Sleeping Mom to the Rescue

When you first become a mom one of the hardest parts is the constant waking up in the middle of the night. Most people are used to sleeping through the night with little to no disturbances so this waking up every two to four hours is really really hard to get used to.

As your children get older you may not be woken up every night but you still get that middle of the night crying or now that my kids are walking they come into your room and wake you up. You never know when it is going to happen and you never know what it's going to be for. It could be a bad dream, a spider in their bed, an upset tummy, they threw up, they want to get into your bed, they want a drink of water, the list is endless.

It's not easy to be woken up and be ready to handle what ever is thrown at you. As I have told you before waking Bret up is like raising the dead so my kids from a very early age have learned to not even bother.

So in the wee hours of this morning there I was sleeping soundly in my new bed. The door opened and I heard the typical "mom?". It's a very distinct mom call that Emily makes when she knows she is waking me up. Immediately I am alert (OK so I'm kind of awake and praying that she didn't throw up cause that is the worst). She comes to my side of the bed and I vaguely remember her telling me that her blanket is stuck on her earring. I'm pretty sure it took her at least telling me twice what the problem was and even then I'm not sure it registered with my sleepy brain what I was supposed to do. Without even opening my eyes I figured out what she said untangled the blanket from her earring and told her goodnight.

She very gratefully went back to her bed and quickly fell back to sleep. Another night's sleep rescued by mom. I like to include this responsibility with other duties assigned that no one bothers to tell you about when first become a mom.

Shout no more

When I was in business school (mostly for my MBA) we talked a LOT about product loyalty. It was the mother load of sales. We studied why people form it, what increases it, how to obtain it, and how to change it. There was always something about it that fascinated me. Mostly because it had never occurred to me what all I was loyal to and why.

I like millions of other consumers have "try new things" fear. I hate spending money on things that I am not totally sure I am going to like...especially if there was nothing wrong with what I was using before. There are two things that will tempt me outside my box. A good deal and or the opinion of others I respect. Nothing gives me that little push to try a new cereal or type of soap or anything else than a sale or coupon.

The other part is the testimony of someone I trust. If my sister or close friend says that the new "xyz" is amazing and I HAVE to try it at some point I probably will especially if I'm not as thrilled with whatever I am using. So imagine my surprise when the other day I was talking to a friend of mine and was complaining about not being able to get some very stubborn stains out of some clothes. (Namely the sketch marks left from Palmer's fear of alligators *ahem*).

She said that she uses Spray & Wash and it works awesome. I have always been a Shout girl mostly because that is what my mom had always used. I will admit that there have been other times when I was less than thrilled with my Shout stain working abilities but I had assumed that the stains were just impossible to get out. Let's be honest here I am not one of those moms that work with tooth brushes or anything trying to get a stain out. I spray, wash, and if it comes out great, if not then oh well. In rare instances I have been know to let clothes soak in Oxyclean or something to get pesky stains out. So this weekend while grocery shopping I figured it was worth a shot when I saw that Spray & Wash was on sale.

I used the new stain release and I was amazed. I did nothing more than I normally do with my laundry and just sprayed the stains. Emily had a white shirt covered in Koolaid, white soccer socks with grass stains, and some kind of marker or blue paint all over the sleeves of a shirt. Palmer of course had his alligator fear stains, a shirt that I had failed to get something pink of the last time I washed/dried it, and a few other shirts with who knows what all over them. Bret also had a shirt with set in stains (white shirt of course) that he had gotten browned from carrying his golf clubs for 18 holes and sweated through like crazy. All of the stains came out. Even the set in ones. I was impressed and have officially converted after YEARS of using Shout. Thank you Julie!

Although I loath doing laundry it is fun to see things finally come clean.

*I was not paid to write this review for Spray & Wash...although if someone is interested in paying me to review their products please do not hesitate to contact me :)

Personal Cheer Squad

I was reading an article the other day that talked about how to praise your children. At first I thought it sounding kind of crazy but after reading the article it really got me thinking. What it talked about is how as parents we have a direct link to our children's self image. Kids want to please their parents so much that they subconsciously alter their behavior to receive our praise or avoid our criticism.

Kids that are over praised for everything have shown to choose less challenging activities to be more successful rather than challenging themselves. Kids that are criticized to harshly have problems with depression, self images, etc. Pretty big responsibility for parents to guide this path.

When it comes to a lot of areas in parenting Bret and I have had to find our way from opposite ends to the middle. I am hopeful that this gives our kids a nice balance. When it comes to praise it is no different. I tend to lavish the praise and Bret tends to give out the criticism. With Emily especially I can see how much we have both worked to find that middle ground. Instead of constantly telling Emily how awesome she is or how good a job she does at everything I work to keep my praise specific. I also try and help her identify areas for improvement. Bret has worked a lot at being more positive with his criticism. Emily recently started soccer and I over heard Bret coaching Emily between exercises. "Emily you are doing a really good job listening to the coach's directions, let's try and keep your ball closer to you so that you don't have to spend so much time chasing it all over the place."

So far I think that has been working for all of us. Emily's self confidence continues to soar but she also takes criticism well. When she colors a picture for us she is really proud when she can show that she stayed in the lines. Sometimes she will point out the areas outside the line and tell us "I got a little carried away". When we were outside the other day kicking the ball back and forth I heard her repeating some of the things Bret had told her that she needed to practice and work on.

This past Saturday was the first swimming lesson of the season (we have been off since August). Both of the kids have been in swim lessons for over a year and really love it. Emily has been in level two swim for almost the entire time. The jump between level two and three is pretty much once you know how to swim. Level one is the introductory to water so it goes to show that Emily is in limbo (not ready for lvl 3 but almost out of lvl 2). We always knew that swimming is one of those things where you just get it. Something just clicks and all of those things that you have to remember all come together. Emily is fearless in the water but has never really "swam" by herself either...until Saturday.

Palmer and I had just finished up the tot class and were sitting watching Emily's class. I almost came out of my seat when I saw Emily swim from the wall to the teacher and the teacher kept backing up. Then she turned around and swam back to the wall with no push or anything. She did it! She swam all by herself. I couldn't believe it. It was all I could do to not hoot and holler for her. When she reached the wall I could see she was looking for me with the biggest smile ever. She was so proud of herself and so was I. There is no greater feeling in the world than watching your kid doing something that makes you so proud.

Catch-up weekend

Although I'm not usually a big fan of Bret working on the weekends every now and then I really don't mind it that much. Why you ask?

Mostly it's because it gives me a chance to get get caught up around the house. I can clean, do laundry, and work on some crafty projects. The nice thing about living in a complex with lots of kids is that the kids are pretty good at self entertaining themselves with each other outside. It's not that when Bret is home I couldn't do these same things but it's different. When he's at work he's kind of out of the way. I appreciate his help when he is home (cause he does usually help...after me nagging at him) but I don't have to worry about what he is doing and to be honest I don't get resentful that he's not doing as much.

There is no better feeling then having a super clean house after the work you put into it. So this weekend is going to be spent at home just getting a few things done. We might take a trip to the orchard and pick apples tomorrow if the weather holds and we have swim lessons tomorrow morning. Otherwise I have no intention of going anywhere and it will be glorious. I have two netflix movies with my name on them for when the kids go to bed and a new book just waiting to be delved into. Not to mention I love the weather this time of year and the freshness of the house from having the windows open. I may even make bread this weekend. Is it five o'clock yet?

Is there a Dr in the house?

A few days ago one of the doctor's that Bret works with was on her way to a conference with a nurse practitioner that we are all friends with. The Dr. happened to be 36 weeks pregnant with her second child. The conference was in Florida and they had a plane change in Charlotte. You guessed it...as the plan was taking off from Charlotte the Dr.'s water broke. The plane had to be turned around for an emergency landing. The Dr.'s husband sped to Charlotte from here in PA and made it just barely in time for the baby to born. Crazy.

What's really funny about this story is that similar stories have happened in the past few years with other Ob's or their wives. It's always the second or third baby and they always "don't make it" or just barely make it in time for delivery. Of all people you would think OB's would have figured it out by now.

One resident had to deliver his wife's baby in the car on the way to the hospital, and one went home for just one last weekend (3 hours away) to visit family and ended up having twins in her hometown.

I was talking to a few of the other resident's last night and we were laughing about it but in all honesty all of them admitted to being caught in the "almost not making it to the hospital" loop their next pregnancy (they all have one already).

I think the problem is a couple different things. First they know the stats. Chances of going into labor 4 weeks before your due date when you have had no complications are actually pretty small. So you think "what's the worst that can happen" while weighing the risks. The other issue is that these are people that don't want to go to the hospital too early or before they absolutely have to. Most women would agree that laboring at home is far better than in a hospital room. You think you know how long it is going to take and you want to wait until just until you HAVE to go. The problem is that there is a very small window once you reach that point. You may be laboring along just fine and then boom your water breaks and the next thing you know you are ready to be pushing. Second babies can come very quickly and this is where some of the residents got caught unprepared.

I don't think this will be a problem for us. For one thing we live less than 10 minutes from the hospital. I'm pretty sure that with Bret driving we could be there in less than five. Also because I am going to be a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-sect) I am higher risk for complications so at the first signs of active labor (aka consistent timed contractions) Bret will be insisting that we head to the hospital so that I can be monitored closely.

I think it's ironic that OB's that advise moms everyday on when to head to the hospital are proving that they rarely listen to their own advice.

Pulling your weight

Dear Bret,

I was going to write this letter to you yesterday but realized I was still pretty ticked off and didn't want this letter to come off as "bitchy". Instead I just wanted to remind you of a couple of things and make a few requests.

Please don't make me be your mom. Nothing against MIL but I have two small children already that need constant reminders of what they need to be doing around the house. You are an adult and should not need me to constantly ask you to put your dirty clothes in the laundry hamper, take out the trash when it is full, or to change Lulu's cage when you can smell it the moment you walk in the door. At least helping cook dinner a few nights a week and doing the kids' bath time/bedtime routine once in a while is not too much to ask. In the 6+ years that we have been married there has always been an unstated agreement between the two of us as to what your part of "helping around the house" meant. Nothing has changed.

You doing these things after me asking you three times and finally getting upset is not "you helping around the house" and I am tired of constantly nagging. I have not once in the three times that I have been pregnant used my pregnancy as an excuse but it would be nice if you didn't act like going downstairs and carrying the clean laundry that I just washed upstairs so that I can fold and put it away was the biggest inconvenience of your day.

I almost cried the other day I was so happy to come home to a clean house when I had to work and you had the day off. I won't point out that it was the first time you have done the dishes (since we don't have a dishwasher) since we have moved to PA because I am just thrilled that you took the time to do it not because you wanted it to be clean (cause that will never happen) but because you knew it would make me happy.

I know that I have been a little *ahem* sensitive about oh, everything the last few weeks (remember the acorn?) but things at home would be a little less stressful for me if you could try and help (just the normal amount...no need to over do it) out around the house.

Love,

Adriana

The Poop Alligators

Palmer is doing awesome when it comes to peeing in the potty chair (or outside). He just goes without even telling you that he needs to. He is pretty much potty trained. On the other hand the kid REFUSES to poop on the pot.

We have tried everything. We have tried rewards, bribes, threats, spankings, making him clean it up himself, forcing him to sit for extended periods of time, and consistently getting him to sit and try. In his lifetime he has pooped on the potty a total of two times ever and both of those times were by complete accident and he about freaked out.

It has been three months since we began his training and we are at our wit's end. We don't know what to do. We thought that if we just hung in there it would just occur to him one day. We are no longer so sure. Literally he will sit on the pot forever and cry pretty much the entire time just to finally be allowed to get up and poop immediately in his pants or sometimes on the floor. ARGH!!

During one of the "force him to sit on the pot b/c we know he has to poop" episodes Bret tried to talk to him about why he wouldn't poop on the pot. Bret asked if he was afraid to poop in the potty and Palmer said yes. Bret asked what he was a afraid of and his response was the alligators are going to get him. WTH?!?

During another one of these conversations we talked about where everyone poops. I asked him where daddy poops and he said "in the potty", where does Emily poop and he said "in the potty". I then asked him where does mommy poop and he said "mommy poops?" with a very serious incredulous face that only a two year old can produce. Ah the mysteries that surround mommies.

I have read everything I can get my hands on about potty training. (For you not yet mommies it is incredible the number of articles, books, videos, etc made that tries to teach you how to potty train your child) and pretty much the conclusion is the same....he will get it in time or when he is ready. I know they say boys are harder and that poop is just harder but we are so tired of trying. He is by far one of the most stubborn kids I have ever met. There is no getting around the fact that we cannot force him to poop in the potty chair and that when he is good and ready he will go forth and poop.

Going Through Withdrawl

So I mentioned a few months ago that we had shut our cable off. Yep that's right no TV in the Heskett household. We have netflix and occasionally we can (with permission) use the wireless internet of a neighbor.

The intent of our original choice to unplug was to see how the summer went. This served a couple of purposes. First it allowed us to spend some much needed time together as a family playing games, going for walks, and anything beside watching TV for the those few precious hours together in the evenings. I am not sure either Bret or I ever planned for it to be a permanent choice. The other reason we decided to unplug was because of the bill. We had originally signed up for a promotional package deal (phone, internet, cable) and when it expired the monthly cost skyrocketed. We figured if nothing else shutting off the cable for a few months would allow us to figure out what we wanted and possibly sign up for a new promo package to get through for the next year and a half.

To be completely honest we haven't missed it. Yes it was sad the first week when the kids would come home from school and sit in the living room staring at a blank TV wondering when daddy was going to "fix it" but it didn't take long for them to rediscover "playing" outside and the many many toys that hadn't been touched in forever. It's kind of funny to watch how much they treasure time with the TV when we stay in hotels or visit family or friends. They go right back to sitting in front of it for as LONG as possible. However, I don't honestly think they miss it very much at home. They have adjusted to a new norm and when they need a fix they have tons of movies they can watch.

Bret and I, on the other hand, are a different story. Although we survived the summer (oh how I long for the new season of True Blood and other HBO/Showtime shows to come out on DVD) we are both definitely feeling the pangs of no cable. Bret has tried watching his precious football games on the Internet, at the bar, listening to the radio, and watching updates from his phone. It's just not the same. I keep seeing sneak peeks for my favorite fall shows and some new exciting ones and it makes me sigh.

It has come down to weighing the pro's and con's for us. While we love the money we are saving (aka paying off debt) for the most part our entertainment budget is pretty small and there isn't a lot we use it for. Yes Bret and I enjoy the occasional date night out (with of course a babysitter) but otherwise a movie with the kids now and then about covers it. We love the "idea" of not having cable but the reality is that Bret and I miss it tremendously and are not sure how much longer we want to go without. If that makes us shallow then so be it. I am just not sure I can handle trying to watch the season premiers of my favorite shows the next day on my lunch hour along with millions of other trying to download at the same time (read: SLOW feed) and that is just for the shows that have full episodes on line (hello why can't I watch Biggest Loser online?)

We shall see what happens. It's a lot harder of a choice than I ever thought it would be.

No Prize for First in Line

When I was pregnant the first time I was the first of our friends. Most of our friends were not married but in serious relationships. Now over five year later they are finally starting to catch up...sort of. While I am pregnant with my third baby most of them are now pregnant with their first or trying to get pregnant.

In some ways it makes me kind of sad. There are so many wonderful things about your first pregnancy. The excitement of not knowing what to expect, showers, registering, new stuff, watching your body change for the first time, and all of the many many other firsts (first time you hear a heartbeat, see a sonogram, feel the baby kick, etc).

On the other hand there are a lot of things I would not want to have to do over again. The FEAR for one. Not that I'm not a little worried about having a third baby to juggle but I was literally terrified for most of my first pregnancy. I didn't know how to be a mom. Bret and I had little experience with babies and felt completely unprepared. I remember one night I was crying because I was worried about how the baby would change Bret and I's relationship. I wasn't sure how we would manage finding time for each other and if we would still love each other as much.

This time around is so much different and in a lot of ways better. There is very little to no fear about being a mom. So far Emily and Palmer seem to be doing OK. Bret and I's marriage and love has never been stronger. I understand now that seeing him be such a great dad has only made my love for him grow beyond what I ever imagined it could be. The new stuff is just stuff. I have a better idea about the things that I want and need. Since I have so much of the basics I can spoil myself with the extras.

One of the hardest parts of having lots of friends being pregnant for the first time is to keep my mouth shut. Every pregnancy is different and so is every baby. Most importantly so is every mom. One friend plans on cloth diapering, another wants to have a shower after the baby is born instead of before, another wants to use all organic products, others have no desire to nurse what so ever, and one mom made all of her baby's blankets, burp clothes, crib bedding, curtains, etc. Sometimes their choices match my own and sometimes they are completely opposite. That is OK. It's hard to not take their choices personally. Not that they automatically judge me but it feels weird. I worry about things like "what if organic really is so much better for the baby" or "am I a bad person for using disposable diapers or is it going to come back to haunt my baby down the road"? While I usually make a few things for the new baby (blankets, burp clothes, etc) I wonder if I'm short changing this one since it's my third. I remember walking into my friend who made everything for her baby's nursery and thinking to myself "wow, my kid has a crib in our room".

I know that as a parent you have to decide what works best for you and your baby. Hormones don't help this effort at all. Everywhere you look people judge. When I stayed home people wondered why I couldn't get a job to help support our family and when I work people express concern about the effects of letting daycare "raise" my kids. I think the reason we are such harsh critics is because we feel criticized ourselves. We (moms) need to collectively agree to stop the judging. Is the child(ren) safe, loved, and taken care of? Then enough said. How that happens is none of our business. We continue to not use special detergent, not go out of our way to buy organic, I will nurse until I or the baby want to stop, contribute to the landfills with way to many disposable diapers, and although I love making things for the baby most likely it will get mostly hand-me downs from my first two. It's OK. Yes it kind of sucks that FIVE of us will be living in a 2 bedroom apartment but it's not forever. To my kids it is simply home because we live there.

Coughin Fall In

With the drop in temperature and the change of the leaves also comes the inevitable cold and flu season. With two kids in daycare, Bret working at the hospital, and me working at a college we are constantly exposed to just about everything you can think about that might be passed around.

Just over a week ago I started waking up with a slightly sore throat which turned into a cough which turned into a full blown cold over the weekend when we were back in KS. Someone once told me that stress, lack of sleep, etc only exaggerates your symptoms because your immune system is not up to par to begin with. As I am just now finally starting to see some relief I totally believe them. Emily was feeling a lesser effect of the same cold about the same time as I was.

So of course as it always goes we so lovingly have shared our fun experience with Bret and Palmer. So starting on about Monday Bret started to get some of the same things I was just starting to get over. By last night you would have thought he had something much much worse. I am not sure if he just has a weaker immune system or if it's just his ability to deal with being sick but the poor baby thought he was just dying last night. It's hard to have sympathy. Bret doesn't necessarily look for "sympathy" more like he wants a pass. He doesn't feel good so he can't manage helping with dinner, clean up, watching the kids, or helping with the bed time routine. Wait...where was my pass?

The one thing I hated most about staying home with the kids was that there were no "sick days" for mom. No matter how hard I begged Bret to stay home a couple of times when I was really sick (read stomach flu) he wouldn't/couldn't and I was stuck trying to take care of the kids anyways. Now that the kids are in daycare if I'm really sick I can leave them there during the day and actually take a sick day at home to rest and recoup.

As much as I love my husband and I know that there are lots of things that he is much better at or can handle better but being sick or in pain is definitely not one of them. Bret knows this too. We laughed the other day when we were talking about dealing with kidney stones. Bret was upfront about the fact that he would have been in the hospital pronto and hooked up the most powerful pain killers allowed. So instead I am relieved that my cold is going away finally and am very hopeful that Bret's won't stick around for quite as long (I'm not sure I could take it either:).

Pretty in Pink

My grandmother passed away in the arms of my aunt on Thursday Sept 10th. Bret worked some serious magic at work (by trading call and his clinic day) and was able to leave after 10am on Friday but had to be back at work Tuesday morning. While relieved that we could in fact go back to KS it also meant we had to fly since driving when the funeral was on Monday was not an option.

People wonder why we drive instead of fly. Besides the cost (it costs about twice as much to fly) we have pretty crummy luck with flying. Case in point it our flight was delayed out of Philly for 4 hours causing us to miss our connecting flight by less than five minutes (of course we ran about a mile with our suitcases and small children...well Bret ran with the suitcases and I walked very quickly as the children ran across the airport). So we got stuck overnight in Atlanta. UGH.

My grandmother had made her own funeral arrangements a few years ago. She had paid for and picked everything out for herself. She also left clear directions as to who was to be pallbearers, what songs, flowers, etc. It was nice to know that everything was as she wanted it to be. It was also nice that with such a large family there were no hard feelings because the choices she made were hers. Bret was surprised to be asked to be a pallbearer as was I.

One of the things that Bret and I had talked about was what to do with the kids. We decided to take them with us to both the rosary and funeral. Emily knew that Grandma Francy had died and understood what to expect. Both the rosary and funeral were closed casket however my aunt offered anyone who wanted to see GM the opportunity after the rosary and visitation were over. I knew that I wanted to see her and I really wanted Bret to be with me. Another close family member was very clear in that they did NOT want to see her and offered to watch my children in the back of the home in a different room when the casket was opened.

However, after several people saw GM and made comments about how good she looked the relative changed their mind. My kids were kind of left in the care of others (although not clearly told to "watch the kids") so of course they started running around playing. It only took a few moments for them to see GM. At first I was upset and really unsure of how seeing GM would affect Emily.

She went up to her and I stood closely behind her. Emily's comments broke my heart but in a good way. Emily said that Grandma Francy looked so pretty and that she was glad that she was wearing her favorite pink dress. She looked at me and I could see relief in her eyes as she told me that there was no blood and that Grandma Francy looked like she was sleeping very well. I was very surprised to her Emily mention blood and it wasn't until that moment that I realized that Emily's ideas of what happened or what she looked like were scary to her and that her seeing GM was a very good thing.

I read somewhere that death used to be all around. A close family member died in the home and was laid for visits in the home. Eventually that changed and it was moved into hospitals, nursing homes, and hospices. This moved caused it to be more distant and distance causes less openness. Children are shielded from it which makes it scary. I am relieved that Emily's first experience with death has been OK. She cried at one point and told me that she was really going to miss hugging Grandma Francy because she was a really good hugger. I told Emily that I was going to miss that too but that it was OK to miss it and to talk about it. While our missing of her has only just begun I have a sense of piece that she is with my grandfather once again and with our Lord looking down on us.

Tell GP I said hi

Grandpa is coming for Grandma
We all know it...we all feel it
Just as the sun can be felt through a windowpane
Grandpa's presence comes here time and time again
Day by day he comes
And he lingers by her side
He waits for death to claim her
When heartbeat and breath subside
He sees her fight the battle
We know she just can't
And tells her to be brave and strong
She'll soon be with him again
He gently takes her hand in his
The softest of touches he makes
Grandpa's spirit gently caresses her skin
As he touches his sweetheart's face
On occasion Grandma can feel him now
How wonderful it seems!
A moment's rest through this battle stage
Like a sweet and beautiful dream
And for one brief moment she forgets her pain
And feels much like a young new bride
She yearns to see Grandpa's face again
To never leave his side
So whil we wait through the days and hours
'Til the dreaded goodbye must come
Grandpa waits with growing excitement
He's been withour her far too long
Grandpa understands the sorrow we feel
For we also once mourned him in grief
He stands by our side to lend us support
And hopes we'll find comfort and peace..."
"And when that final, sacred moment came
Grandma slipped just beyond our grasp
And Grandpa embraced her with open arms
Welcoming her home at last..."

-Author Unknown

Prayers

My dad called this afternoon. He wanted to tell me that he, my uncle, my aunt, and two of my cousins were all at the nursing home with my grandmother. She is not doing well. When he told me I was OK. I thought about how I wished I could be there in the comfort of my family and I also thought about how I know she is going to be OK. I want her to be at peace. Peace of mind and body. To finally be able to rest.

My dad couldn't get a hold of my sister. She is a teacher and probably had her phone off so I sent her an email to let her know what was going on. Even writing that out was OK. She asked me if she should go and I didn't know what to tell her. I told her to call dad and find out more about what was going on and to let me know.

It wasn't until I paged Bret and he called me back that things started to sink in. Just saying the words out loud was so much harder than hearing it or thinking about it. I could barely breath the words for Bret to understand. Bret was quiet and said that he was sorry. He told me to call if anything changes and that he would see me tonight. It was enough.

I am thinking about her and sending love, warm thoughts, and prayers her way. Whether she recovers for today or not her spirit will never leave me and I couldn't have loved her any more than I always have and always will.

Finding the right pieces

For the last 5 years I have sewed each of the kids' Halloween costumes. This year I have opted out....of at least the major sewing project. After many many conversations and leaning one way and then the other both of the kids have decided what they want to be this year and I couldn't be more excited.

Palmer wants to be a firefighter. Very simple and cliche but he loves fire trucks and is very into firefighters. I am certain that we can put together an awesome costume for him and I have already found lots of ideas online on how to make the costume myself.

Emily wants to be Mary Poppins. She LOVES Mary Poppins and always has. Bret and I were a little surprised that she didn't go with the ever so popular princess or Hannah Montana but that just tells you a lot about Emily. So I have made a list of what all she will need to make this a great costume. I am actually a little excited about hunting for each of the pieces that will make this an awesome costume. Things like the right black umbrella, carpet bag, and hat that will should "MARY POPPINS" here. I think the part I like the most about these ideas is that I still get to create their costumes instead of just buying them but without the pressure of sewing difficult patterns together.

I have no worries that if I can't find a carpet bag that will work I can buy some upholstery material and handles and make something that will work just fine. This will double as her trick or treat bag as well. In the mean time I will hunt through e-bay, craigslist, and of course the thrift shops in town. I'm still not sure what Bret and I are going to be. We want to do something funny since I'm prego. The cool weather and promise of fall has me itching to get out all of my fall/Halloween decorations a little early this year. Not to mention the fun DIY tutorials that are popping up on everyone's blog.

Emily the Baby Watcher

We went and spent part of this weekend with some friends of ours that happen to have 3 month old twin girls. Needless to say Emily was in Heaven. She LOVES babies and twin baby girls were just the cherry on top of the sunday.

I was impressed at how long she stay interested...meaning that she didn't want to go play with the other kids even after holding and feeding each of them as often as she could. The babies have little swings that they sat in when not being held and Emily would sit in between them just watching.

Every time one of the babies would stretch or yawn in their sleep Emily would run to their mom and say "I think that they are hungry" or "I think they need a diaper change". It was cute. I loved watching her try and feed the baby and get used to the way the bottle would sit as they ate. Emily kept rubbing their heads and kissing them. At one point she looked up at me and smiled saying "just think mom, we are going to have one just like this". I am glad she is so excited.

Palmer on the other hand could have cared less about the babies. These friends live in a very rural town in the PA mountains and had quite a bit of land around their house. Palmer enjoyed riding 4-wheelers, the fact that we camped out, having a camp fire, and most importantly learning to pee outside. The only problem was that yesterday when he got out of the truck he had his pants down on our busy street trying to pee right there. It's hard to explain to a 2 year old why he can pee outside in the woods but not in the front yard of our apt building. Ah..the joys of potty training.

Go Wildcats!

Football, cool weather, jeans, light jackets, football, Halloween decor, back to school, Homecoming, football, and the oh so yummy smells of fall foods are starting to drift our way. I don't really have a favorite season. I just love them all.

There are a lot of things that I wasn't really crazy about growing up in Kansas but one of the things that I was in love with was the change in seasons. PA has amazing seasons as well. The color of the leaves will take your breath away.

Although the first day of Autumn is not technically until the 22nd of September the start of football season for our family has always marked the true beginning. When living in KS we were regulars at the Kansas State Football home games. As students we never missed a single game and planned our weekends around the tailgating activities as well. Although we personally were never season ticket holders once graduated we always "knew" enough people to get tickets to just about every home game.

There was nothing like the smell of charcoal early in the morning, drinking mimosa/beer/mixed drinks/etc, and the oh so yummy food (chili, hot dogs, casseroles, dips, etc, etc) with the electric atmosphere of everyone excited for the big game. For us K-Staters the color of choice was of course purple. We bleed purple and never before will you have seen the sea of purple as thousands of fans enjoy a great day before the game even began.

Our last year living in KS I was pregnant (about as pregnant as I am now) with Palmer. Emily was just over 2 years old and was the proudest K-State fan you had ever seen. Dressed in her cheer leading outfit, tattoos on her cheeks, pompoms ready to go, and her hair all decked out she was READY. She loved going to the games as much as we did. Having been invited onto the field several times she felt that Willie the Wildcat was her personal friend. Knowing the different songs that the band played and the rituals that came with them was one of her finest moments. There was even a time Emily had an entire section of the crowd cracking up as she heckled the opposing team's mascot all on her own (I believe it was the Louisville cardinals and she was say "YUCKY BIRD!!!" at the top of her lungs) much to her proud father's delight.

We miss going to the games and also being able to watch them regularly on TV. There a few scheduled games we are planing to watch online and we still dress in our purple every game day. This season is pretty important to K-State fans. Bill Snyder, our legendary past coach, retired 3 years ago. After 3 miserable heart wrenching seasons Coach Snyder has returned to rebuild what was during his time one of the greatest comeback teams in the history of college football. It will take time to rebuild but the best part about the start of the season is that the sky is the limit.

Instead this weekend we are going camping. Nothing says fall better than homemade cinnamon rolls so until late last night that is exactly what I did. As I packed jackets, hooded sweatshirts, and of course marshmallows I was reminded of how we used to spend our Saturdays and the comfort that I found in the reminder that only a few more years and we will be right back in the thick of it. Hopefully by that time Snyder will have our back on top. GO K-STATE!

What's One More?

So TLC's super sized family the Duggars are expecting again. I have been surprised at the rather harsh criticism they have received on their news. People are outraged and being very mean in their opinions that enough is enough. I have heard comments that they are using their children to make money off of TLC and that having a large family is easy for Michelle & Jim Bob because the older children are responsible for the younger ones which is neglectful to them. The older children should be let to be children and not such young parents.

I am not sure that I am on the "have 10 more kids if you want them" wagon yet but I do feel strongly that we should step back and think about our criticism for a second. There are millions of children much younger than the eldest Duggar kids forced to be mini adults. In their case it is because their parents FAIL to be parents. The poverty stricken youth whose parents are sometimes so addicted to drugs that children 7, 8, 9 or older are forced to take care of younger siblings and themselves. Or single parents who are forced to work multiple jobs so that they are able to keep a roof over their heads who are also never available are letting their children raise themselves.

Years ago in our grandparents' generation it was expected that the older children take care of the younger ones and no one argued abuse. Other cultures are the same. Here in Amish/Mennonite country is not uncommon to have large families and the older female siblings are most often responsible for tending to the care of the younger children. It goes without saying that I, coming from a Catholic background am surrounded by large families. One of my closest friends is Mormon and has six children. For our parent's generation six children was common. I get exhausted for him just listening to the comments he CONSTANTLY receives from everyone about how many kids that they have. He has a great job and his wife stays home. They make sacrafices to support their family but that is their choice. What business of yours if they decide to have one more. You would be surprised what people actually have said to him.

At the end of the day I feel like we still refuse to acknowledge that we victimize the victim. Women who have multiple children with multiple fathers that are unable to care for them in any way (due to poverty, mental health, drugs, etc) are never told to "STOP HAVING BABIES" because that would be offensive, derogatory, and possibly discriminative. However an extremely large family that is self sustaining (long before TLC ever entered their lives) and yet outside of the "mainstream" is constantly criticized.

I think this touches a nerve for me because we want a big family (not 19 kids but big in today's standards) and yet people volunteer criticism even to us. Good thing we don't give a damn what others think and neither do the Duggars.

Organizing to be Organized

With the start of the new school year I have noticed that a lot of bloggers are posting their plans to get their household in order. I love the ideas about household management binders, duties/chore boards, online personal assistants, etc, etc. I had a "mommy planner" that I maintained for about....a week (or two maybe). Don't laugh until you try it :)

I have also purchased calendars in the past with the intention of having a family calendar. As I read all the details about what these moms were putting into these projects I started to ask myself...am I just creating more work?

I have my calendar at work in which I keep a lot on. Things like meetings, deadlines, appointments (even personal ones like doctor's, etc) are all kept on this calendar. I set reminders for myself and rely heavily on it to know what my day will entail.

However I find myself writing reminders to myself on random scraps of paper at home. I have my grocery list on the back of a bill envelope and the menu for the week on a sticky note at work. The phone number for Emily's new piano teacher is somewhere and luckily I have her soccer info in an email. Since Palmer is still pretty new to the "activity" world I am lucky to just have Emily. Bret's call and stay late schedule is on the fridge and most of our bills are paid online (although the paper ones are on the desk, in my car, in my purse, etc). As I write this I realize that it would be nice if I had some sort of system or at least something that kept everything in one place.

I have recognized a big weakness in myself. I put things off. It's not that I like the feeling of panic and rush. I don't. It's more that there are always barriers that keep me from wanting to accomplish a certain task. For example I hate putting laundry away. Not because I just don't like doing laundry (b/c I don't) because I hate putting it away MUCH more than washing, drying, hanging it out to dry, or folding. I hate putting it away because there is never enough space to get it all to fit. Our closets are tiny, the drawers in the dressers are packed. I think about where is it all going to go and then I realize that this barrier is keeping me from wanting to tackle the laundry. I tend to fold and keep it in the hampers forever before putting it all way. The kids have plenty of room so their laundry is always put away. Weird huh?

So the boundaries for me to get an organization system in place is 1) the time to do it and 2) the commitment to keep at it. After the first rush of getting everything written into my mommy planner the hassle of trying to keep everything written down was no longer fun...just another chore for mommy. The time it takes me to do this at the time feels better spent somewhere else. So instead I just sigh. I longingly think about the fun it would be to pick out the supplies to use and how handy it would be after the fact but in reality I am not sure that at least for the time being I am ready to be give up my "unorganized" way of getting things done...yet.

So tell me what works and doesn't work for you. Am I alone in my desire to be more organized but faced with the reality of noncommitment?