THANKFUL AND THANKLESS

For my wife and her faithful followers:

The list of things to be thankful for should grow every year. As you know my mind is analytical and simple math answers everything, therefore the more you “have” the more you should be thankful for. We seem to acquire more things every year. Whether it is material items like books, new gadgets, kitchen items, coats, clothes or movies; or people like new friends, old friends becoming closer friends, new family members or new babies. When we add these new things onto last year’s thankful list, we really can start to celebrate Thanksgiving.

Our kids are really starting to get it for the first time this year which is really exciting. Emily was mortified to find out some children don’t eat special food for holidays and may not get presents for Christmas because their families don’t have enough money, and she was thrilled to help out in her own way. Palmer will start to get it soon I’m sure with a teacher like Emily. This holiday season will be the best ever because of our children’s ages. (And the fact that Adriana is not very, very pregnant like she was in 2006 and 2009)

Thanksgiving at our house is always something extra special because it is Adriana’s birthday. Well, not just her birthDAY, but apparently her birthday WEEK. And we’re not just talking about a business week starting on Monday, but starting November 18. Adriana uses this week to her advantage, with honey-do’s and pampering to the tune of “But it’s my birthday week.”

Now listen, I’m not about to say she doesn’t deserve all she does during that week on a more regular basis. Don’t take this as a complaint on my part, I had just never heard of such a thing as a birthday week before I met Adriana. In fact, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I feel that this is probably the best way to show her how much I appreciate her all year long but don’t show it the rest of the year. If you haven’t learned by now, Adriana is overworked, underpaid and underappreciated year round, and her birthday week is really the way the rest of the year should be. Time together for Thanksgiving at our house has been hard the last 3 years, due to my schedule: 2007 I worked 14 hour days Wednesday, Friday and a 24 hour shift Saturday, 2008 was working 14 hour nights Sunday through Thursday nights, and 2009 I worked 14 hour days M-F of Thanksgiving week including Thursday.

So hopefully this year at a time of Thanksgiving, while performing the thankless tasks of CEO, CFO and president of Heskett, Inc., Adriana can bask in the affections of her family and realize that actions speak louder than words. And hopefully some of her “wishlist” items for her birthday will suffice as a humble “Thank You” for all she does for us all year long. However, just in case those things don’t quite do it, let me go on record: Thank you for everything, there is no way I could do it without you, and I love you!

Love Always,

Bret, Emily, Palmer and Logan

Count to Ten

It's been a while since I have posted. This is partly due to minor surgery I had last week and partly because like everyone else the late winter blues has me with less than uplifting thoughts to fill the pages with.

I had laproscopic surgery last week to remove a cyst from my ovary. Everything went fine but you know...it's still surgery. You wait in like four different rooms and you are starving b/c you can't eat anything since the night before and you are thirsty b/c you can't have anything to drink for four hours before the surgery and people just do their job and almost completely oblivious to you as they move you, ask you questions, and tell you what to do.

I hate operating rooms. There is nothing friendly or warm about them and I know that nothing can be done about that. One thing that was a little different this time was that after they started the IV I kept waiting for that drowsy feeling. I remember in past surgeries that they would tell you to count backwards from ten and at nine you start to feel you eyelids get heavy and at eight you know that you are done. That didn't happen this time. One minute I am listening in to the nurses in the room making fun of one of the doctors (of course I knew exactly who they were talking about which made it even funnier) and the next thing I know I am waking up in recovery. I mentioned it to Bret and he smiled and said "yah, they push the drugs pretty fast here...no screwing around...it's great". One minute I am completely fine and the next I am OUT.

I am not much one for pain killers either. Even after my c-section I took maybe one pain killer the day I went home and one the next day and then Tylenol and Motrin for me. So this time we didn't even get the Vikadon prescription filled. All is well just have to watch my two year old who doesn't quite get the "mommy's tummy is still really sore" concept. I have to say that two days at home BY MYSELF was awesome. Kids at daycare and Bret at work and me at home with my DVR shows to watch and a couple great new books. It was exactly what the doctor ordered.

Traditions of the popcorn cake

When I was a kid growing up we would get to pick where we wanted to go out for our birthday dinner on our actual birthday. Of course we always had parties with friends and sometimes one with family too. My parents were not the homemaker type people so it was out to eat and store bought cakes, etc, etc. I never really noticed as a kid and it definitely didn't bother me either. Dr. Heskett's family is the exact opposite. They NEVER ate out and his mom ALWAYS made his cake. In fact there was a very specific type of cake that he got EVERY year. This is no ordinary cake mind you. This is the infamous popcorn cake. You read that right. His cake (which I must admit is fantastic) is unforgettable and every child's favorite. So in the honor of tradition what else could we take to school tomorrow for Palmer's 2nd birthday but the same cake his daddy took to school since Kindergarten (minus the peanuts b/c of allergies).

Popcorn Cake:

4 quarts of popcorn

1 lb of M&M candy

1 c of peanuts

1/3 c vegetable oil

1/2 c butter

1 lb marshmallows

Mix candy, popcorn, and peanuts in a large bowel. Melt marshmallows, butter, and vegetable oil in sauce pan until smooth. Poor melted marshmallows over the popcorn and stir until coated. Spray an angel food cake pan. Press popcorn mixture into angel food cake pan. Let sit until set up. Turn cake pan over onto a plate until it drops out. Whala you have the infamous popcorn cake pan.

But What Will I DO?

Yesterday Dr. Heskett and I had a lengthy discussion about our finances. We have always done OK on the money side of our lives. There has never been "enough" but there was always "enough"...if you know what I mean. However the move from Kansas was definitely a big test. Not only did it cost a lot to to make some repairs to the house before we sold it but the move itself cost quite a bit. Add that to me staying home for almost a year and whala...we have a bit more credit card debt that what we feel comfortable carrying. On the horizon we are hoping to have another baby sometime in the next year or two which means added daycare and the need for a bigger vehicle. So thus the want to try and get all of our debt paid off.

We are not elaborate spenders. Sometimes we indulge our children and sometimes we eat out a few times a week but when push comes to shove for the most part we are reasonable spenders. So when we took a long hard look at our budget there wasn't a lot of room to trim fat from. Besides the promise to cut our grocery bill a little and eat home more often that didn't leave much to add to our "pay off debt" campaign. Then Dr. Heskett said something I was totally unprepared for. His suggestion was to turn off our Comcast services. This mean no TV, Internet, or land line phone. The phone I could care less about and the Internet would stink a little but my palms started to sweat as I contemplated going without TV.

I have mentioned before that TV is my one vice. I love my DVR, On Demand, and Pay per View. The worst of it is that the timing couldn't be worse. Lost premiers this week as did a few other Showtime and HBO shows that I watch...not to mention May finales. I can't imagine not being able to tun the TV to the Sprout channel for those few much needed minutes to get dinner on the table not to mention our morning routine of the kids watching TV while we sleep for a few extra minutes on weekends. Who am I kidding I would really miss, Grey's, Desperate, Gossip Girl, 90210, Private Practice, Biggest Loser, Big Love, Entourage, Lost, Privileged, The L Word, and many many more.

Dr. Heskett's response was yeah it would suck. He would miss sports and the Internet. The problem is that Dr. Heskett watches TV not shows. He likes to see what is on and usually ends up with a movie that he hasn't seen a million times or something on the history/discover/war/etc channel. This is totally different. He could fill that gap with something else...like a book. I would miss the action of what is happening...what if one of the characters that I love would die? I would totally miss it until this summer sometime when I could maybe rent the season. I panic just thinking about it.

Then reality hit me. I am addicted and I am letting my kids get addicted. That is precious time that can be spent doing something else and the payoff is huge. I have to admit that our bill has gotten a little (maybe a lot) out of control. We pay $190 a month to Comcast. This includes our land line phone (unlimited long distance), Internet, and cable (DVR, big Cable package, sports tier, HD, etc, etc, etc). If we added $190 a month to one of our credit card bills we would make an impact. It would also solidify our commitment to pay it off for good. I think that debt is like weight in that the harder you work at paying it off the longer it will stay off....at least I hope.

So here were my terms of agreement. Dr. Heskett has to start running with me. It is something that he dreads/hates a much as it kills me to not watch TV. We also have to sign up for Netflix. I am crazy but not that crazy. We can't watch TV but we have to have something to kill quite afternoons at home on the weekends. We are going to talk about it again tonight because I want to know exactly when we can turn it back on and how exactly we are going to tackle this debt. I will keep you posted on how this goes and just so you know I may have to stop by for a quick fix sometime.

Better Mental Health

I had a great weekend. We had nothing planned and just spent some time getting errands ran and hanging out as a fam. It was really nice. One thing that I did do this weekend was scrapbook for the first time since we moved to PA. I used to scrapbook all the time. Me and some of my friends would get together with a few bottles of wine and scrapbook into the wee hours of the morning. It was fabulous. I haven't really met ANYONE who scrapbooks here in PA. I am sure that I could find a group but it is much better if you are just friends with someone who scrapbooks and you decided to do that together rather than see a movie or something. Anyways since we didn't have anything going on Sat afternoon and everyone else was taking a nap I decided to pull my stuff out and see what I could get through.

It was awesome and I totally got lost in my task. I got a lot done and it was so much fun. I scrapbooked for 4 hours and it felt like five minutes.

I tagged this post mental health because last year was really rough for me and I feel like I have come full circle. A year ago Palmer was in the hospital, I wasn't working, I was super depressed, money was awful, and we were desperately searching for a way to move back to KS. There were days where I would sit on the couch and cry for no reason other than I was just that miserable. (I wonder what that did to my kids' mental health).

Staying home was never really the source of my depression. I loved staying home with my kids and some days that fun was all that I had getting me out of bed everyday. Emily and I are closer than we have ever been and I am extremely thankful that I have that. However, not having any money and not being able to find a job since I was looking was part of the issue. The other part of the issue was loneliness and homesickness. Interns work so much that it literally felt like me and the kids were dropped on this new planet.

Although we are still searching for close friends we have made great lengths at meeting new people. I have been back to work for 9 months and while money is not great it is much better. The kids are happy and healthy and Bret's hours are slowly but surely getting better. It's funny that something as simple as getting out an old hobby of mine reminded me of how far we have come. People always told us that moving away from family would make our family closer and for a LONG time I thought they were crazy but in reality they were really right.

Flying Mouse

I loath doing laundry. I really loath doing it since to get to the old quarter style machines in our building you have to go outside and into the basement..in the cold. Emily has this little Rose Petal cottage that has a little play washing machine and one time I found it in the middle of the hallway. I asked her what it was doing there and with a completely straight face she told me "mom, washing machines don't go in the house"...like duh?

So last night I had about five loads of laundry to do. Bret had left for work and I only had one load of whites left in the dryer that I needed to go get. Of course I flipped on the outside light and I started down the first step and I thought I saw something scurry. There are not a lot of things that freak me out but scurrying things do. More importantly mice do. I know how silly it must sound for a grown person to be afraid of a tiny mouse. My husband once asked me what was the worst that it could do. In my mind touching me or biting me is my paralyzing fear.

So last night I told myself that it was nothing and took another step. Just as this happened the little sucker came straight for me and jumped over a step and was almost touching me. Needless to say I was back in my house with the door shut and bolted so fast that I didn't even have time to scream. I had no idea that mice could jump like that and so fast. My heart was racing and I was trying not to panic as I paged Dr. Heskett at the hospital (yes paging is for emergencies and yes this was an emergency). He just laughed and tried to tell me that he was sure it was gone by now. I was wondering to myself how I was going to sleep by myself that night. Dr. Heskett finally agreed to get the laundry in the morning when he got home from work. It was good thing I had my book to fall asleep reading too (I heart you Eric) because I can only imagine the nightmares I might have had otherwise about the flying mouse that was going to get me in my sleep.

Hey there Mr. Grumpy Fins

Just keep swimming...just keep swimming. UGH. I have yet to recover from our trip back to Kansas and it is starting to take it's toll. The weather here is just awful (rain/sleet/slush) and it is starting to reflect in my mood.

Dr. Heskett is on a nights rotation and after this month goes straight to days. I knew all year that these two months would the hardest of the year but knowing doesn't really prepare you the way you would hope. Not only are we (me and the kids) trying to get back into a routine we are just worn out. I know that things like the house being a disaster, the laundry that needs to be done, groceries need to be bought, holiday decorations that need to be put away, and the shortage of cash from the trip and holidays are not helping either.

I feel awful when I am so short with the kids. They are hard to get up and around in the morning and I am not giving them enough time because I am not getting up and around early enough either. In the evenings we are scraping something together for dinner watching some TV and trying to go to bed early. On top of it all I have been trying to watch what I eat and start exercising more regularly. Since I let our gym membership go and Dr. Heskett is working nights I have been going on my lunch hour to a fitness class at the school gym (I know that is commitment right?). So as my favorite little Dory says...just keep swimming...just keep swimming. If I keep going this too shall pass and before I know it the awful rotations will be over and spring will be here soon.

In the meantime in an effort to be not so gloomy I have been working on Palmer's 2nd birthday party. I have narrowed my ideas down to two themes to choose from both of which are his all time favorite things to play with. As mentioned before I love birthdays and themes. So I sat down and planned out both of my themes to try and lean towards one idea or the other and I am just stuck. So I am looking for help. My ideas are either dinosaurs or trains. Both are pretty typical little boy parties but I love my favor/activity ideas for the dinosaurs and my cake idea for the trains party. Which one do you like better..I set up a vote so you can let me know.

Totally Awkward Tuesdays

So I know that I missed last week but I was out of town, etc and I have a really good story to make up for it this week.



For those of you who haven't read already about our ridiculously long drive back to Kansas that we make regularly because we can't afford four plane tickets...catch up.



Dr. Heskett is a great person to travel with except for one thing. He is a Nazi when it comes to stops. Even if you don't have to pee you should try because it doesn't matter what you promise, plead, or how many tears you shed he is not going to stop until the next designated stop. Emily and I have learned to accept this and usually don't bother to ask anything except when the next stop is going to be. A tank of gas is usually our determinate as to when we are going to stop next and that usually tends to be about four hours. Sometimes this is a little bit of a challenge but one that both Emily and I can usually manage pretty well although sometimes we are running to the bathroom by the time we finally stop.



This weekend we were on our trip home and about six hours from home (it is a 17 hour drive) I had to pee. I asked Dr. Heskett about how long until our next stop. One hour. No problem...it was going to be one of those run to the bathroom moments and I mentally cut myself off from diet coke but I wasn't panicking yet.



As the hour started to dwindle I saw relief in the last sign that said 10 miles until our stop. As we rounded the corner we were passed by a fire truck and ambulance and Bret said..."oh no". Still keeping my cool I turned to him to ask "what?". Without looking at me Bret said "I bet there is a bad accident ahead" and at that moment we came to a stand still behind a ton of cars that we backed up farther than we could see. With panic just under the surface I told myself that it was a slight delay and we were going to inch towards the exit that was only 9 miles away. WE. DIDN'T. MOVE. Bret put the truck into park and I looked at him with terror in my eyes. My bladder was literally starting to cramp. I looked around me and there was NO. WHERE. TO. GO. It was about 6 am and starting to get light outside so sneaking off to the shoulder was out of the question. I just tried to focus on something else and that was just not working.



We sat there for an hour and finally I looked at Bret and said..."I can't hold it any longer". Bret rolled down the window and poured out the last of his large diet coke and handed me the cup. I just sat there and stared at him. It took me a moment to realize that he thought I should pee in the cup. I was horrified. I am no city girl and have squat and peed my far share in the woods but this was completely different. Some how I was supposed to pull my pants down without mooning the world with my whiter than white butt in the front passenger seat of a pick up that was packed to absolute max with my husband sitting next to me and my two kids in the back seat wide awake. Are you kidding me????



As bad as I had to pee it was the longest it has ever taken me to get started. I can't begin to detail my embarrassment and awkwardness at this moment. It was even weird afterwards as we sat there for another 30 minutes before we finally got moving with a cup of my pee sitting in the cup holder of the console because I'll be damned if I was going to roll down my window and dump the pee in front of everyone on the side of the road. UGH. Happy Totally Awkward Tuesdays!

Oh there's no place like home...

For the holidays. So it is Christmas eve and I am at work for half a day and Bret is at work until tomorrow morning. This is the first year that we have been away from home for Christmas. I really didn't think it would bother me this much because we are leaving for home on Saturday. It is hard. I am thrilled that Kyla (Dr. Heskett's sister) and her fiance Lucas are here to spend the holiday because it really makes it much much better. This morning my coworker that goes to the same church as I do was talking to me about what mass we were going to. I told her that although it would be nice to go tonight it wouldn't feel right going without Bret so we are going to go in the morning. I starting thing about the many years of midnight mass with my parents and Brets and I realized how homesick I am. I felt horrible because she then gave me a very creative gift and I started to cry. It was kind of funny because the gift was very nonsentimental...it was a sampler of all things Berks County (ie Berks beer, Faller's pretzels, a couple ghost story books, etc) and here I was with tears streaming down my cheeks. She got that I was just homesick.

I am hoping that once I get off work today I won't have time to be home sick. We are taking dinner to the hospital to spend part of Christmas eve with Dr. Heskett. After I get off work I need to hit the bank, pick up some beer, stop at the grocery store, get a couple loads of laundry done, and try to clean the house a little. Call me my mother's child but I want a clean house for Christmas.

Sometime tonight I still have a ton of wrapping to do for Santa gifts. Tomorrow morning we are having a big breakfast, church and then presents (I'm not 100% on the order). Then in the evening we are having Christmas dinner after Dr. Heskett gets some sleep. I realized this year that at least for a while our holiday tradition on when we open our gifts will depend on when Dr. Heskett works and that is fine.

The excitement level at our house with the kids has reached an all time high. I think this is the first year that both kids are excited and at a great age. They won't be disappointed. After Christmas I have a few things left to buy for the family in KS and I need to pack. At some point I also need to take kids back to the airport. It is going to be a busy week in deed.

I hope that all of you have a safe and happy holiday. I wish the warmest thoughts your way. Merry Christmas!

Totally Awkward Tuesdays

Today is the first day of Tova Darling's Totally Awkward Tuesday. As I love love love her and her blog and b/c I didn't really have anything that spectacular planned for today here is my first awkward post.

My sister and I are very close. Although we fought when we were younger we have been super close since I moved away to college. She even lived with me for a while. Of course when my dear sister got engaged she asked me to be maid of honor and I was thrilled. A few months prior to the big day we found out we were preggers with our second. My sister (although I love her dearly) has what some may call middle child syndrome. This common disease is diagnosed through expressions of not being the center of attention. They are neither the oldest or the youngest and thereby have an identity crisis and feel that nothing is ever about them. My sister is a classic case of this syndrome.

That being said I told Dr. Heskett that come hell or high water NO ONE was going to find out we were pregnant until after the wedding. The last thing I wanted was to steal her thunder by making a big announcement that IN ANY WAY could take the attention away from her. Problem #1...I was sicker than a dog. This was not just simple morning sickness...this was all day sickness. My eyes felt like they were floating in my head and uncontrollable waves of nausea would send me RUNNING to the nearest trash can (because it came way to fast for a bathroom run). Problem #2....Dress had to be altered and had to be unnoticeable. (Sad but true that you show WAY sooner with baby #2). Problem #3....Incredible boob pain that made wearing a bra impossible (luckily holding the dress up was not a problem...not everything about pregnancy is bad).

Problem #4...Pregnancy takes control of your mind and makes you a complete idiot that forgets everything...including the ring. As the maid of honor in your sister's wedding you really only have a couple of major jobs. Forgetting the ring and remembering half way through the ceremony is an issue. Luckily we are Catholic and mass takes forever before you get to the actual ring part. So in my best attempt to be inconspicuous in front of our 300 closest family and friends I signaled to my uncle in the back to run down stairs and find the ring which I left in my purse without my sister noticing. You read that correctly. I left the ring in my purse down in the basement of the church and I needed my uncle to get it and secretly bring it to me. I am a charades genius and we have this all on tape. Watching the tape was the first time that my sister, new BIL, and parents even had a clue that anything was going on. The most impressive part is that the back of the church was a long ways away...have you been to a Cathedral?

Now I am sure that you thought this story could not get any better...but wait.

Problem #5...I almost passed out. I always thought that the whole pregnant woman passing out and finding out that she was pregnant was just an old wives tale. Not true. After the ring episode I was planning to spend the rest of the ceremony planning out how I was going to sneak apple juice into my champagne flute for the toast and suddenly I got very warm. I felt flushed and then chilled. The next thing I knew I started to weave slightly and I felt myself go pale. I knew I was in real trouble when I started to see everything in tunnel vision and I could hear the priest talking but it seemed very far away. The bridesmaid standing next to me took my sister's bouquet from me (which weighed 500 lbs) and asked if I was OK. I told her that no I don't think I was OK and she asked what she should do. (Right now you are thinking that you had no idea so much could go on during a wedding ceremony and no one notice...but no one did I assure you or in my family I would have never heard the end of it.) I stepped down to her level and kind of leaned on her slightly. All I kept thinking about was that I was going to pass out at my sister's wedding in a bridesmaid dress in front of everyone I knew and roll down the steps (there are seven of them). That wasn't even the worst thought going through my head....I was going to steal my sister's show. Through sure will power I made it through the ceremony and when my sister finally kissed her new husband and turned towards me to get her bouquet I could tell how pale I was because she got really scared. I told her to just go I was fine. The priest grabbed my hand and told me to breath. After a brief breathing exercise the best man "escorted/carried" me out to the back of the church to the bathroom. I splashed water on my face, sat down, and was feeling much better. My dear Dr. Heskett was on the other end of the groomsman and thus one of the last of the bridal party to get to the back of the church. He heard the photographer ask if the maid of honor was OK. Although it took a moment for Dr. Heskett to realize that the maid of honor was in fact his pregnant wife he finally made it to the bathroom. I of course was crying and afraid that EVERYONE now knew that I was pregnant.

The only person who even suggested such a thing the rest of the night was my 90 grandmother who simply said "I think it is a boy" and smiled. The rest of the night went off without a hitch (everyone just thought I was dehydrated) and was truly surprised three weeks later when we made the big announcement at Emily's 2nd birthday. The best part is the no one really knew how awkward things were until they saw the video which is hilarious. You can see it all...forgotten ring...weaving maid of honor about to pass out...it is awesome. Happy Totally Awkward Tuesdays!