Imperfect Progress

I recently read a book for my bible study group that had an underlying theme that really struck me.  The book was about keeping your head (and not blowing up) when things are really stressful.  This was good information but it was something else that she talked about that really hit home for me.

In the beginning of the book she talked about how sometimes the fear of failing or the fear of not being able to do something perfectly prevents from even trying.  That is so me.  I mentioned the diet and how hard it is for me and that is a perfect example.  If I go over on my calories or if I don't make it to the gym one day I feel like a failure and that I should just quit.  I am so hard on myself that I fail to realize that imperfect progress is still progress.

Each time that I try and have even a small success it is still worth trying.  So today was a bad day.  It happens.  That doesn't mean that I should keep trying or that all of my effort up until this point wasn't still valid.  So that has become something that I keep tucked into my heart.  Imperfect progress is still progress.

The "D" Word

Bret and I are going to Jamaica in a few weeks.  Wanting to shed about ten pounds before we go we decided to get on a diet.  When I say we decided what I really mean is that I decided and Bret got told kind of after the fact.

I have never been good with diets.  They just don't work for me and they make me really grumpy.  The one other time that Bret and I tried to do it together we tried to do a shake/meal replacement program and we almost killed each other.  So this time around we are a little wiser.

We decided to work on calorie restriction, portion control, and exercise.  I have been going to the gym faithfully for the past three months.  I am taking a water aerobics class and a water toning/resistance class.  I am also taking spin and jogging on the treadmill.  What I noticed was that I wasn't really losing a ton of weight but I was getting toned which is nice.  My arms are a little less giggly and some of the crazy cellulite in my thighs have lessened.  I knew that to drop the pounds I was going to have to start watching what I eat.

The first day of the diet I was all gung-ho.  I packed Bret a new water bottle, his breakfast, and snacks to get him through the day.  By the time he got home from work I was ready to quit.  I was so hungry I couldn't see straight and was seriously hangry at everyone.  Bret on the other was on board to make this happen.  We went to Applebee's and had one of their 500 calorie meals and survived day one.

We are on week two and things are still going good.  This is the longest I have stayed on a diet ever.  Last night though I had a heart to heart with Bret and was surprised to see that Dr. Bret showed up.  You would think that having a husband as a doctor would be nice to have as a wealth of information.  You would be wrong.  Dr. Bret is tired of answering questions by the time he gets home and usually blows off my questions that are just curious (not when something is serious).  So when I have an ache or a weird rash or whatever he tells me "you are fine" and the discussion is closed.

However every now and then Dr. Bret comes to the conversation instead of husband Bret.  I usually don't like these conversations because it usually is information that I don't want to hear.  Such was the case.  I made the comment that I felt this diet was pointless.  I can already see Bret losing weight...I on the other hand haven't really changed.  Dr. Bret gave me this long speech about how I am insulin resistant, high risk for diabetes, blah, blah, blah...I need to cut out carbs and switch to a diabetic diet if I ever want to see real results.

Pretty much he told me that my body craves carbs, can't process carbs, and so even though I am limiting calories (which helps) if a lot of my calories are still carbs they are worse than twice as much calories that are not carbs.  Not at all what I wanted to hear.

I love bread, pasta, and potatoes...not to mention sugar.  Limiting those items in my diet is really hard.  Working to ELIMINATE them feels impossible.  However, I really want to lose some weight, I really don't want to become diabetic, and I want to be healthier.  So I am trying.  In fact today for a snack I had a lean turkey hot dog with nothing else...for a snack.  Instead of a granola bar or animal crackers (which are my go to light calorie snack) I had string cheese and a hot dog.  For breakfast I had an omelet.  What really surprised me was that I felt better today.  Maybe there is something to this whole carb thing.  We shall see. 

6 months



 

Easton George is six months old. 

 

 

 



 I think it has to have been the fastest six months of my life.

Dear Easton,

You are six months old!  How did that happen?  You are the happiest baby.  The comments I get from most people is that they have never seen such a content baby.  You hang out and go wherever we go.  You love to watch your crazy brothers and your sister can always make you smile.  You love to jump around in your jumper and you love anything that crinkles.  You love to eat any veggie that is not green (not a fan of green beans or peas but we are still trying) and you love to nurse.  You are still not sleeping through the but you are so sweet that I don't mind too much.  I would hold you forever and all the time but...you are the fourth child and usually not the loudest with your demands.

I think you are the youngest baby I have ever had that can hold his own bottle.  I blame it on the fact that you learn what you need to survive :)  You smile when anyone talks to you probably because you are just glad to be getting some extra attention.  You have filled a hole in our lives that we didn't know existed but that feels like it was always there.  In the not to distant future you will be wrestling with your brothers and running around like they do.

I love that you  know your mom and dad's voices.  Your head follows us around a room and when your dad comes home whistling you hear him and look for the door.  You can always make your dad smile with one of your grins.  When you smile your whole face lights up.  You show us what Tara means when she says smile with your eyes.

We love you very much.  This mommy would really appreciate it if you could make the next six months slow down just a little.

love,

mama

Happy Birthday!

Today is Bret's 32nd birthday.  It kind of snuck up on me this year.  The kids were super excited to celebrate and had all kinds of ideas on what to get him.  They love him so much and wanted to shower him with everything needed to really celebrate.  It is a good day.

Dear Bret,

Happy Birthday!  Another year in your life has flown by.  Are you any wiser?  I sat staring at the computer for a long time not knowing what to write.  I feel like there needs to be a better word than just love to describe how I feel about you.  It doesn't feel like enough.  You are still my best friend.  You are the first person I tell everything to.  I look forward to you coming home even when I am having a rough day.  I treasure the time we spend just being together.  You make me laugh, you piss me off, and I can't think of anyone else I would rather spend every day for the rest of my life with.

Thank you for being a good husband.  Thank you for being a great dad.  I hope that you have a great birthday.  You are very loved.

Rejoice!

This past Sunday Emily received her first holy communion.  As a kid I used to joke that it was one of the few benefits of being Catholic...that you got to wear a beautiful dress for one day.

It wasn't until years later that the true meaning of this sacrifice really settled in my heart.  As a mom it is my job to help my children grown in their love of the Lord and their relationship with him.  There is no greater way to become closer to the Lord than to participate in communion and to watch Emily take this step was so meaningful and made our hearts swell with joy.

I know that every mom is biased by our oldest daughter looked beautiful.  She has such a big heart and as her grandmother put it she is beautiful inside and out.  We are so very proud and thankful.

The dress turned out better than I could have ever hoped for.  At her request I also made the cake.  It was such a good day spent with family and friends.  We are so blessed.

Mostly Moved

Can I just say that I am not a fan of moving.  OK I really hate moving.  We are almost done and I have not yet hit panic mode.  We close on the house on Monday so we have a few more days to get the last of the furniture going to storage out of the house, the last few boxes of things we don't know what to do with, a few things off the wall, and of course clean.  Humph.  I am tired.

My children have been such troopers through this whole ordeal.  One day while Bret and I were packing like crazy I kept seeing Palmer walking around with an armful of stuff.  We have been talking about the move, the building of the new house, etc for a few weeks now and were hoping that the kids were well prepared for the changes coming forth.  As I taped up another box in the boys room Palmer came over with his armful with huge hopeful eyes.  "Mom, can I take these things with us?"

I am not sure if he thought that I was getting rid of things or if he thought that the boxes were all headed to storage but my little worrier was worried and clearly stressed.  I looked at the things he had been carrying and it really made my heart melt.  He had his blanket, his DS, a monster truck, and a K-state football.  I melted because as I looked around at all of the "things" that we have these were his most prized possessions.  Everything else could go if he could keep these things.

Sometimes as parents you can only hope that the decisions you make are what is best for the family.  I think Emily summed it up best when she said "home is where we all are".

The Dress

In a girl's life there are many important life memories that are marked by a special dress.  This starts sometimes with a baptismal gown, a first communion dress, a graduation dress, prom, and of course your wedding dress.

 

I loved my wedding dress.  It was definitely the type of dress for that when I put it on I knew it was the one.  It made me feel beautiful.  It was very simple and elegant.  I put the dress on the morning of my wedding and didn't take it off until the early hours of the next day (because we partied all night and left at the butt crack of dawn the next day for our honeymoon).

 

My mom paid to have the dress cleaned and put into a special preservation box to save.  As the years past and Emily was born I decided very early on that I wanted to have something made for her from my dress.  I knew that she would want her own dress but I still wanted to preserve this special dress to pass down to my only daughter.  So I decided to have her first communion dress made from it.

 

Emily is making her first communion this April and the time came to get the dress out and ready to take to the seamstress.  Of course when I opened it the first thing I wanted to do was try it on.  IT FIT!  Ten years later and the dress still fit.  Needless to say I was pretty excited to wear it again and even though Bret and my mom were a little surprised it fit they both agreed that it was a great dress for me. 

 

 

I took Emily this week to get measurements and to hand over my dress.  Emily's eyes got really wide when she realized that it meant cutting up the dress.  She was really sad because she said it was such a pretty dress.  She mentioned saving it for her but quickly agreed that she would want to pick out her own wedding dress someday instead.  I think it makes her feel like her first communion dress is really special which is exactly what I hoped for.