Totally Awkward Tuesdays

Today is the first day of Tova Darling's Totally Awkward Tuesday. As I love love love her and her blog and b/c I didn't really have anything that spectacular planned for today here is my first awkward post.

My sister and I are very close. Although we fought when we were younger we have been super close since I moved away to college. She even lived with me for a while. Of course when my dear sister got engaged she asked me to be maid of honor and I was thrilled. A few months prior to the big day we found out we were preggers with our second. My sister (although I love her dearly) has what some may call middle child syndrome. This common disease is diagnosed through expressions of not being the center of attention. They are neither the oldest or the youngest and thereby have an identity crisis and feel that nothing is ever about them. My sister is a classic case of this syndrome.

That being said I told Dr. Heskett that come hell or high water NO ONE was going to find out we were pregnant until after the wedding. The last thing I wanted was to steal her thunder by making a big announcement that IN ANY WAY could take the attention away from her. Problem #1...I was sicker than a dog. This was not just simple morning sickness...this was all day sickness. My eyes felt like they were floating in my head and uncontrollable waves of nausea would send me RUNNING to the nearest trash can (because it came way to fast for a bathroom run). Problem #2....Dress had to be altered and had to be unnoticeable. (Sad but true that you show WAY sooner with baby #2). Problem #3....Incredible boob pain that made wearing a bra impossible (luckily holding the dress up was not a problem...not everything about pregnancy is bad).

Problem #4...Pregnancy takes control of your mind and makes you a complete idiot that forgets everything...including the ring. As the maid of honor in your sister's wedding you really only have a couple of major jobs. Forgetting the ring and remembering half way through the ceremony is an issue. Luckily we are Catholic and mass takes forever before you get to the actual ring part. So in my best attempt to be inconspicuous in front of our 300 closest family and friends I signaled to my uncle in the back to run down stairs and find the ring which I left in my purse without my sister noticing. You read that correctly. I left the ring in my purse down in the basement of the church and I needed my uncle to get it and secretly bring it to me. I am a charades genius and we have this all on tape. Watching the tape was the first time that my sister, new BIL, and parents even had a clue that anything was going on. The most impressive part is that the back of the church was a long ways away...have you been to a Cathedral?

Now I am sure that you thought this story could not get any better...but wait.

Problem #5...I almost passed out. I always thought that the whole pregnant woman passing out and finding out that she was pregnant was just an old wives tale. Not true. After the ring episode I was planning to spend the rest of the ceremony planning out how I was going to sneak apple juice into my champagne flute for the toast and suddenly I got very warm. I felt flushed and then chilled. The next thing I knew I started to weave slightly and I felt myself go pale. I knew I was in real trouble when I started to see everything in tunnel vision and I could hear the priest talking but it seemed very far away. The bridesmaid standing next to me took my sister's bouquet from me (which weighed 500 lbs) and asked if I was OK. I told her that no I don't think I was OK and she asked what she should do. (Right now you are thinking that you had no idea so much could go on during a wedding ceremony and no one notice...but no one did I assure you or in my family I would have never heard the end of it.) I stepped down to her level and kind of leaned on her slightly. All I kept thinking about was that I was going to pass out at my sister's wedding in a bridesmaid dress in front of everyone I knew and roll down the steps (there are seven of them). That wasn't even the worst thought going through my head....I was going to steal my sister's show. Through sure will power I made it through the ceremony and when my sister finally kissed her new husband and turned towards me to get her bouquet I could tell how pale I was because she got really scared. I told her to just go I was fine. The priest grabbed my hand and told me to breath. After a brief breathing exercise the best man "escorted/carried" me out to the back of the church to the bathroom. I splashed water on my face, sat down, and was feeling much better. My dear Dr. Heskett was on the other end of the groomsman and thus one of the last of the bridal party to get to the back of the church. He heard the photographer ask if the maid of honor was OK. Although it took a moment for Dr. Heskett to realize that the maid of honor was in fact his pregnant wife he finally made it to the bathroom. I of course was crying and afraid that EVERYONE now knew that I was pregnant.

The only person who even suggested such a thing the rest of the night was my 90 grandmother who simply said "I think it is a boy" and smiled. The rest of the night went off without a hitch (everyone just thought I was dehydrated) and was truly surprised three weeks later when we made the big announcement at Emily's 2nd birthday. The best part is the no one really knew how awkward things were until they saw the video which is hilarious. You can see it all...forgotten ring...weaving maid of honor about to pass out...it is awesome. Happy Totally Awkward Tuesdays!


Tova Darling said...

Oh my gosh!!! What a fantastic story!!! Wow... if I ever need a champion charades player, I'm calling you. I'm awfully glad you didn't pass out!!

Thanks for participating! :)

Julia said...

I just found your blog through Tova Darling's site.

I love that story, and would love to see that video!

Morgan the (Almost) Muse said...

That is a great story! This awkward tuesday thing is going to be great, if they are all like that. Maybe it will be therapeutic, as well? Hmm... I know what I shall write about, then. Have a great day, maybe somebody will put that video on AFV and you guys would win big? :D

Autumn Joy said...

I also found this blog through Tova's page. WONDERFUL story!!! I found myself holding my breath halfway through to see if you made it out ok lol.
Hi and Nice to meet you! :)


Adriana said...

Tova- I am totally there for charades...wait are you a good guesser?

Julia- If I were a little more technology savy I might attempt to post a video..unfortunately I'm not at all

Morgan- I agree...unloading some of the "awkward" things in my life help me to look back and laugh at myself a little more.

Adriana said...

Autumn- It's nice to meet you too and thanks for stopping by!

Cora said...

Oh my gosh, too funny! And I completely know what you mean about the Middle Child Syndrome. My sister is the middle child and goes through that too, always thinking no-one thinks her things are special. Any event she throws, I try sooo hard to keep quiet and not draw attention away from her. I'm glad to know that isn't happening in only my family! Maybe we non-middle siblings should form a support group. :-)

Thank you for stopping by my blog! Happy Holidays!