DQ

In our world DQ used to stand for Dairy Queen which was usually a pretty good thing. Now that Emily is swimming in meets we have been introduced to a new definition for DQ...disqualified.

This weekend was Emily's home meet. She was excited to try a couple different events. For the first time she wanted to try the 100 IM. This is a medly race meaning that she swims four laps one of each stroke (25 butterfly, 25 back, 25 breast, and finish with 25 freestyle). It is a tough event for the younger ones but Emily was insistant that she try and we let her decide what she swims for the most part.

Emily had a great meet. She placed in all three of her events until her 25 meter butterfly. She got disqualified. Butterfly is by far the toughest stroke to do well. The two things that always catch Emily is that your arms must always come all the way out of the water and you must keep your feet together. When you get a little tired these are tough things to keep up with. Like any event the rulings depend on the refs. Some meets the refs are little easier on the younger ones than others. Our meet ref was tough and pretty much DQ all of the 8 and under butterfly competitors.

Emily had been DQ before...it is part of the sport especially for the younger ones. However, she was ready to make some corrections and get ready for her last even which also included 25 meters of the fly.

Emily did awesome in her 100IM....but the ref once again DQ her. Her coach was really upset and argued with the head ref but lost. When Emily got finished I had to tell her and the big tears that welled up in her eyes was almost more than I could take. This was the first time that she really felt she gave it her all and she was super disappointed. She would have gotten first place for the first time in any event.

Her grandparents that were spectating were frustrated with the ref as was I. We focused on the positive but we could just see Emily's disappointment. We are all so very proud of her. We have told her all of the things needed (next time, you tried your best, etc) and she knows that. It is still hard.

Wipe Out

Have you guys ever watched the show Wipeout? The kids and Bret love it. They crack up everytime someone bounces off their head or gets sucker punched. I can't help but laugh too when someone is running a long and out of no where gets knock off into the water. I learned this weak that getting wiped out is not so fun.

We had an amazing break (stomach bug aside) and had a lot of fun at the Cotton Bowl (even though our team lost). Coming back was another story. Trying to get all of my Christmas decor put away, laundry caught up, and our family of 5 back into routine was rough.


On Monday one of Bret's partners from work had a National Championship watch party to cheer on her beloved Roll Tide team. The game didn't start until 7:30 and we had very clear intentions of leaving by 8:15 so that our already tired kids would get to bed at a decent time. Instead we left just before half time and the kids got to bed just after nine. Not to bad right? Not so.


The first of my Wipeout experiences felt like getting sucker punched by surprise the next day. I can see myself in slow motion going "nooooo" and falling into the water. I went to pick Palmer up from preschool and it took me a minute to notice that he wasn't running towards me and the car like usual. Instead his head was bowed and he was walking besides his teacher. Not good people not good. His teacher proceeded to explain that Palmer and some other kids were playing tag at recess and things were getting too rough. The teacher asked Palmer and the other kids to stop. She had to ask Palmer a second and third time and told him he was not allowed to play tag anymore. This apparently made Palmer upset so when the teacher asked the kids to line up Palmer refused. The teacher then told Palmer he couldn't be the door holder that day (which was his job for the week) and this upset him even more so he threw down his hat and gloves and begrudgedly went inside.

I know that Palmer was tired and grumpy which made his reasoning skills and temper not a good combo for the day. So knowing that made me feel a little bad for him. On the other hand no mom likes to be "talked to" by the teacher about their child's behavior. Since this was his first infraction and because we knew he was really tired (and it was our fault) we went a little easy on him. He got a stern talking to from both of his parents and grounded from the TV and all other electronics for two days. I think Palmer understands how serious it was. Ironically it wasn't until he told Emily why he couldn't watch TV and he saw her horrified reaction that it really sank in how bad his actions were.

Moving right along this weeks course and I thought the worst was over. Again yesterday I went to the school to pick up my other kid, Emily. Emily has to "flip her card" every now and then but almost always for talking or not listening. Over all she rarely gets into "trouble".

This time my surprise was even more evident like the ones who are running a long and out of no where the wall moves out to knock them into the water. There stands Emily with her teacher. The teacher tells Emily to head to the car..which surprises me even more. The teacher tells me that today at recess Emily paid another girl in her class $2 to play with her. The girl took the money but then refused to play with Emily. Emily got upset and when asked by the teacher what was going on she wanted me to know from her (the teacher) and that she was going to be addressing why anyone would need to pay someone to play with them. I promised to talk about it with Emily.

I asked Emily about what happened and she told me that no wants to play with her and she has no friends. The sadness in her voice and the look in her eyes broke my heart right there in the car sitting next to her. Emily said that everyone has their own friends and that they don't want her as a new friend. She said that the kids are not mean to her but they don't include her either. She said she missed PA and her old friends.

We had no idea. Emily is such an outgoing kid. She loves school, gets invited to birthday parties, and seemed like the move was going great for her. We talked briefly about how paying people to be your friend isn't really a good solution (which she reminded me that she already figured out on her own). She had piano lessons and swimming so we dropped it and decided to talk about it later. I did what I do best and took the boys home and went and cried in my room.

When Bret got home we talked about it some more. Both of us can very clearly remember the struggles in making friends as kids. Bret told me a really sad story about a group of kids who had a club house and secret membership. Trying to buy his way into the group he made secret club flip badges for all of the kids. This plan also backfired when the kids laughed at them and threw them all in the trash.

I know that all kids go through this in some way or another. My first instinct is to fix it. To have more play dates for her and to help her try and make friends. On the other hand I want her to get through this on her own to help her grow and learn how to deal with this in the future. I feel like I don't know what to do. Both of us talked her some more last night. We talked about doing what the other kids want to play instead of what she wants to play all the time. Reminded her not to be bossy and to stop worrying about who was friends with her so much. We talked about doing what she thinks is fun on her own at recess (like the monkey bars) and that if kids see she is having fun they will want to play with her. I felt very unprepared to give advice on making friends when sometimes I feel like it is still hard for me too. We told her that too. Most of all we told her that we loved her and that she was an awesome person who will make friends.

I am so thankful that it is Friday and that I can start with a new week fresh. I am hopeful for no new surprises for a while.

Emily Grace Heskett

Happy 5th Birthday!

It brings tears of joy to my eyes just typing that. I can't believe you are five already. It seems like just yesterday your dad and I's lives were changed forever. There are no words to describe how different our lives became the moment you were born.

Until we found out that we were pregnant with you daddy and I thought we had our whole lives planned out and of course that everything would go exactly by our plan. Boy did that change and we wouldn't have it any other way. My pregnancy with you was a whirlwind of fear, excitement, terror, joy, and nausea.

Lucky for us you were a great baby and always had a smile on your face. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that complete strangers would go out of their way in a parking lot or store to tell me how beautiful of a baby you were and how adorable of a little girl you are now. Daddy and I have always known that you were beautiful and that your precious blue eyes will break many hearts and find true love someday (hopefully not any time soon).

You are so much more than beauty. People can't help but smile when they are around you and you are someone that everyone wants to be around. Your ability to sing and dance songs of your own making is fantastic. You are thoughtful and caring and have a deep sense of compassion that makes us so proud to be your parents.

Your excitement for this new baby has made us all even more excited. Your love for your brother and this new baby you haven't even met yet makes me love you even more. Even if I have five more boys (please no) I at least have you and you are enough girl to take them all on.

I love that you have so much of BOTH me and your dad that you can't tell where one begins and the other ends. You are such a one of a kind kid that I feel blessed everyday that I get to be your mom.

You amaze me every day in the way you over come your fears. Something may intimidate you but you never let it stop you. We are so proud of the little person you are becoming and are excited to see what adventures lie in your future.

My First Interview

A friend of mine did this on her facebook and it cracked me up. Here is an interview with my 4 year old daughter Emily Grace Heskett.

1. What is something mom always says to you? Don’t touch anything that is yours.

2. What makes mom happy? When I'm being good.

3. What makes mom sad? When I’m bad.

4. How does your mom make you laugh? Tickle me and I snart when I laugh.

5. What was your mom like as a child? I don’t know.

6. How old is your mom? UMMMMMMMMMM....I don’t know.....39 or 18??

7. How tall is your mom? Um...like 40 feet..no 100 feet

8. What is her favorite thing to do? Take a nap.

9. What does your mom do when you're not around? Do something that she wants to do like watching her shows.

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? I don’t know like your birthday or flowers or a ring.

11. What is your mom really good at? Cutting strawberries. (huh?)

12. What is your mom not very good at? Hanging up pictures. (can we say random but she's right)

13. What does your mom do for her job? Makes money to help people go to school. (I'm impressed)

14. What is your mom's favorite food? Lita’s food (Lita is my mom so I think she is saying Colombian food)

15. What makes you proud of your mom? When you do what I want to do.

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? Sponge Bob Square pants (really?)

17. What do you and your mom do together? Watch a movie.

18. How are you and your mom the same? Nothing, I’m not wearing any rings, we don’t have the same hair, I don’t have a squishy tummy, we are not the same. (sniffle)

19. How are you and your mom different? I don’t know (see above)

20. How do you know your mom loves you? Because you love me. I’m just magical and four years old so I'm smart and I just know.

21. What does your mom like most about your dad? He likes what you like and he knows what you want. (couldn't have said it better myself)

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go? On the Border

And the Little One Said "Roll Over"

My conversation with Emily last night at bedtime:

Emily: Mommy I don't want to go to bed. What if I have a bad dream?

Me: Em, you will be fine there is nothing to be afraid of. Besides, Palmer will protect you.

Emily: Mommy, can I sleep with you?

Me: NO. But you can crawl down and sleep with Palmer after he falls asleep if you have a bad dream but don't wake him up.

Emily: Mommy, I don't want to sleep with Palmer because he snores.

Me: (stifling my laughter because this is serious talk) Em you don't want to sleep with me then because daddy snores really loud..a lot louder than Palmer.

Emily: (Cracking up hysterically) When Palmer snores in my ear I push him gently and then he rolls over and stops. (Still laughing)

Me: (also cracking up) Huh, that's what I do with daddy too.

The boys have no idea why we are laughing. It's true that girls speak a different language.

Sprite, Saltines, and Mommy's Love

We had a very long night last night. Emily got up several times and told me that she had a bad dream and didn't feel good. Finally a couple of hours before the alarm went off so did her tummy.

The weather has been not so good here and so I was not that disappointed to have the day to spend with her making her feel better. So far today we have had crackers, Sprite, and lots of TLC. I can tell that Em feels pretty bad because with a whole day of mommy to herself (we took brother to school) all she has wanted to do was lay on the couch and watch movies. So we sit in our comfy stay home clothes and snooze in and out of naps as we watch the princess' we love get the men of their dreams. On the agenda for the afternoon is some finger nail painting (not sure if we will go with pink or purple today), maybe another movie, reading some books, and if we really are feeling better maybe a couple of board games.

When I was a kid my mom made this special soup that is a broth I have never ventured to make and let me lay in bed as long as I wanted to. She would rub my back and make sure that I had everything I needed to get better. Even as a child the one thing that I always kept close to my side were my books. Nothing says get better soon to me then spending the day in the world of someone else as I lose myself in the pages. What did your mom/dad/whoever do to make you feel better when you stayed home sick?

What a 4 year old fears

As I was helping Emily get dressed this morning she told me she had a bad dream last night. I asked her what it was about and she said that she dreamed that she went to church in her princess night gown because we forgot to dress her. She looked at me with a nervous smile.

I forget sometimes that Emily is in a stage right now where the world revolves around her. Her worries and fears are very real in her world and although I wanted to laugh her off I knew that she was waiting for me to tell it was OK. So I tickled her and laughed with her and hugged her and told her that her mommy would NEVER let that happen. If only all fears were this easy to ease.