My dad called this afternoon. He wanted to tell me that he, my uncle, my aunt, and two of my cousins were all at the nursing home with my grandmother. She is not doing well. When he told me I was OK. I thought about how I wished I could be there in the comfort of my family and I also thought about how I know she is going to be OK. I want her to be at peace. Peace of mind and body. To finally be able to rest.

My dad couldn't get a hold of my sister. She is a teacher and probably had her phone off so I sent her an email to let her know what was going on. Even writing that out was OK. She asked me if she should go and I didn't know what to tell her. I told her to call dad and find out more about what was going on and to let me know.

It wasn't until I paged Bret and he called me back that things started to sink in. Just saying the words out loud was so much harder than hearing it or thinking about it. I could barely breath the words for Bret to understand. Bret was quiet and said that he was sorry. He told me to call if anything changes and that he would see me tonight. It was enough.

I am thinking about her and sending love, warm thoughts, and prayers her way. Whether she recovers for today or not her spirit will never leave me and I couldn't have loved her any more than I always have and always will.


Bea said...

I'm sorry to hear this. Your last sentence is so eloquent. It's clear you love her deeply and I'm sure she can feel that love, even if you aren't there.

Hugs to you and prayers for your family.

Randi said...

Ooh, I know how hard that is. Especially when you can't be there. I'll be praying for your family.