due to her less than shy and extremely outgoing personality. I had a hard time trying to figure out which one to write about and most of them were pretty simple. At first glance you think "oh that's just cute" but when you are the mom you can feel the judgement pass on you from everyone involved. Even if it's a simple "kids will be kids but that mom should teach her better" mentality it still causes my easily flushed face to turn crimson. So here are couple of the fun moments that Emily has made me bite my tongue, hold back a laugh, walk the thin line of scolding in public and making it a teaching moment, make light of a situation so as not to hurt anyone's feelings, and some times just turn and run dragging her tail behind us.

We used to go to a library reading program and Emily decided to take her baby doll with her. I wasn't paying attention (I had Palmer with me too) until another mom asked Emily why she had her baby under her shirt. "She was hungry", Emily replied.

At the grocery store Emily went up to a shelf stocker and asked her what was in her nose. The goth dressed girl replied "It's an earring only in my nose". To that Emily said "WHY would you do that!?!" Talk about holding back laughter.

Emily once asked Bret's chief resident "When are you going to have that baby? It has been in your tummy a long long time". (She was never pregnant)

I can only guess what all the teachers at her school has heard about but I do know that one morning I was trying to get Emily to pay attention and hold her head still why I was fixing her hair and as I was dropping her off at school she told the teacher that I pulled her hair that morning because she wasn't listening. I got a look and I wasn't sure if it was "I understand" or "How could you".

We went to dinner one night with some new friends. NF asked Emily what does your daddy do? Emily replied "He works at the hospital and delivers babies. But he doesn't take care of the babies he takes care of the mommies." Other NF asked what does your mommy do? Emily had to think long and hard about this and her reply was "she does the dishes". No one really knew whether to laugh or say something to contract this child's view of the world. Bret felt really bad about this (I was staying home at the time) while I thought it was pretty funny. Needless to say that the next time I asked her hoping to get a laugh from our friends and she had been taught that mommy takes care of all of us. She reads stories, plays with us, and helps daddy a lot. What a good husband.

By far the most awkward moment my dear daughter has put me in was while I was pregnant with Palmer. This may be a TMI moment so please feel free to stop reading now. Emily and I went to the mall for the afternoon and ate at a fast food place in the food court. One of the lovely side affects of pregnancy was that I sometimes had to make a mad dash to the bathroom after a greasy meal. Since Emily and I were alone she had to come with me into the stall. I was not at all prepared for the commentary that she would then offer. "Oh YUCK mom", "whew", and on and on and in a very non-hushed tone too. I was HORRIFIED! I am sure that every woman in that restroom heard but I wasn't going to step out and find out. We sat in that stall with my hand over her mouth until I was sure that everyone was out of the bathroom. All though I was extremely embarrassed I also thought about the responses we gave when we changed her dirty diaper or (since we had started potty training not long before this) when she went in the big girl chair at home. We, like most parents, made it funny to make a big deal out of a stinky. Boy did that backfire.

So there you have it some of the joyous moments that a curious, friendly, and innocent little girl can put a poor mom through.

Dad's Turn

I had to work this past Saturday for part of the day. It's not that bad. We get fed breakfast and lunch and I get to meet with prospective students and parents who are interviewing for scholarships. I think it's good that I have to work sometimes on the weekends because it forces Bret to take care of the kids on his own.

When Emily was a baby I was finishing my MBA in night school while working full time. This meant that at least two nights a week Bret and tiny little Emily were on their own. Bret had to feed, change, and sometimes bathe a two month old baby. As a new mom I could see how easy it would be to do it all. You are so happy to be doing it for the first time that you lose sight of the fact that the responsibilities should be shared. You also forget that just because dad's do things differently doesn't mean it's wrong. I have seen friends criticize their husbands because they didn't change a diaper just as they would have or feed the baby the way that they normally do. The typical dad's response is "ok, I do it wrong so here you do it" and we do. Then a year down the road or even with the second child we get frustrated because we do everything and they don't help.

Because I was trying to do so much at one time I was forced to keep my mouth shut. I came home sometimes and Emily's dirty clothes would be in a bucket out on the porch b/c Bret couldn't deal with the poop that was seemingly everywhere. That was if the onesie made it to the bucket and not just the trash (he promised to replace it and argued that it wasn't worth the effort). He was a super messy feeder of baby food and didn't always remember a bib. He also didn't always remember that she needed to be changed into pajamas before bed because to him the comfy sleepers she was in looked fine to sleep in at night.

At the end of the day he took care of her in the best way he knew how and I appreciated it because it was the only way I was going to be able to do anything else. Last year I took some time off and stayed home with the kids and I noticed that I started to take on the majority of the household and child care responsibilities. To me it made sense that since staying home was now my job I would do things (like laundry, dishes, cleaning, baths, cooking, etc) more than him because he was working so much. When we decided that I would go back to work we joked that Bret would have the hardest time adjusting and he has. Although we don't argue a lot our biggest point of contention is him helping out more at home and with the kids. We are working on this.

So this past Saturday was interesting to say the least because it had been a long long time since he had to take both kids and manage for the day. It was made even more challenging because it wasn't just a stay at home and hang out type Saturday either. He had to take both kids to swim lessons, feed them lunch, pick up a birthday present, and take the kids to a skating birthday party. I felt bad for Bret because after swim lessons Palmer was exhausted and didn't want to be put down. That meant that Emily was on her own skating for the first time while he held Palmer. I got done early and went and met them at the rink and got to skate with Emily. It didn't bother Emily one bit but it bother Bret a lot. I felt bad but at the same time exactly what he was feeling. It is hard to juggle both kids especially at a birthday party. But such is life and you do what you have to do. After this we talked about maybe setting some time aside for one on one parent time for both of the kids. I think it is a great idea and could be a lot of fun.

What time is it?

I am so glad that last night was Dr. Heskett's last night of nights until next year. I have been having a really hard time sleeping at night and it has been kicking my butt lately. So per Dr. Heskett's advice I took a Tylenol PM a couple of nights ago and it totally knocked me on my ass. So last night I decided to try half a Tylenol PM thinking that it would be just enough to help me sleep soundly but not so much that I would not be able to get my butt out of bed in the morning.

So this morning seemed to come awfully early anyways. I don't remember hearing the alarm but standing in front of me crying is my two year old Palmer. I am beyond groggy trying to figure out why he is crying. Usually early in the morning he is crying because he wants something to eat. It is still REALLY dark outside and I really don't remember hearing the alarm go off but Emily is in the living room watching TV already. So I get up and start to head to the kitchen when I glance at the cable box. I have VERY poor eye sight and usually wear contacts during the day. I adjust my glasses because surely I did not just read that time right. I am still delirious. IT'S 2:30 IN THE MORNING!! WHAT?!?!

So I start yelling b/c I can't believe that I am up starting to get ready for the day and I should still be sleeping. We should all still be sleeping. Emily runs to her bed crying b/c I am the mean mommy who makes her sleep in the wee hours of the morning, and Palmer seems relieved and just flops down on his bed (most likely the reason he was crying to begin with). I go back to bed and am still dazed that we were all up at the butt crack of dawn. Needless to say 4 hours later I was kind of glad to be the mean mommy waking Emily back up. "Still tired" she dares to tell me. "Maybe you shouldn't have woken everyone up before the crack of dawn then huh?" What a way to start off your Friday...at least it wasn't Monday.

SNOW DAY!

Although there are many things that I love about working in higher education one of the top three is that sometimes we get snow days. Yesterday was such a day. It is like being a kid all over again. Walking up early to watch the news and then finding out that you get to go back to bed. AWESOME. It' s not just that you get an extra day off from work but the everything that goes into it too. It is a day to stay home in your PJ's and just bum. Too yucky to go anywhere.

So yesterday me and the two kids made a big breakfast (waffles..yum), went outside to play in the snow, drank hot chocolate with marshmallows, played board games, watched a movie, and made cookies. How perfect of a day is that? These are the same things I did as a kid when we had snow days too. Yes the house could be cleaned and laundry could be done. I have a ton of thank you cards to write and I could always find a million other things that NEED to be done. On snow days though we just hang out and spend time together.

Aftermath

Palmer's birthday went off without a hitch this weekend. It was fun and not that stressful. He loved it and I think everyone had a good time. There was plenty of food and train cake decorating was a hit for everyone.

It always cracks me up that you spend a ton of time cleaning to get ready for people to come over and trash the place. The kids room is a tornado. The dishes are piled up and everything needs to be cleaned again. The good news is that since the party was on Saturday I had all day yesterday to clean the place back up. Things are 95% back to normal. I don't mind messy. I understand that where there are new toys kids tend to go into overload. What does bother me is when the break/destroy things.

Palmer got a new train table and set for Christmas and there are no two pieces still together. I know that kids just play different but man. What is the purpose of taking everything apart? Poor Palmer tried to put some of it back together so he could run his trains but couldn't even do that. It would take me months to put it all back together so luckily Dr. Heskett doesn't mind that sort of thing. Needless to say as I was cleaning up yesterday I was heartbroken to find pieces of broken toys and toys that are now spread out all over the place. My kids are much gentler on toys (at least I think so) and tend to want things to stick together. In fact I would argue that Palmer is super OCD in that he likes everything organized and lined up. When he plays with his cars he first lines them all up and then pushes them one at a time. Even the farm animals from his barn tend to be in specific place.

I got to thinking about parent manners 101. I am not the best at remembering these things always but I try. When we go somewhere else and the kids are playing I try to always remember to have the kids help pick up the toys that they play with. Emily is the best little cleaner and it is always just a given that when you finish playing with something you pick it up. Kids get that. If you teach them from a young age it becomes somewhat routine. My kids know that shoes go in the cubby holes in their closet, coats go on the hooks in their room, dirty clothes go into the laundry hamper, and toys go back into the bins that they came from. Dr. Heskett and I are not the tidiest of people but I think that living in such tight quarters have helped us with this. There is no room to let your crap sit everywhere.

Then I thought even further out and wondered what kind of adult guest we were. Do you take your dishes to the sink and rinse them out and do you help clear the table after dinner? We have this unspoken rule at our apartment complex. Because there is no dish washer if you cooked then you don't do the dishes. I LOVE THIS RULE. It is so nice to just help put clean dishes away and put things back into the fridge. I also don't mind doing someone else's dishes when finishing a fantastic meal. We have done this so many times that we don't argue about it any more ("oh no you don't have to do that") and just get to work.

Anyways I am glad to get back to normalcy and we don't have anything really going on for quite sometime which is nice. This is Dr. Heskett's last week of nights (yeah) but then he goes onto a days rotation (boo).

Traditions of the popcorn cake

When I was a kid growing up we would get to pick where we wanted to go out for our birthday dinner on our actual birthday. Of course we always had parties with friends and sometimes one with family too. My parents were not the homemaker type people so it was out to eat and store bought cakes, etc, etc. I never really noticed as a kid and it definitely didn't bother me either. Dr. Heskett's family is the exact opposite. They NEVER ate out and his mom ALWAYS made his cake. In fact there was a very specific type of cake that he got EVERY year. This is no ordinary cake mind you. This is the infamous popcorn cake. You read that right. His cake (which I must admit is fantastic) is unforgettable and every child's favorite. So in the honor of tradition what else could we take to school tomorrow for Palmer's 2nd birthday but the same cake his daddy took to school since Kindergarten (minus the peanuts b/c of allergies).

Popcorn Cake:

4 quarts of popcorn

1 lb of M&M candy

1 c of peanuts

1/3 c vegetable oil

1/2 c butter

1 lb marshmallows

Mix candy, popcorn, and peanuts in a large bowel. Melt marshmallows, butter, and vegetable oil in sauce pan until smooth. Poor melted marshmallows over the popcorn and stir until coated. Spray an angel food cake pan. Press popcorn mixture into angel food cake pan. Let sit until set up. Turn cake pan over onto a plate until it drops out. Whala you have the infamous popcorn cake pan.

Better Mental Health

I had a great weekend. We had nothing planned and just spent some time getting errands ran and hanging out as a fam. It was really nice. One thing that I did do this weekend was scrapbook for the first time since we moved to PA. I used to scrapbook all the time. Me and some of my friends would get together with a few bottles of wine and scrapbook into the wee hours of the morning. It was fabulous. I haven't really met ANYONE who scrapbooks here in PA. I am sure that I could find a group but it is much better if you are just friends with someone who scrapbooks and you decided to do that together rather than see a movie or something. Anyways since we didn't have anything going on Sat afternoon and everyone else was taking a nap I decided to pull my stuff out and see what I could get through.

It was awesome and I totally got lost in my task. I got a lot done and it was so much fun. I scrapbooked for 4 hours and it felt like five minutes.

I tagged this post mental health because last year was really rough for me and I feel like I have come full circle. A year ago Palmer was in the hospital, I wasn't working, I was super depressed, money was awful, and we were desperately searching for a way to move back to KS. There were days where I would sit on the couch and cry for no reason other than I was just that miserable. (I wonder what that did to my kids' mental health).

Staying home was never really the source of my depression. I loved staying home with my kids and some days that fun was all that I had getting me out of bed everyday. Emily and I are closer than we have ever been and I am extremely thankful that I have that. However, not having any money and not being able to find a job since I was looking was part of the issue. The other part of the issue was loneliness and homesickness. Interns work so much that it literally felt like me and the kids were dropped on this new planet.

Although we are still searching for close friends we have made great lengths at meeting new people. I have been back to work for 9 months and while money is not great it is much better. The kids are happy and healthy and Bret's hours are slowly but surely getting better. It's funny that something as simple as getting out an old hobby of mine reminded me of how far we have come. People always told us that moving away from family would make our family closer and for a LONG time I thought they were crazy but in reality they were really right.

Controversy

I am reading the latest Ann Coulter book, Guilty: Liberal 'Victims' and Their Assault on America. I know how controversial some of her books are and this is no exception. Already she has had several heated discussions with some of the liberal talk shows and it has been interesting.

There is no question that I am a pretty conservative political person. Which is funny because I tend to be the minority with my friends and even family. I tend to keep my mouth shut because I truly don't want to hurt people's feelings and conservative viewpoints don't always come off as unoffensive. I am not judgemental and the struggle that I find myself when I read her books is that she puts harsh criticism and blame on "someone". While I don't always agree that putting blame somewhere is productive I DO agree with some of her points.

In her latest book her argument is the most liberal people in our country make being a victim something heroic. Rather than try to prevent them from getting into these situations (by choice, fate, poor circumstances, etc) we enable them. Particularly in this book she focuses on single mothers. I am very torn on this subject because I do admire single mothers. It is a tough load to haul. I am not sure that I could ever mange it. On the other hand no other classification can be so clearly pointed to as the one common thread for a long strew of social issues in our country.

"By 1996, 70 percent of inmates in state juvenile detention centers serving long-term sentences were raised by single mothers. Seventy percent of teenage births, dropouts, suicides, runaways, juvenile delinquents and child murderers involve children raised by single mothers. Girls raised without fathers are more sexually promiscuous and more likely to end up divorced. A 1990 study by the left-wing Progressive Policy Institute showed that, after controlling for single motherhood, the difference in black and white crime disappeared. Various studies come up with slightly different numbers, but all the figures are grim. A study cited in the far left-wing Village Voice found that children brought up in single-mother homes "are five times more likely to commit suicide, nine times more likely to drop out of high school, 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances, 14 times more likely to commit rape (for the boys), 20 times more likely to end up in prison, and 32 times more likely to run away from home." "

I wish that Ann and others would spend less time criticizing the mothers and more time working on finding solutions to help curve this issue. I also wish that more time was spent criticizing the fathers that for whatever reason are no longer around. I wish for everyone to stop taking offense and accept the harsh reality. Instead we argue and throw blame.

The Winner is....

Thanks to everyone who participated in my vote for Palmer's birthday party theme. The votes were split evenly after I voted. So... I picked trains. (Don't worry there is always next year for dinosaurs) I choose trains mostly because I found the most awesome train cake pan from Williams Sonoma (no I did not spend $56 on a cake pan, I bought it on ebay instead). So not to spoil the surprise for any of you who will be coming to the party I won't tell all until after the party which is next weekend. Just the main activity which is the reason for the cake pan...the kids will each get their own train car to decorate using frosting bags with fun tips and candy. I got this idea when the kids and I were working on a gingerbread house together. Palmer really liked putting the candy on the house and I think he will enjoy decorating a train too. This weekend I have to pick up all of the last minute supplies like the cups, plates, napkins, etc. It should be a lot of fun.



Speaking of winning....Tova Darling is giving away some very cool jewelry (button pendants) that she made to people who post about her contest. I like everyone else love winning free stuff so check out her site and leave a post about your favorite choice so that you can be entered too!

Preschool Birthday Politics

We had drama at preschool yesterday. A little girl in Emily's class had handed out invitations in cubby holes at school. The drama came when some of the little girls realized that not everyone was invited. Emily was one of the girls that didn't get invited. Surprisingly the school does not have a policy on this issue. In my experience most schools have a policy that it is all or nothing with bringing invitations to school.

I understand the need/want to not invite 17 four years olds to a birthday party. We neither have the money or the space to do so (but we probably will anyways with a July bday we can have it outside but that is beside the point). However we (the mighty PTA) created a contact sheet for the entire school for situations like this. If you do only want to invite close friends you should mail the invitation to the home and speak to the parents invited directly to make sure that they too are aware of limited number of invitations.

It really is sad. Emily searched HIGH and low for this invitation that she was sure would be in her box SOMEWHERE. I too thought of course no mom would only bring invitations to a select few so I asked the teacher and her response was "yes, unfortunately that has been happening a lot more lately". UGH.

This is not the first time this has happened to Emily. Last year Emily had a very close friend at her school. Her mom was very reserved and quiet and not very "hey, how ya doin?" sort of person. Emily came home for a week telling me about this little girls princess birthday party that was coming up and I had no idea what she was talking about. We never got an invitation but Emily had so many details about what was going to happen that even I started to wonder if maybe an invite got lost. So I called another mommy from the class that is a good friend and asked her if her daughter got invited (I know this is a lot of running around for a silly birthday but you have to understand that a birthday party is almost as good as going to Disney to a 4 year old little girl...this is serious people). This mommy said that yes her daughter got invited but that she knew that only one other little boy from the class was invited and that was because the mom's were all old friends. While this made me feel a little better (it wasn't that most of the girls got invited and Em didn't) I still wasn't sure how to explain the situation to Emily.

I don't like to explain to my child the unfairness of life at such a young age. I teach her that everyone is her friend and that it is not nice to exclude people. I am not sure if I would even let her choose one friend at this age because I don't want her to think that hurting other people's feelings is not nice either. I learned this direct. When I was 3rd grade I wanted to have a sleep over for a bunch of girls. I went to a pretty small school and I wanted to invite all of the girls except one. (I think there were 9 girls in my class). The girl I didn't want to invite was very poor and worse yet she smelled. My mom was adamant that everyone or no one was to be invited. The only compromise my mom gave me was I could have one girl over instead. I really wanted a real slumber party (and one friend was not going to cut it) so I invited everyone and hoped for all that was holy that the one girl couldn't come.

Much to my dismay she came. I. WAS. HORRIFIED. Third grade is a rough year and I just knew that this was going to ruin me. Long story short I realized that the girl was nice and SUPER quiet/shy. I felt sorry for her and so did a couple of the other girls. Don't get me wrong in no way did she become my BFF and I am sure that this was not a life changing event for her but it made me a better person and taught me that as a mom it is our job to teach our kids to be considerate. As I step down from my soapbox I digress.

Luckily I am an active member of the school's mighty PTA and you better believe that this will be a subject we talk about. We have new students to add to the contact roster and there will be a note addressing the new invitation policy. Who knew that it would start this soon? Sometime I will tell you about a little girl that brought another little girl in the class to tears talking about how fat she was. I am not sure that Emily even knows what fat means.

Don't forget to vote for your birthday party theme. One of the activities planned for the dinosaur party would be to decorate papermache eggs (that are stuffed with their goodie bag stuff) and for the train party they will get to decorate a train shaped cupcakes with frosting and candy and things.

Also in light of my birthday post a fellow PA blogger is celebrating his birthday today and his only wish (probably not his only but...) is for some crazy traffic on his blog. So stop by Dr. Zibb's blog That Blue Yak and wish him a happy birthday from the fans of From KS to PA (all two of you :).

Hey there Mr. Grumpy Fins

Just keep swimming...just keep swimming. UGH. I have yet to recover from our trip back to Kansas and it is starting to take it's toll. The weather here is just awful (rain/sleet/slush) and it is starting to reflect in my mood.

Dr. Heskett is on a nights rotation and after this month goes straight to days. I knew all year that these two months would the hardest of the year but knowing doesn't really prepare you the way you would hope. Not only are we (me and the kids) trying to get back into a routine we are just worn out. I know that things like the house being a disaster, the laundry that needs to be done, groceries need to be bought, holiday decorations that need to be put away, and the shortage of cash from the trip and holidays are not helping either.

I feel awful when I am so short with the kids. They are hard to get up and around in the morning and I am not giving them enough time because I am not getting up and around early enough either. In the evenings we are scraping something together for dinner watching some TV and trying to go to bed early. On top of it all I have been trying to watch what I eat and start exercising more regularly. Since I let our gym membership go and Dr. Heskett is working nights I have been going on my lunch hour to a fitness class at the school gym (I know that is commitment right?). So as my favorite little Dory says...just keep swimming...just keep swimming. If I keep going this too shall pass and before I know it the awful rotations will be over and spring will be here soon.

In the meantime in an effort to be not so gloomy I have been working on Palmer's 2nd birthday party. I have narrowed my ideas down to two themes to choose from both of which are his all time favorite things to play with. As mentioned before I love birthdays and themes. So I sat down and planned out both of my themes to try and lean towards one idea or the other and I am just stuck. So I am looking for help. My ideas are either dinosaurs or trains. Both are pretty typical little boy parties but I love my favor/activity ideas for the dinosaurs and my cake idea for the trains party. Which one do you like better..I set up a vote so you can let me know.

Oh there's no place like home...

For the holidays. So it is Christmas eve and I am at work for half a day and Bret is at work until tomorrow morning. This is the first year that we have been away from home for Christmas. I really didn't think it would bother me this much because we are leaving for home on Saturday. It is hard. I am thrilled that Kyla (Dr. Heskett's sister) and her fiance Lucas are here to spend the holiday because it really makes it much much better. This morning my coworker that goes to the same church as I do was talking to me about what mass we were going to. I told her that although it would be nice to go tonight it wouldn't feel right going without Bret so we are going to go in the morning. I starting thing about the many years of midnight mass with my parents and Brets and I realized how homesick I am. I felt horrible because she then gave me a very creative gift and I started to cry. It was kind of funny because the gift was very nonsentimental...it was a sampler of all things Berks County (ie Berks beer, Faller's pretzels, a couple ghost story books, etc) and here I was with tears streaming down my cheeks. She got that I was just homesick.

I am hoping that once I get off work today I won't have time to be home sick. We are taking dinner to the hospital to spend part of Christmas eve with Dr. Heskett. After I get off work I need to hit the bank, pick up some beer, stop at the grocery store, get a couple loads of laundry done, and try to clean the house a little. Call me my mother's child but I want a clean house for Christmas.

Sometime tonight I still have a ton of wrapping to do for Santa gifts. Tomorrow morning we are having a big breakfast, church and then presents (I'm not 100% on the order). Then in the evening we are having Christmas dinner after Dr. Heskett gets some sleep. I realized this year that at least for a while our holiday tradition on when we open our gifts will depend on when Dr. Heskett works and that is fine.

The excitement level at our house with the kids has reached an all time high. I think this is the first year that both kids are excited and at a great age. They won't be disappointed. After Christmas I have a few things left to buy for the family in KS and I need to pack. At some point I also need to take kids back to the airport. It is going to be a busy week in deed.

I hope that all of you have a safe and happy holiday. I wish the warmest thoughts your way. Merry Christmas!

Tiny Reindeer and the Loot

Last year was Emily's first year in preschool and thus the first time that Bret and I got to experience the joy of class treats for the holidays. Now I consider myself to be a pretty crafty mom but let me tell you...I am a novice compared to some moms. Maybe it's not that I couldn't create some the of gifts that were given to my then 3 year old...it's that I don't have the time and don't want to spend the money. Emily came home with a full size grocery sack full of treats for Halloween, Christmas, Valentine's Day, and Easter. Most of it was candy but she also got pencils, cups, bricks that become washcloths in water, books, play dough, tiny toys, bubble bath, cookie cutters, crayons and coloring books, and yes a stuffed animal one time. These items usually came in little bags with candy. The people who gave candy didn't give just one piece they usually gave a BAG FULL OF CANDY. It was quite absurd if you ask me. My favorite was always the "healthy" moms that gave something besides candy as listed earlier or individual packs of cheese crackers, animal crackers, cheezit's, cookies, raisins, etc. Kids don't need all of this extra stuff let alone tons of candy. The dilemma is that you don't want your kid to feel bad because they didn't bring anything to hand out and you don't want to spend a small fortune because buying for all the kids can add up quickly.

I subscribe to a couple of parenting magazines and one of my favorites is Family Fun Magazine. This magazine is great because it has tons of ideas of things to do with your kids. Everything from recipes to try together, birthday cake ideas, and fun craft projects for all ages. What we try to do for each holiday treat is come up with an idea that is fun to make, cheap, and somewhat simple. On Halloween we make spiders using googly eyes, pipe cleaners, and tootsie pops, for Valentine's day we made "Plant one on ME" valentine's that gave each child a pack of seeds to take home and try to grow that spring, and for Christmas last year we made jingle bell bracelets. The kids love the gifts and Emily had a lot of fun making them too.

This year was different than last because we now have two kids in a daycare/classroom setting. This means that we have to come up with 30 treats between the two classes. Let me also point out that it is not just the treats because you also have class parties that usually ask for donations. This year for Halloween we stuck to the tootsie pop spiders because they are always a big hit, are easy to make, and two year olds can eat suckers. For Christmas we decided to make reindeer candy canes and I got the kids plastic tumbler cups as well. This killed two birds with one stone because I also signed up for drinks and cups to bring for the class party. The parties are funny because Palmer's class always has two parties. Some of the kids are T/TH only and some are MWF only so they have a party on Thursday and one on Friday and Palmer goes to both b/c is there 5 days a week. We even have two class pictures for him.

I had to laugh last night because when Bret and I got home we were both beat. Bret had stay late which meant he didn't get home until after seven and since Emily had dance we got home at about the same time. The bad parents that we sometimes are also picked up McDonald's on our way home and ate in the living room watching TV (which we never usually allow). Emily and Palmer were thrilled as Bret and I sat on the couch just exhausted from our day. As I put the kids in the tub Bret broke out the class treat supplies and started to assemble our reindeer. Although I usually let the kids help this week was busy and we just didn't have the time or patience not to mention the hot glue gun adds extra caution. I helped for a little while but was told that my antlers were terrible so I went back to getting the kids ready for bed and tucked in. Most people who know Dr. Heskett would never guess that he is an excellent crafty person as well. Sorry babe secret is out.

This morning when I dropped the kids off they were excited to hand out their treats. We put a cup and reindeer in each classmates cubby to take home that day. The drinks were stuck in the fridge for the party that will take place after nap time. I am still holding out hope that they send us home early but am not holding my breath. I am curious to see what the kids come home with and how much candy will have to be hidden this year.

Wait it can't be Monday yet...

I still have so much to do. My weekends have not been what I have wanted/needed them to be. Bret has worked the last two weekends and works this upcoming weekend as well. I usually use my weekends to get the house clean, catch up on laundry, run errands, get groceries, etc, etc. This weekend just got away from me way to fast and my usually on top of it attitude was no where to be found. I realized Saturday was not going to be a productive day the moment my throbbing head reminded me that I don't recover quite so quickly from a "night out" the way it used to. Of course we had a birthday party to go to with a ton of kids running around and squealing with joy at having so much fun making me insane with a nasty hang over. The one good thing is that both of my kids were actually looking forward to nap time today because they too had stayed up late the night before and were wore out from running around at the bday party. So of course we all took a wonderful afternoon nap. We then took dinner to Bret at the hospital came home and went to bed.

Sunday continued to along the same path of unproductivity. Emily had her church's Christmas pageant and I have to say I was a little disappointed. The pageant was cute but Emily's class (pre-k) only rang bells as they came into the gym and then again when they left. THAT. WAS. IT. I was surprised b/c at that age they can learn a short song or saying or anything. So Bret, Palmer, and I sat for over an hour to see her ring a bell for 2 minutes. At least a 3 minute song would have felt worth it. At least she look cute in her adorable Christmas dress. After lunch I went running. Yes I said running. A good friend of mine was really into running and lost all of this weight as she training for a marathon last year. Since then she has sort of gotten out of the habit and the weight has crept back on. She is now starting her training for a half marathon and needed someone to go with. I have this rule with myself that if someone asks me to workout if it is at all possible I never say no. So thus I ran 4.2 miles in just under an hour and survived. I am not a runner. I am 5 ft tall and have never been "in shape" let alone capable of running but in the past year or so I have gradually worked my way into not hating working out. That is about the best I can say for exercise. Needless to say that upon my return home I found my kids have just fallen asleep and my post call husband heading for nap. Let's see take a nap with hubs or clean the house or do laundry.

It is not like our house is a dump or anything it just needed cleaned. I have about 5 loads of laundry to do and we need groceries. I hate having to try and catch up over the week. It just adds stress. Hubs know how crazy this drives me so last night he calmed me down by promising to pick up groceries on his way home and helping with cleaning while I tend to the laundry. This made me feel loads better but we shall see what actually gets accomplished. If there is one thing I have learned in our crazy life is that sometimes something has to give. Rather than it being my sanity, fun with the kids or hubs, I have learned that it is ok if there are dishes in the sink for a day, or that the vacuum can wait. So after my 3 mile run tonight we may or may not have clean socks to wear tomorrow and that is ok.