9.05.2017

Tough but not too tough Love


The start of the school year was a little different for us this year because we have a teenager starting middle school as a 7th grader.  For the past seven years our kids have gone to a Catholic elementary school which meant uniforms and much smaller schools and class sizes.  To say that I have been dreading middle school is such an understatement.  No one likes middle school.  It is just such an awkward stage in growing up and trying to find a balance between being independent and still needing a lot of guidance.

Emily is a great kid and she works so hard and wants to succeed.  She is taking pre AP classes and it is a little bit of a stretch for her academically.  Her elementary school prepares them well and we were advised to go ahead and try the harder level classes. So far for the most part it has gone well.  Until the end of last week.

Self discipline is something that Bret and I never excelled at.  We get the work done but procrastinate like pros.  School was never a huge challenge so we could usually get by with last minute except for those pesky classes that kept you from waiting until the last minute.  Deadlines, check-ins, practice logs, and attendance were never our strong suits and it kills me to say that already I can see Emily heading down that path.

She has to have 3-4 books read by the first deadline of one class and she as of Thursday last week she was 85 pages into her first book.  Needless to say a grade update of D- was a cold glass of water to the face.  Next came band class which Em loves and is pretty good at.  Except the consistent practice part.  Once again her practice logs resulted in a D grade update as well.

So we spent the long 4 day weekend in between family activities reading and practicing the sax.  This morning I got a frantic call from Emily because she left her practice log (that is due today) at home and needed me to bring it to her.  I took it too her and called when I got to the school and she didn't want to come get it bc she was worried she would be late.  Not my problem.  Either she came and got it or I took it home.  5 seconds later here she came sprinting out the building and back in with her log.

I went home feeling bad that I was too hard on her.  Bret said he understood and that what makes it so hard it that we know she is trying.  She is trying pretty hard and isn't purposely just not doing the work or not caring if she succeeds.  

We have high expectations for our kids but we are pretty reasonable too.  Emily cried this weekend telling us that she hates reading and is a slow reader and sometimes has to read things more than once.  She said she was going to fail the class.  My answer was maybe with that attitude and that if she did she would then lose her phone and be grounded.  So she kept reading.

Parenting is not for the faint of heart and I feel like the first two weeks of school has been pretty rough in our house.  Logan got sent to the Principal's office, Palmer got in trouble at home for having kids over when we were not home, and Emily has been struggling with school work.  Add that to exhausting schedules of cross country, football, and cheer and I am ready for a drink.  It is a roller coaster of highs (Em made the elite stunt she has been working so hard for in cheer, placed at her first cross country meet, Palmer made the baseball team he tried out for, and Logan turned his behavior around pretty drastically) and lows (tears the whole way home from an earlier in the week cheer practice because stunts were not hitting, low grades, Logan & the principal, Palmer got in trouble).  Two weeks of school people and I am ready to hide under the covers.  So we begin again with a shortened week and pray for grace and patience.



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