All bad history aside it was great to see how excited my kids were to see their grandparents last night. Their plane came in on time and we managed to fight the Philly holiday chaos without too much trouble. Both kids were ecstatic to see their grandparents and had many plans for them too.
This week one of the attending physicians gave Emily the biggest gingerbread house kits I have ever seen. She was so excited to put it together that I thought she would savagely rip it open right there. Instead she decided that her grandmother would be the perfect choice to help with this project. Hubs and I couldn't agree more. Who if not grandma could have the patience to help a four year old build something that is deemed challenging for most adults. Besides this fun fun project Emily has mentioned making cookies, going for walks, meeting her teachers and friends at school, watching movies, playing with her dolls, playing with Lulu (our bunny), and reading an endless number of books. This is just for today. Even though Bret and I tried to keep the kids quite and still this early morning to let his parents get just a few more moments of sleep it was a fruitless task. The moment Palmer was free he and Emily literally ran for their room and was in their bed discussing the list of fun things to do today while his parents were still trying to figure out whose cold feet where wiggling into the covers. I don't think they knew what hit them let alone what they were in for. Emily was over joyed when she found out that both Bret and I were working today and that they would have their grandparents all to themselves for the day.
I laugh even as I write this post because I love to see the mutual excitement in both my children and Bret's parents. They are amazed at how much the children have grown and at how excited they are to see them. I also laugh because I remember this joy with my own grandparents. My sister and I were always in bed with my grandfather first thing in the morning. We used every bribe imaginable to get him up (coffee, bacon, helping with his socks and shoes) and he would patiently entertain our endless amount of excited chatter (where did you think Emily got her love of the English language from). Grandma let us help with everything. We got to pour the pancake batter, cut out the cookies and lick the spoon. Grandma had fun projects to keep us busy and grandpa always had surprises. He would take us into town and buy us a big bag of candy from the little one room grocery store. Grandma would send us off with warnings about not spoiling our supper so GP would graciously hide the wrappers in his pocket. On holidays GP would spend the day sitting on a chair in the kitchen managing the workers once he got to old to cook himself. He would taste everything and it always needed a little bit more salt. GM would work herself ragged and had made us girls little aprons to make us feel important. These memories I will treasure always and it makes me miss them both so much.
I am truly thankful that my kids get to make the same priceless memories with their grandparents that both Bret and I got to have with ours. I will try and post pictures of the famous gingerbread house when I get a chance. In the meantime stay tuned for my very important BF update as I will be listing the website I most frequently use and my list of the best of 2008 deals. Cheers!
11.26.2008
11.25.2008
A Year Older
As mentioned in previous posts I love birthdays. However, I have always regarded mine as different. I think it was when I turned 25 that I started to have those scary thoughts of "I'm getting older". In many regards I am not where I thought I would be and have yet to accomplish much of what I would like. However, in my 28 years I have experienced, grown, laughed, cried, and made some pretty incredible memories. So in the style that is very much me, here is a list of the 28 most important/proudest/happiest moments of my life so far (in no particular order)
1. When I graduated from college (both MBA & BS)
2. The day I said "I do" to my best friend Bret
3. The day Emily was born
4. The day Palmer was born
5. When Bret took his oath to become a doctor
6. The day Bret asked me to marry him
7. When we bought our first house
8. When I found out I was pregnant with Palmer
9. Bret, Emily, Palmer, and I went to the beach just the four of us and spent the day running through the waves and playing in the sand
10. When we found out Palmer was a boy in our first sonogram
11. Emily's first dance recital
12. the father daughter dance at my wedding...the first and probably only time I danced with my dad
13. My 18th birthday when I got my purple neon
14. When I got hired at WSU over an internal candidate that was probably more qualified
15. When we took our kids to Disney World and they met their hero's
16. I broke into semifinals at the national debate tournament and got a metal
17. Qualifying for nationals in student congress my senior year
18. When my girlfriends and I went out and got so drunk our husbands had to come pick us up
19. When we rushed the Kstate football field b/c we beat Nebraska for the first time in a long time
20.When I realized how much Bret loved me b/c he was willing to give up everything to go back to KS so that I would be happy
21. The first time each of my children told me they loved me on their own not because I said it first or they were coaxed too...but b/c they knew what it meant and that they felt that way towards me..their mom
22. When I realized that if I stopped fighting God's plan and started to embrace it...the load really did lighten
23. When my sister and I stopped fighting and resenting each other and became best friends
24. Watching Bret try and make my birthday special each year (this year he and Emily made an angel food cake)
25. Buying Bret a surprise truck for med school graduation and seeing his reaction
26. Meeting each of my close girlfriends
27. The day my grandmother held Emily for the first time and cried tears of joy
28. The day I over heard Emily telling her friends that her mom was "the best cooker ever"
1. When I graduated from college (both MBA & BS)
2. The day I said "I do" to my best friend Bret
3. The day Emily was born
4. The day Palmer was born
5. When Bret took his oath to become a doctor
6. The day Bret asked me to marry him
7. When we bought our first house
8. When I found out I was pregnant with Palmer
9. Bret, Emily, Palmer, and I went to the beach just the four of us and spent the day running through the waves and playing in the sand
10. When we found out Palmer was a boy in our first sonogram
11. Emily's first dance recital
12. the father daughter dance at my wedding...the first and probably only time I danced with my dad
13. My 18th birthday when I got my purple neon
14. When I got hired at WSU over an internal candidate that was probably more qualified
15. When we took our kids to Disney World and they met their hero's
16. I broke into semifinals at the national debate tournament and got a metal
17. Qualifying for nationals in student congress my senior year
18. When my girlfriends and I went out and got so drunk our husbands had to come pick us up
19. When we rushed the Kstate football field b/c we beat Nebraska for the first time in a long time
20.When I realized how much Bret loved me b/c he was willing to give up everything to go back to KS so that I would be happy
21. The first time each of my children told me they loved me on their own not because I said it first or they were coaxed too...but b/c they knew what it meant and that they felt that way towards me..their mom
22. When I realized that if I stopped fighting God's plan and started to embrace it...the load really did lighten
23. When my sister and I stopped fighting and resenting each other and became best friends
24. Watching Bret try and make my birthday special each year (this year he and Emily made an angel food cake)
25. Buying Bret a surprise truck for med school graduation and seeing his reaction
26. Meeting each of my close girlfriends
27. The day my grandmother held Emily for the first time and cried tears of joy
28. The day I over heard Emily telling her friends that her mom was "the best cooker ever"
11.21.2008
we are family....I got all my...
Family. I think that when you say your wedding vows your parents should have vows that they have to say to.
"I MIL & FIL take you DIL/SIL as one of our own. I promise to remember your birthday and invite you to holiday gatherings. I promise to offer support while not judging. I promise to never broach the topics of money, sex, and how you raise your children. I promise to love those children and spoil them rotten. As long as you both are married."
My in-laws come into town on Tuesday (my birthday) and will be staying with us for a week. I am genuinely glad that they are coming. They came a little less than a year ago for a long weekend. While I thought the trip went fine I think they thought otherwise. While there were here I took them to the mall to shop. While there I suddenly started to feel very bad. (I think I mentioned this situation in a previous post) I broke out into the worst case of hives that I have ever had. I ended up having to take steroids to get rid of them. My entire body was covered and swollen and I was miserable. Although most commonly they come from an allergic reaction they can sometimes be caused by stress. We had not changed anything in our laundry care, etc so who knows what it was. My MIL swears that it was them visiting that caused the episode. Most likely I was allergic to something they were wearing or using. Either way there is some concern about this trip. However, as I have pointed out I am working now (not home with them all day) and we have a lot planned this time.
We spent last Thanksgiving with our new closest friends here and it was wonderful. We cooked a feast for 20 even though there were four adults and two kids and ate until we were ill. It was quiet but very nice. This year these close friends are expecting their first baby on.....my birthday. As my own private in house resident has informed me, less than 10% of women actually deliver on their due dates. I am still hopeful to share my date with a new little one. So far so good as she has not delivered yet. Because of her condition and the timing of everything all of their family is coming here for the holidays so spending a quiet holiday with them is kind of out. Besides my MIL is a fabulous cook and I am happy that she is going to help cook.
In the ten years that I have known my MIL we have come a long way. Our relationship has grown over time into one of respect and warm regards. We are not anywhere close to BFF nor do I carry illusions of this ever having. I have a mom and she has a daughter...we are good in that regard. I think that the struggle we have both have is one of finding our role. She has always been the mom. She cooked for her family, planned the holidays, and made the decisions. I came into her life and changed that dynamic.
Bret and I have always marched to our own beat and never asked for opinions, advice, or even help. That said we got married very young, had our first child two months after we were married a year (she was weeks early), bought our house right away, and then had a second child before Bret was out of med school. These things were not what anyone else thought was right for us and those thoughts were never really kept quiet or from us. It hurt my feelings that people thought we should have waited to get married or have children. I just wanted them to be excited and happy for us. I won't go into the ugly things that happened (I will save that for my anonymous blog) but let's just say it took a lot of time for me to forgive and I am still working on the forgetting part.
The one thing I have learned is that although it always takes them longer than I had hoped they ALWAYS come around. My MIL was there for me when my mom was in the hospital the entire week before our wedding. She stayed in the hospital with me when I was pregnant with Emily, scared to death, and Bret was 16 hours away. She cried with me when I packed up everything I owned and said goodbye to everything and everyone I had every known to go to a place that seemed so foreign and far way with my two little babies. She is the best grandmother I could have ever asked for to my kids and she would do anything to help her own kids.
I am sure that when we have another child it will still be too soon for them (no that is not an announcement, I promise you will one of the first to know) and we will make other decisions that they will not agree with. I am also sure they will let us know that they disagree. In the mean time I am happy that the kids will get to spend some time with the grandparents, we will get the best homemade bread and pies ever, and we will be with family for this holiday to give thanks for all that is good. She has also promised to go BF shopping with me and hold a spot in line. Now that is true love.
"I MIL & FIL take you DIL/SIL as one of our own. I promise to remember your birthday and invite you to holiday gatherings. I promise to offer support while not judging. I promise to never broach the topics of money, sex, and how you raise your children. I promise to love those children and spoil them rotten. As long as you both are married."
My in-laws come into town on Tuesday (my birthday) and will be staying with us for a week. I am genuinely glad that they are coming. They came a little less than a year ago for a long weekend. While I thought the trip went fine I think they thought otherwise. While there were here I took them to the mall to shop. While there I suddenly started to feel very bad. (I think I mentioned this situation in a previous post) I broke out into the worst case of hives that I have ever had. I ended up having to take steroids to get rid of them. My entire body was covered and swollen and I was miserable. Although most commonly they come from an allergic reaction they can sometimes be caused by stress. We had not changed anything in our laundry care, etc so who knows what it was. My MIL swears that it was them visiting that caused the episode. Most likely I was allergic to something they were wearing or using. Either way there is some concern about this trip. However, as I have pointed out I am working now (not home with them all day) and we have a lot planned this time.
We spent last Thanksgiving with our new closest friends here and it was wonderful. We cooked a feast for 20 even though there were four adults and two kids and ate until we were ill. It was quiet but very nice. This year these close friends are expecting their first baby on.....my birthday. As my own private in house resident has informed me, less than 10% of women actually deliver on their due dates. I am still hopeful to share my date with a new little one. So far so good as she has not delivered yet. Because of her condition and the timing of everything all of their family is coming here for the holidays so spending a quiet holiday with them is kind of out. Besides my MIL is a fabulous cook and I am happy that she is going to help cook.
In the ten years that I have known my MIL we have come a long way. Our relationship has grown over time into one of respect and warm regards. We are not anywhere close to BFF nor do I carry illusions of this ever having. I have a mom and she has a daughter...we are good in that regard. I think that the struggle we have both have is one of finding our role. She has always been the mom. She cooked for her family, planned the holidays, and made the decisions. I came into her life and changed that dynamic.
Bret and I have always marched to our own beat and never asked for opinions, advice, or even help. That said we got married very young, had our first child two months after we were married a year (she was weeks early), bought our house right away, and then had a second child before Bret was out of med school. These things were not what anyone else thought was right for us and those thoughts were never really kept quiet or from us. It hurt my feelings that people thought we should have waited to get married or have children. I just wanted them to be excited and happy for us. I won't go into the ugly things that happened (I will save that for my anonymous blog) but let's just say it took a lot of time for me to forgive and I am still working on the forgetting part.
The one thing I have learned is that although it always takes them longer than I had hoped they ALWAYS come around. My MIL was there for me when my mom was in the hospital the entire week before our wedding. She stayed in the hospital with me when I was pregnant with Emily, scared to death, and Bret was 16 hours away. She cried with me when I packed up everything I owned and said goodbye to everything and everyone I had every known to go to a place that seemed so foreign and far way with my two little babies. She is the best grandmother I could have ever asked for to my kids and she would do anything to help her own kids.
I am sure that when we have another child it will still be too soon for them (no that is not an announcement, I promise you will one of the first to know) and we will make other decisions that they will not agree with. I am also sure they will let us know that they disagree. In the mean time I am happy that the kids will get to spend some time with the grandparents, we will get the best homemade bread and pies ever, and we will be with family for this holiday to give thanks for all that is good. She has also promised to go BF shopping with me and hold a spot in line. Now that is true love.
11.18.2008
You too can spark!
I got an email the other day from cousin that told me about a new website that I am totally obsessed with. The website is www.sparkpeople.com This is a website that is committed to helping you achieve your weight loss goals and maintain a healthy lifestyle. What is so refreshing about this site is that it really seems to want to help you succeed with no strings attached. IT. IS. TOTALLY. FREE. There is no trial membership, no partial free stuff and the rest you have to pay for. Not only is it free (I know I could just stop there) but it is really one of the best sites I have ever used.
The found says that he and his wife were some of the founders of eBay and decided that since they could afford to retire early they wanted to help people get healthy. The site is very user friendly and has a lot of cool stuff. It is set up similar to weight watchers except instead of points you have a food journal, exercise log, etc. You set up your own page and can blog about your struggles. They have teams with similar goals/interests for you to join and people are generally very friendly. It is kind of like facebook in that you have profile pictures and buddies to join you on this adventure.
My favorite part is the spark points. They have several ways everyday that you can earn spark points. You get points for logging in daily, putting information in your journals, reading articles, playing games, etc. Then with your spark points you can buy things. You can send someone a high five, buy yourself a pretend massage, etc. SO. MUCH. FUN. I become obsessed with getting my daily quota of points and I learn stuff about how to maintain a healthy lifestyle while I'm at it. Did I mention that it is free?
OK, so the reason I really decided to blog about this site is more than just sharing my new found joy. In my reading of articles for spark points I found an article that really hit home (more like scared the crap out of me). The article asked if your friends made you fat. I laughed at the title but upon reading it I found that if your friends are overweight or are gaining weight you are 76% more likely to gain weight also. If your friends are losing weight you are 46% more likely to lose weight and here is the one that did for me...people who try to lose weight with a support network or with close friends are 66% more likely to be successful. So there you have it...all of my blog readers are now encouraged by me to join me in this weight loss/healthy lifestyle endeavor. This way we call all be more successful together. Now I know you think I am crazy for starting this right before the holidays but here came another article I read (btw I don't quote my stats so believe them or not that isn't the point).
This article talked about how important it was to journal your food intake and exercise. You are more likely to eat less when you have to write it down and you are more likely to exercise more when you record the numbers. This totally makes sense for me. So my plan until after the holidays is simple write it down. I am making no grandeur attempt to curve my diet or up my exercise routines I am just committing to writing it down. I am hopeful that this will encourage me to continue paying attention to what I am eating and how much I am working out but I am not going to worry about it. So join me! (or don't..no pressure) My user name is ksmomma42 and I look forward to seeing at least a few of you on there.
The found says that he and his wife were some of the founders of eBay and decided that since they could afford to retire early they wanted to help people get healthy. The site is very user friendly and has a lot of cool stuff. It is set up similar to weight watchers except instead of points you have a food journal, exercise log, etc. You set up your own page and can blog about your struggles. They have teams with similar goals/interests for you to join and people are generally very friendly. It is kind of like facebook in that you have profile pictures and buddies to join you on this adventure.
My favorite part is the spark points. They have several ways everyday that you can earn spark points. You get points for logging in daily, putting information in your journals, reading articles, playing games, etc. Then with your spark points you can buy things. You can send someone a high five, buy yourself a pretend massage, etc. SO. MUCH. FUN. I become obsessed with getting my daily quota of points and I learn stuff about how to maintain a healthy lifestyle while I'm at it. Did I mention that it is free?
OK, so the reason I really decided to blog about this site is more than just sharing my new found joy. In my reading of articles for spark points I found an article that really hit home (more like scared the crap out of me). The article asked if your friends made you fat. I laughed at the title but upon reading it I found that if your friends are overweight or are gaining weight you are 76% more likely to gain weight also. If your friends are losing weight you are 46% more likely to lose weight and here is the one that did for me...people who try to lose weight with a support network or with close friends are 66% more likely to be successful. So there you have it...all of my blog readers are now encouraged by me to join me in this weight loss/healthy lifestyle endeavor. This way we call all be more successful together. Now I know you think I am crazy for starting this right before the holidays but here came another article I read (btw I don't quote my stats so believe them or not that isn't the point).
This article talked about how important it was to journal your food intake and exercise. You are more likely to eat less when you have to write it down and you are more likely to exercise more when you record the numbers. This totally makes sense for me. So my plan until after the holidays is simple write it down. I am making no grandeur attempt to curve my diet or up my exercise routines I am just committing to writing it down. I am hopeful that this will encourage me to continue paying attention to what I am eating and how much I am working out but I am not going to worry about it. So join me! (or don't..no pressure) My user name is ksmomma42 and I look forward to seeing at least a few of you on there.
11.14.2008
Where is that snooze button?
It's Friday and it couldn't have come at a better time. I love the weekends (there's a shocker) but it funny how much my weekends have changed. It used to be that both Bret and I would sleep until we just couldn't sleep any more on Saturday mornings and even then we would lie in bed and just talk before dragging ourselves toward the kitchen for cereal and TV. Our weekend revolved around K-State football home games or if they were away we would plan according to the TV schedule. We also planned around social gatherings with friends that usually took place late in the evening until wee hours of the morning and usually involved good food and drinks.
When our kids were born this was one thing I missed the most. Kids don't sleep in (at least not yet...teenage years will be different I am sure). Even if my kids are up late the night before they are always up before 8 and usually before 7. Staying up late the night before just makes them cranky. They are finally getting to the point where they can self manage for an hour maybe two in the mornings. Emily gets up and turns on the TV (we leave cartoons on the night before) and she, open the fridge for sippy cups filled the night before, and find/open granola bars stored on the lower shelf within her reaching. I know that this sounds like a lot of prep work but the two hours of sleeping in until 9am is totally worth the effort.
Don't kid yourself, this is not usually uninterrupted sleep. Emily may take care of her brother but they still find something to fight about or my mischievous son will find something to get into that he is not supposed to have. In this case I usually am awakened to both kids running into our room yelling "MOM!!" at the same time. Emily because she is usually telling and Palmer b/c he thinks its fun. I have always been amazed at how my husband can sleep through anything. It is a gift. Even when I would have a screaming child in bed with us he never moved or blinked an eye. If I felt the need to share my misery it was like waking the dead even though the screaming child was right next his ear. The kids have learned this and don't even try to bother their dad. My hubs, being the good guy that he is, understands this burden and will on occasion get up with the kids although it is usually too late at this point as I am already awake. As is predictable of our marriage we have worked out a pretty good compromise.
The kids have swim lessons on Sat morning so Bret gets the kids ready to go, sometimes takes them to the nearby dinner for breakfast, and then to swim lessons. 2-3 glorious hours all to my own. Funny but I usually spend that time doing laundry and picking up the house so we don't have a lot to do later but I don't mind. It is quite and I AM ALONE. Beyond that we usually have kid birthday parties, dinner with friends, and some sort of family activity. Bret and I enjoy the quite time when the kids are sleeping during their naps (I usually doze, he plays on the computer and watches football). It is usually a nice balance of relaxing lazy time mixed in with a fun activity with the kids. We have no family in the area so our weekends are our own and we take full advantage. Bret has to work sometimes and when he does we take dinner and spend our evenings waiting for a glimpse of him in the lounge. On the very rare occasion we sometimes get a babysitter and have an evening to ourselves as well. Funny but as nice is that is I don't long to go out with the kids that often. They go to bed at 8 or so. We spend the hours they are sleeping together. Sometimes we watch a movie, play a board game or cards, and sometimes we sit on our back porch drink beer and visit. While it may not be as fun as "going out" sometimes we usually save money this way. BTW our summers are completely different and I will post about them as that time gets closer. Have a great weekend!
When our kids were born this was one thing I missed the most. Kids don't sleep in (at least not yet...teenage years will be different I am sure). Even if my kids are up late the night before they are always up before 8 and usually before 7. Staying up late the night before just makes them cranky. They are finally getting to the point where they can self manage for an hour maybe two in the mornings. Emily gets up and turns on the TV (we leave cartoons on the night before) and she, open the fridge for sippy cups filled the night before, and find/open granola bars stored on the lower shelf within her reaching. I know that this sounds like a lot of prep work but the two hours of sleeping in until 9am is totally worth the effort.
Don't kid yourself, this is not usually uninterrupted sleep. Emily may take care of her brother but they still find something to fight about or my mischievous son will find something to get into that he is not supposed to have. In this case I usually am awakened to both kids running into our room yelling "MOM!!" at the same time. Emily because she is usually telling and Palmer b/c he thinks its fun. I have always been amazed at how my husband can sleep through anything. It is a gift. Even when I would have a screaming child in bed with us he never moved or blinked an eye. If I felt the need to share my misery it was like waking the dead even though the screaming child was right next his ear. The kids have learned this and don't even try to bother their dad. My hubs, being the good guy that he is, understands this burden and will on occasion get up with the kids although it is usually too late at this point as I am already awake. As is predictable of our marriage we have worked out a pretty good compromise.
The kids have swim lessons on Sat morning so Bret gets the kids ready to go, sometimes takes them to the nearby dinner for breakfast, and then to swim lessons. 2-3 glorious hours all to my own. Funny but I usually spend that time doing laundry and picking up the house so we don't have a lot to do later but I don't mind. It is quite and I AM ALONE. Beyond that we usually have kid birthday parties, dinner with friends, and some sort of family activity. Bret and I enjoy the quite time when the kids are sleeping during their naps (I usually doze, he plays on the computer and watches football). It is usually a nice balance of relaxing lazy time mixed in with a fun activity with the kids. We have no family in the area so our weekends are our own and we take full advantage. Bret has to work sometimes and when he does we take dinner and spend our evenings waiting for a glimpse of him in the lounge. On the very rare occasion we sometimes get a babysitter and have an evening to ourselves as well. Funny but as nice is that is I don't long to go out with the kids that often. They go to bed at 8 or so. We spend the hours they are sleeping together. Sometimes we watch a movie, play a board game or cards, and sometimes we sit on our back porch drink beer and visit. While it may not be as fun as "going out" sometimes we usually save money this way. BTW our summers are completely different and I will post about them as that time gets closer. Have a great weekend!
11.12.2008
To be or not to be loyal
Another really fun part of (hear the sarcasm in my voice) being married to an OB/GYN is that he has a very strong opinion of who I should go to for my own womanly appointments. No I am not pregnant. So about a year ago as my impending yearly appointment came due we had the all important conversation about who I should go see.
This decision is more complicated than for most people because there are work politics involved. I can't just go to a doctor and if I don't like him/her decide to go to someone else. That would create hard feelings on a personal level and just make work weird. Even though everyone says that they respect people's decisions we all know the truth about that posh. It is also a very important decision because although we are not yet pregnant or even trying we both know that a child will be born before we leave this town so the GYN will also serve as an OB during later times.
It is always and easy decision for me to say who I would not go to. I think it is funny because every resident I meet I can tell you within the first few moments if I could see myself listening to them as they talk me through the scary, painful, exciting labors of birth. Think about it...who of your friends would you let deliver you...exactly. I prefer OB/GYN's that are older males. There is something about their calm reassuring voice that makes me feel safe and helps me relax. I also have to have a doctor that balance me and husband's needs well.
This means that the doctor has to be able to talk to me as the patient at a level that does not make me feel talked down to. He also has to be able to respect that I have the final say and that sometimes Bret and I disagree. However, I respect Bret and trust him most so the doctor has to be able to understand that too. When Palmer was delivered things got very scary and extremely tense. Things were not going well and everyone knew it. The doctor managed to keep me calm and focused and most importantly informed about what was going on. He also managed to consult with Bret who knew all too well what risks we were facing, what could go wrong in a matter of seconds, and who had strong opinions about my and the baby's care. Our doctor did a fantastic job and I was sad to leave him. I digress.
So that said Bret and I made a decision about who I would go see that we could both live with and were really happy about. But then a week ago I got a letter from this doctor and found out that there were a lot of changes happening. Most of you know that the majority of practices share call. This means that when you deliver (especially at night or on weekends or vacations) whoever is the doctor from the practice on call will be the one to deliver you. One of the reasons we chose the doctor we did was b/c we also like his partners. Both of his partners are leaving the practice to join a few other doctors leaving their practice to form an all women's practice here in Berks county. Good for them I think it is a great idea and good fit.
I, however, have to wonder how this will affect my doctor. At the annual appointment however, we found a cyst that was not dangerous or malignant but "of concern". I have been going back ever couple of months to monitor it still. I got a call this week that my check up scheduled for Monday needed to be rescheduled. When I called to schedule this I found out the next available appointment isn't until the end of January. I am not really stressed about putting up this check up. I am sure that he is just going to say "yep, it is still there" and either it has stayed the same, gotten smaller, or gotten bigger. The thing about a cyst is that you either surgically remove them (yikes) or leave them alone. It doesn't bother me so as long as it isn't cancerous then we are going to leave it alone. Let me point out that if I called and said I have been having pain, have been bleeding, or any other issues he would find a way to see me today.
The point is that I am concerned about the changes and what this will mean. I am sure that he is going to hire new partners (scary) and that for a while at least things will be really crazy and hectic in his practice. Part of me wants to jump off this sinking ship but the other part knows that it is not that simple. I don't want to cause hard feelings for Bret and when things like this happens a lot of lines in the sand are drawn. Bret feels like we should just wait and see what happens. He said that he can scan me in the clinic to make sure that nothing has changed to worry about and then let the dust settle. Until we are closer to the pregnant thing there is no reason to panic. I agree but still have this impulse to run for our second choice before things get even harder to break off. In the mean time the receptionist is going to check his schedule and get back to me.
This decision is more complicated than for most people because there are work politics involved. I can't just go to a doctor and if I don't like him/her decide to go to someone else. That would create hard feelings on a personal level and just make work weird. Even though everyone says that they respect people's decisions we all know the truth about that posh. It is also a very important decision because although we are not yet pregnant or even trying we both know that a child will be born before we leave this town so the GYN will also serve as an OB during later times.
It is always and easy decision for me to say who I would not go to. I think it is funny because every resident I meet I can tell you within the first few moments if I could see myself listening to them as they talk me through the scary, painful, exciting labors of birth. Think about it...who of your friends would you let deliver you...exactly. I prefer OB/GYN's that are older males. There is something about their calm reassuring voice that makes me feel safe and helps me relax. I also have to have a doctor that balance me and husband's needs well.
This means that the doctor has to be able to talk to me as the patient at a level that does not make me feel talked down to. He also has to be able to respect that I have the final say and that sometimes Bret and I disagree. However, I respect Bret and trust him most so the doctor has to be able to understand that too. When Palmer was delivered things got very scary and extremely tense. Things were not going well and everyone knew it. The doctor managed to keep me calm and focused and most importantly informed about what was going on. He also managed to consult with Bret who knew all too well what risks we were facing, what could go wrong in a matter of seconds, and who had strong opinions about my and the baby's care. Our doctor did a fantastic job and I was sad to leave him. I digress.
So that said Bret and I made a decision about who I would go see that we could both live with and were really happy about. But then a week ago I got a letter from this doctor and found out that there were a lot of changes happening. Most of you know that the majority of practices share call. This means that when you deliver (especially at night or on weekends or vacations) whoever is the doctor from the practice on call will be the one to deliver you. One of the reasons we chose the doctor we did was b/c we also like his partners. Both of his partners are leaving the practice to join a few other doctors leaving their practice to form an all women's practice here in Berks county. Good for them I think it is a great idea and good fit.
I, however, have to wonder how this will affect my doctor. At the annual appointment however, we found a cyst that was not dangerous or malignant but "of concern". I have been going back ever couple of months to monitor it still. I got a call this week that my check up scheduled for Monday needed to be rescheduled. When I called to schedule this I found out the next available appointment isn't until the end of January. I am not really stressed about putting up this check up. I am sure that he is just going to say "yep, it is still there" and either it has stayed the same, gotten smaller, or gotten bigger. The thing about a cyst is that you either surgically remove them (yikes) or leave them alone. It doesn't bother me so as long as it isn't cancerous then we are going to leave it alone. Let me point out that if I called and said I have been having pain, have been bleeding, or any other issues he would find a way to see me today.
The point is that I am concerned about the changes and what this will mean. I am sure that he is going to hire new partners (scary) and that for a while at least things will be really crazy and hectic in his practice. Part of me wants to jump off this sinking ship but the other part knows that it is not that simple. I don't want to cause hard feelings for Bret and when things like this happens a lot of lines in the sand are drawn. Bret feels like we should just wait and see what happens. He said that he can scan me in the clinic to make sure that nothing has changed to worry about and then let the dust settle. Until we are closer to the pregnant thing there is no reason to panic. I agree but still have this impulse to run for our second choice before things get even harder to break off. In the mean time the receptionist is going to check his schedule and get back to me.
11.11.2008
Favorite Things About Thanksgiving
As Thanksgiving (and my birthday) quickly approach I thought I would be fun to give a top ten favorite things list. I love lists and didn't really have anything to blog about that wasn't me complaining about another month of nights or highlights of my shopping (don't worry it will come) for Christmas so here it is.
#10. My house smells like pumpkin, bread, turkey, and stuffing and just things that warms you from the inside out for a week without having to light a candle. I wonder if you could capture that smell in a candle.
#9. The "feel like you are doing a good deed" feeling that I get from adopting a family and buying their Thanksgiving day feast.
#8. Free turkey from Reading Hospital.
#7. Little Pilgrim hats and hand turkeys made by my children for their school celebrations.
#6. Birthday presents from family and friends on or around the day.
#5. Scanning the actual Black Friday ads, making my schedule and lists, and going to bed a little early so that I can hit it hard at 3 am the next day.
#4. Getting to sleep in a few minutes longer b/c of the Macy T-Day parade that can keep my kids' attention just a little longer. (We will go to this before we move any further away from NYC...Bret has promised)
#3. The "holy cows I am going to be ill or pass out" feeling you get after eating pie when you were already so full that my maternity pants (not pregnant) are not holding up and then napping while in between watching football.
#2. Turkey, stuffing, potatoes, green bean casserole, salad, cranberry jelly, rolls, sweet potatoes, and pie, pie, and more pie! (pumpkin, pecan, cream, fruit, you name it)
#1. Looking around the table with tears in my eyes to see the people who matter most to me and taking a moment to thank GOD for everything that he has blessed me with. I have been very blessed this last year and have so much to be thankful for everyday.
#10. My house smells like pumpkin, bread, turkey, and stuffing and just things that warms you from the inside out for a week without having to light a candle. I wonder if you could capture that smell in a candle.
#9. The "feel like you are doing a good deed" feeling that I get from adopting a family and buying their Thanksgiving day feast.
#8. Free turkey from Reading Hospital.
#7. Little Pilgrim hats and hand turkeys made by my children for their school celebrations.
#6. Birthday presents from family and friends on or around the day.
#5. Scanning the actual Black Friday ads, making my schedule and lists, and going to bed a little early so that I can hit it hard at 3 am the next day.
#4. Getting to sleep in a few minutes longer b/c of the Macy T-Day parade that can keep my kids' attention just a little longer. (We will go to this before we move any further away from NYC...Bret has promised)
#3. The "holy cows I am going to be ill or pass out" feeling you get after eating pie when you were already so full that my maternity pants (not pregnant) are not holding up and then napping while in between watching football.
#2. Turkey, stuffing, potatoes, green bean casserole, salad, cranberry jelly, rolls, sweet potatoes, and pie, pie, and more pie! (pumpkin, pecan, cream, fruit, you name it)
#1. Looking around the table with tears in my eyes to see the people who matter most to me and taking a moment to thank GOD for everything that he has blessed me with. I have been very blessed this last year and have so much to be thankful for everyday.
11.10.2008
Long Awaited Halloween
I have blogged on here before about the costume endeavors that I put myself through each year. Between the shortened time due to vacations and the demands of a four year old princess, this year was my toughest year yet. I was really happy with Palmer's costume. He was the cutest little dragon and his costume turned out great. Emily's costume on the other hand was much more difficult than I thought it was going to be and there wasn't enough time. In the end I think it turned out fine and she felt like a true princess which is what it is all about.
I have decided that this was the last year I was going to make Emily's costume. Laugh as you will but it is a whole different world sewing a costume for someone who has an opinion. This part was poking her, it was too long, and she wanted the shoulders to stand up more. She liked it but she wanted it to be perfect. Mommy doesn't do perfect when it comes to sewing. Palmer didn't care that it was a little long or that there we other imperfections. I think this was just the sign I needed that Emily has moved past homemade costumes and next year will experience the same joy that most other kids do when they go to the store and pick out what they are going to be that year. I think I will still make a costume or two more for Palmer and will definately try to continue the tradition for a new arrivals. In the end we had a really fun time at the school parade/party, trick or treating, and enjoying friends at the Halloween party.
11.07.2008
Tears and Cheers
I love watching Grey's Anatomy. I know first hand how far fetched this funny drama is from the realities of resident life (at least I hope my husband is not sleeping with other residents...hmmm...three of them are pregnant now...two just had babies...wait!). I still love the show and I think it is because of the quirks of each of the residents and underneath all of the love triangle drama there are somethings that are very much our reality. Residents give their lives over to their work. They work extremely long hours and a lot of times it is a great emotional rollercoaster. They have to figure out a way to walk away from a delivery that went terribly wrong into the next room moments later and hope for the best possible outcome. We are thankful that they can do this and that they are not just patients to them. They are real people and while having a baby can be the most exciting and wonderful moment it can also be the most scary and sometimes heartbreaking too. So I digress.
Bailey has a rough character to play and I think this is because her life is most revealing to the realities of resident life. When you give everything you have for twelve to thirty-six hours straight how to find more to give to your spouse and kids waiting at home. Some days there is nothing left and yet you have to find a way. I know that I have placed some very crazy expectations on Bret (attend all school functions, take sick days sometimes to stay home with the kids, we take dinner in and eat in the lounge when he is working weekends and nights, when he is home he has to help around the house and take extra one on one time with the kids). We have struggled but are finally starting to find our way through this maze.
So last night as I was watching Grey's I was immediately filled with tears as I watched the older married couple (sorry if you have it DVR'd and haven't watched it yet) and their story unfold. It was refreshing to see a happily married couple on the show and for my favorite character to see this view into what it can be like. I hope that she keeps fighting and not let go so easy of something that can be so great. It's funny how perspective can change everything in just a glance.
So tell me do you have a favorite Grey's character? I think McSteamy is by far hotter than McDreamy but I still wish that George was not batting for the other team. Leave a comment and tell me your favorite Grey's character or moment.
Bailey has a rough character to play and I think this is because her life is most revealing to the realities of resident life. When you give everything you have for twelve to thirty-six hours straight how to find more to give to your spouse and kids waiting at home. Some days there is nothing left and yet you have to find a way. I know that I have placed some very crazy expectations on Bret (attend all school functions, take sick days sometimes to stay home with the kids, we take dinner in and eat in the lounge when he is working weekends and nights, when he is home he has to help around the house and take extra one on one time with the kids). We have struggled but are finally starting to find our way through this maze.
So last night as I was watching Grey's I was immediately filled with tears as I watched the older married couple (sorry if you have it DVR'd and haven't watched it yet) and their story unfold. It was refreshing to see a happily married couple on the show and for my favorite character to see this view into what it can be like. I hope that she keeps fighting and not let go so easy of something that can be so great. It's funny how perspective can change everything in just a glance.
So tell me do you have a favorite Grey's character? I think McSteamy is by far hotter than McDreamy but I still wish that George was not batting for the other team. Leave a comment and tell me your favorite Grey's character or moment.
11.05.2008
Because you asked...and if you didn't you wanted to!
I cannot tell you how many times I have gotten a funny look or even that awkward pause when I tell people that my husband is an OB/GYN. I have been asked a number of times if it is weird to have a husband that works with all women everyday. Even if you haven't asked before I am sure that you wondered b/c I wondered long before I ever imagined that I would marry one. So here it is...my very honest answer to how it feels to have a husband as an OB/GYN.
When Bret first told me that he wanted to be an Ob/Gyn I was shocked but only for a minute. The longer I thought about it the more I realized that it really was a good fit and made sense. Even Bret's mom said that she could see him as an OB/GYN. I have never met a woman that didn't just love their OB. OB's are usually kind, gentle, compassionate, patient, and in most cases the primary caretaker for women. Bret has a personality that gets along with everyone. So while I understood the draw and how much of a good fit it was it was still a little weird.
I have to preface this first saying that Bret is a professional and I have no doubt that he is completely appropriate at all times. It is just that my serious lack of self confidence creeps up sometimes and makes me wonder if I am some how not up to par. I solace myself by knowing that for every one nice set of ta-tas or vjay-jay he sees 20 not so great (if not bad) sets. Let's face it ladies...other than once a year visit we only see this doctor when things are not good or we are pregnant.
On the other hand the good part is that I have my very own doctor to answer any and every question or what if scenario that I could possibly ever come up with. I also sometimes feel much more informed just from all of the situations or cases that I hear about. The most important good part is that Ob's know the inside of a woman's body better than most women themselves....which leads to the best antidote to any wife's self-conscious issue.
When Bret first told me that he wanted to be an Ob/Gyn I was shocked but only for a minute. The longer I thought about it the more I realized that it really was a good fit and made sense. Even Bret's mom said that she could see him as an OB/GYN. I have never met a woman that didn't just love their OB. OB's are usually kind, gentle, compassionate, patient, and in most cases the primary caretaker for women. Bret has a personality that gets along with everyone. So while I understood the draw and how much of a good fit it was it was still a little weird.
I have to preface this first saying that Bret is a professional and I have no doubt that he is completely appropriate at all times. It is just that my serious lack of self confidence creeps up sometimes and makes me wonder if I am some how not up to par. I solace myself by knowing that for every one nice set of ta-tas or vjay-jay he sees 20 not so great (if not bad) sets. Let's face it ladies...other than once a year visit we only see this doctor when things are not good or we are pregnant.
On the other hand the good part is that I have my very own doctor to answer any and every question or what if scenario that I could possibly ever come up with. I also sometimes feel much more informed just from all of the situations or cases that I hear about. The most important good part is that Ob's know the inside of a woman's body better than most women themselves....which leads to the best antidote to any wife's self-conscious issue.
11.04.2008
Did you know?
I have seen several other posts on people's blogs like this and thought it would be fun. It was actually much harder than I thought it would be. Hopefully none of it is that TMI. Here are 100 things that you may or may not have know about me:
100. I hate to floss but am afraid enough of getting cavities to do it somewhat regularly.
99. I am currently writing a book that I have been plotting in my head for over four years….don’t even bother asking because I won’t tell you anything about it.
98. I am an avid reader and have averaged 4 books a month since I was 9 years old.
97. I record 3 shows a day with my DVR and then watch everything when Bret is on nights and the kids are in bed.
96. I have never been able to stick to a diet longer than two days.
95. Even though I have a degree in finance and an MBA I am not very good with money management.
94. I adore my children but long for a couple more.
93. I still believe that you can be a successful career mom, super wife, and incredible mom while still having time for yourself.
92. I loath doing laundry and usually let it pile up for a couple of weeks until Bret complains that he has no clean boxers.
91. Bret and I already have the plans for the house we are going to build someday and have for a couple of years now.
90. I have always wanted to but never been able to keep a journal for more than a day or two.
89. If I could meet anyone dead or alive for lunch it would be my grandmother on my mom’s side (even though she spoke only Spanish which I don’t speak…but surely since it would be my dream there would be an interpreter or something right?)
88. My favorite characteristic of my daughter is her confidence. She is not afraid to walk her own path in life.
87. My favorite characteristic in my son is his charm. People (myself included) are always amazed at how sweet he is.
86. When I feel like crying I watch the movie Beaches.
85. I never wanted kids before I met Bret.
84. We got pregnant even though I was on birth control with Emily.
83. We wanted our kids to be 2 ½ years apart and Emily & Palmer is 2 years 6 months and 1 day apart (July 22, 2004 & January 23, 2007). Our very first try was a success.
82. My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving because I always got to open presents since my birthday was so close by.
81. I have written letters to my children, husband, sister, etc. in case something ever happened to me. I update them every year and keep the old ones.
80. My high school boyfriend died a week before my first child was born due to an aneurysm. I didn’t find out until a year later when his mom tracked me down. I think it was fate that kept me from finding out since I was very high risk at that time due to pre eclampsia (high blood pressure) and finding out would have put the baby and me at serious risk due to the added stress.
79. I am a devout Catholic that respects other people’s beliefs but quietly believes that all other Christian religion’s stemmed from someone disagreeing with a part of Catholic dogma that they wanted to change so they made up their own religion.
78. I love coffee but I have to have it with a lot of skim milk and splenda.
77. I would like to be a professor on a tenure track someday.
76. I have not yet figured out what I would teach.
75. My favorite line from a book is “when your daughter is born you just met the person who will hold your hand on your deathbed.”
74. I believe in marriage and take my wedding vows seriously. I think divorce is too quickly the answer and that people jump in to marriage faster than a new pair of shoes.
73. I love K-State football and the whole shebang- tailgating, going to the game, drinking afterwards.
72. I love going out with my girlfriends a couple times a year to drink and dance and have to call our husbands to come pick us up.
71. When I am stressed out I grind my teeth and clench my jaw while I sleep. It makes my mouth hurt for days and only happens during really stressful times.
70. I can drink tequila like water (or at least I used to) and one time drank 21 shots in a contest on spring break.
69. I love to take long hot baths and soak until I am so wrinkly that it hurts.
68. There are always two or three different candles burning in my home...I love the smell.
67. When I was pregnant with Palmer I ate Buffalo wings and Buffalo sauce on everything for 3 months straight. (Buffalo pizza, salad, wings, sandwiches, tenders) I cringe at the thought now.
66. When I was pregnant with Emily I craved pie and watermelon. I ate an entire watermelon by myself in one sitting.
67. I could eat a hamburger and French fries for lunch or dinner everyday and not get bored or tired of it.
66. I love my parents very much but think that they didn’t do the greatest job as parents.
65. My next car will be a brand new fully loaded GMC Arcadia. It may be a while.
64. I am incredibly impulsive and spontaneous and it is a good thing that Bret is quite the opposite or we would be broke.
63. I love it when the weather is really bad outside and we can stay in our PJ’s all day, bake cookies, and watch movies.
62. Becoming a mother physically and emotionally and spiritually changed me and made me more whole.
61. I suffered severe depression when we first move to PA but now know that it was the best thing that could have ever happened to us.
60. I am now more educated (come on my husband is an OB/GYN) on the many shades of gray on the issue of abortion and how it is almost never a black and white choice….however this has made me resolute and convinced that it is not only wrong but must be made illegal. A child is created at the point of conception and should be protected at all costs.
59. Even so, I can honestly say that I have never judged someone based on the choices that they have made. He without sin…
58. When my in-laws came to visit I broke out into severe hives and had to take steroids. They are convinced that it was because of them and the stress….I really don’t think so but the mind is a mysterious thing. We will see since they are coming for a week over Thanksgiving.
57. I wear the same jewelry everyday and change what I am wearing about once a month maybe (and only then I change one necklace for another or put on a different pair of earrings).
56. I have two children, Emily who is 4 and Palmer who will be 2 in January.
55. I met my husband the spring semester of my freshman year.
54. I knew Bret and I were meant to be together when he spent our first evening together telling me about the problems he was having with a girl he really liked but she didn’t know he existed.
53. I think that Bret knew we were meant to be together when the second night we hung out together I spent the evening taking care of him and cleaning up his vomit after his frat party. (What it was his birthday and I felt sorry for him).
52. Out of the five years that I have been married: Anniversary Year 1 Bret was in New Orleans taking a class and I was in KC pregnant w/Emily, Year 2 Bret was in KC and I was living in Wichita b/c of work and school, Year 3 I was pregnant with Palmer and deathly ill, Year 4 Bret was in PA and I was in KS, and finally in Year 5 we had a nice romantic anniversary. Good thing an anniversary doesn’t make a marriage.
51. I have one sister and one brother…although my sister-in-law has been in my family for over 10 years and is no different than my other sister. I also have a cousin that is the same as a sister too.
50. I almost passed out during my sister’s wedding because I was pregnant (no one knew this of course) and it was July and I forgot to eat anything before hand.
49. I also forgot the wedding ring in the room we got ready in and had to ask someone to run and grab it during the ceremony without garnering too much attention. (While trying really hard not to pass out) I’m a bad maid of honor L but at least the bride had no idea what was going on until much later
48. The scariest moment in my life was when Palmer’s heart rate dropped during delivery and they rushed us back to the operating room.
47. One of the sweetest sounds I have ever heard was his first cry and I finally realized that he was OK.
46. I get my feelings hurt easily and take personal offense when people don’t include me.
45. One of the bravest people I know is my Godmother who recently won an ugly battle with breast cancer with the most dignity and humility and humbleness I have ever witnessed. She is the mother and wife that I want to be.
44. I am terrified that I will one day get breast cancer as it runs like water through my family.
43. I have never read the same book twice.
42. I am half Hispanic although I have extremely pasty skin and blue eyes.
41. I used to think I was adopted and was convinced that someday my parents would confess.
40. When I got older I was convinced that my parents got pregnant before they got married and that I was the only reason they got married in the first place.
39. I like all fruits except Oranges but only because I don’t like to peel them.
38. I smoked for four years quit for two years started for a year and haven’t had a cigarette in three years. If I had even one I would be hooked again and quitting each time was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
37. I don’t understand how I can successfully quit smoking twice but can’t lose weight. Both are mind over matter right?
36. I have never been to a therapist but think that I would benefit from it…I worry about being able to afford it and not knowing where to start.
35. I used to think that I was from a great home and had a great childhood…as I got older I realized that our families problems are so much worse than anyone could have ever guessed.
34. One of my proudest moments was when my mom and aunt took their Naturalization oaths to become US citizens.
33. I think every high school civics class should be required to attend a citizenship ceremony once. I think that they would have an eye opening experience when they realize how hard these people had to work to get this point and how proud they were of something that most of us take for granted.
32. The final for the high school civics class should be the citizenship exam questions. It is much harder than you would ever guess.
31. My middle name is Marcella and I have no other family with this name.
30. I cried when we sold our house in KS because it was our first real home as a family and because Bret and I had worked really hard to get to that point.
29. I have worked in financial aid at a university for five years…nine if you include when I was a student worker.
28. Bret and I have been financially independent since college. I can honestly say that I put him through EMT school, medical school, and myself through grad school.
27. It makes me feel better to know that I supported us for so long since he will make six times as much as I do for the rest of our lives.
26. The only fight that Bret and I have ever had over money was when there wasn’t enough and it was never anger at each other just stress in what to do.
25. The only arguments that Bret and I have ever had was over stupid things like whose turn it was to decide what to eat for dinner. Our biggest fights were because we were both hungry and grumpy.
24. I have only had two cell phones in my entire life. (Bret has had over 10)
23. I have absolutely no idea where we are going to be living in 2 ½ years (not even what state).
22. I have the weakest stomach in the world and gag at the slightest unpleasant smell.
21. One year at Christmas Emily got sick all over me and I turned and got sick all over my presents. Emily and I then ran to the bathroom together and continued to vomit in the toilet together. I was not sick at all just pregnant. They had to unwrap all of my presents and have me close me eyes and hand each one to me.
20. I really understood how much Bret loved me when he was seriously willing to give up everything (a competitive residency spot here and start over after almost a year to go to a place that didn’t want him originally and was going to make him repeat his first year) to move back to KS because I was so unhappy in PA.
19. It was a that moment that I realized that if Bret was dying and they told me that I needed to move to Africa to save him or something that I wouldn’t even think twice about it. My entire outlook on PA changed and finally everything started to get better. I realized how much I loved Bret too.
18. I love the seasons and could never live anywhere there was not a distinct difference between winter, spring, summer, and fall.
17. The only thing I requested about where we would move was that we were close to a D1 school…but even that is negotiable.
16. I don’t have anything very good to say about high school so I almost never do…Bret has met less than five people I knew from high school.
15. My mentor passed away a few years ago and the most important thing that he ever told me was “Don’t be dumb”…think about it as it is much more profound than at first glance. I miss him terribly and will remember him always.
14. One of the things that made me fall harder in love with Bret was when during his interview for medical school he was asked if he could have dinner with anyone dead or alive who would it be he said his wife’s grandfather. He told them that he had heard a lot about him and thinks that they would have gotten along great. That meant so much to me and was such a surprise.
13. I love to take classes to learn how to do things. I have taken cake decorating classes, quilting classes, and cooking classes.
12. I make baby blankets and burp clothes for all of my friends that have babies. I also love to make diaper cakes.
11. I would like to own a business someday that my mom, aunt, sister, and cousin all work at together. I am just not sure what kind of business yet.
10. College really was some of the best days of my life.
9. I love taking vacations and enjoy taking the kids along. My kids will have seen parts of the world by the time that they are in high school that I only dreamed about.
8. I am extremely self-conscious and worry about my weight, my ability to be a good mom, wife, employee, etc.
7. I didn’t realize until we moved here how Kansas I really was and how big of a difference the Midwest was from the rest of the country.
6. I miss my girlfriends in Wichita more than anything. I think it was the first time ever that I had close girlfriends to go have drinks with, go to the movies, or just stay home and scrapbook until all hours of the night. I don’t know if I will ever find that again.
5. Sometimes I think that my daughter’s personality is so much like mine that I am staring at a mirror.
4. I think my daughter is one of the most beautiful little girls I have ever seen. Biased I know but since she was a baby random strangers would stop and tell us the same thing.
3. I cringe at the though of dealing with a teenage daughter.
2. Even though I hate living in a tiny apartment, and even though money could be a little less tight I am so very happy and content with my life.
1. I am so far from perfect but am learning to get more comfortable in my skin almost like a good pair of jeans after several washes.
100. I hate to floss but am afraid enough of getting cavities to do it somewhat regularly.
99. I am currently writing a book that I have been plotting in my head for over four years….don’t even bother asking because I won’t tell you anything about it.
98. I am an avid reader and have averaged 4 books a month since I was 9 years old.
97. I record 3 shows a day with my DVR and then watch everything when Bret is on nights and the kids are in bed.
96. I have never been able to stick to a diet longer than two days.
95. Even though I have a degree in finance and an MBA I am not very good with money management.
94. I adore my children but long for a couple more.
93. I still believe that you can be a successful career mom, super wife, and incredible mom while still having time for yourself.
92. I loath doing laundry and usually let it pile up for a couple of weeks until Bret complains that he has no clean boxers.
91. Bret and I already have the plans for the house we are going to build someday and have for a couple of years now.
90. I have always wanted to but never been able to keep a journal for more than a day or two.
89. If I could meet anyone dead or alive for lunch it would be my grandmother on my mom’s side (even though she spoke only Spanish which I don’t speak…but surely since it would be my dream there would be an interpreter or something right?)
88. My favorite characteristic of my daughter is her confidence. She is not afraid to walk her own path in life.
87. My favorite characteristic in my son is his charm. People (myself included) are always amazed at how sweet he is.
86. When I feel like crying I watch the movie Beaches.
85. I never wanted kids before I met Bret.
84. We got pregnant even though I was on birth control with Emily.
83. We wanted our kids to be 2 ½ years apart and Emily & Palmer is 2 years 6 months and 1 day apart (July 22, 2004 & January 23, 2007). Our very first try was a success.
82. My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving because I always got to open presents since my birthday was so close by.
81. I have written letters to my children, husband, sister, etc. in case something ever happened to me. I update them every year and keep the old ones.
80. My high school boyfriend died a week before my first child was born due to an aneurysm. I didn’t find out until a year later when his mom tracked me down. I think it was fate that kept me from finding out since I was very high risk at that time due to pre eclampsia (high blood pressure) and finding out would have put the baby and me at serious risk due to the added stress.
79. I am a devout Catholic that respects other people’s beliefs but quietly believes that all other Christian religion’s stemmed from someone disagreeing with a part of Catholic dogma that they wanted to change so they made up their own religion.
78. I love coffee but I have to have it with a lot of skim milk and splenda.
77. I would like to be a professor on a tenure track someday.
76. I have not yet figured out what I would teach.
75. My favorite line from a book is “when your daughter is born you just met the person who will hold your hand on your deathbed.”
74. I believe in marriage and take my wedding vows seriously. I think divorce is too quickly the answer and that people jump in to marriage faster than a new pair of shoes.
73. I love K-State football and the whole shebang- tailgating, going to the game, drinking afterwards.
72. I love going out with my girlfriends a couple times a year to drink and dance and have to call our husbands to come pick us up.
71. When I am stressed out I grind my teeth and clench my jaw while I sleep. It makes my mouth hurt for days and only happens during really stressful times.
70. I can drink tequila like water (or at least I used to) and one time drank 21 shots in a contest on spring break.
69. I love to take long hot baths and soak until I am so wrinkly that it hurts.
68. There are always two or three different candles burning in my home...I love the smell.
67. When I was pregnant with Palmer I ate Buffalo wings and Buffalo sauce on everything for 3 months straight. (Buffalo pizza, salad, wings, sandwiches, tenders) I cringe at the thought now.
66. When I was pregnant with Emily I craved pie and watermelon. I ate an entire watermelon by myself in one sitting.
67. I could eat a hamburger and French fries for lunch or dinner everyday and not get bored or tired of it.
66. I love my parents very much but think that they didn’t do the greatest job as parents.
65. My next car will be a brand new fully loaded GMC Arcadia. It may be a while.
64. I am incredibly impulsive and spontaneous and it is a good thing that Bret is quite the opposite or we would be broke.
63. I love it when the weather is really bad outside and we can stay in our PJ’s all day, bake cookies, and watch movies.
62. Becoming a mother physically and emotionally and spiritually changed me and made me more whole.
61. I suffered severe depression when we first move to PA but now know that it was the best thing that could have ever happened to us.
60. I am now more educated (come on my husband is an OB/GYN) on the many shades of gray on the issue of abortion and how it is almost never a black and white choice….however this has made me resolute and convinced that it is not only wrong but must be made illegal. A child is created at the point of conception and should be protected at all costs.
59. Even so, I can honestly say that I have never judged someone based on the choices that they have made. He without sin…
58. When my in-laws came to visit I broke out into severe hives and had to take steroids. They are convinced that it was because of them and the stress….I really don’t think so but the mind is a mysterious thing. We will see since they are coming for a week over Thanksgiving.
57. I wear the same jewelry everyday and change what I am wearing about once a month maybe (and only then I change one necklace for another or put on a different pair of earrings).
56. I have two children, Emily who is 4 and Palmer who will be 2 in January.
55. I met my husband the spring semester of my freshman year.
54. I knew Bret and I were meant to be together when he spent our first evening together telling me about the problems he was having with a girl he really liked but she didn’t know he existed.
53. I think that Bret knew we were meant to be together when the second night we hung out together I spent the evening taking care of him and cleaning up his vomit after his frat party. (What it was his birthday and I felt sorry for him).
52. Out of the five years that I have been married: Anniversary Year 1 Bret was in New Orleans taking a class and I was in KC pregnant w/Emily, Year 2 Bret was in KC and I was living in Wichita b/c of work and school, Year 3 I was pregnant with Palmer and deathly ill, Year 4 Bret was in PA and I was in KS, and finally in Year 5 we had a nice romantic anniversary. Good thing an anniversary doesn’t make a marriage.
51. I have one sister and one brother…although my sister-in-law has been in my family for over 10 years and is no different than my other sister. I also have a cousin that is the same as a sister too.
50. I almost passed out during my sister’s wedding because I was pregnant (no one knew this of course) and it was July and I forgot to eat anything before hand.
49. I also forgot the wedding ring in the room we got ready in and had to ask someone to run and grab it during the ceremony without garnering too much attention. (While trying really hard not to pass out) I’m a bad maid of honor L but at least the bride had no idea what was going on until much later
48. The scariest moment in my life was when Palmer’s heart rate dropped during delivery and they rushed us back to the operating room.
47. One of the sweetest sounds I have ever heard was his first cry and I finally realized that he was OK.
46. I get my feelings hurt easily and take personal offense when people don’t include me.
45. One of the bravest people I know is my Godmother who recently won an ugly battle with breast cancer with the most dignity and humility and humbleness I have ever witnessed. She is the mother and wife that I want to be.
44. I am terrified that I will one day get breast cancer as it runs like water through my family.
43. I have never read the same book twice.
42. I am half Hispanic although I have extremely pasty skin and blue eyes.
41. I used to think I was adopted and was convinced that someday my parents would confess.
40. When I got older I was convinced that my parents got pregnant before they got married and that I was the only reason they got married in the first place.
39. I like all fruits except Oranges but only because I don’t like to peel them.
38. I smoked for four years quit for two years started for a year and haven’t had a cigarette in three years. If I had even one I would be hooked again and quitting each time was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
37. I don’t understand how I can successfully quit smoking twice but can’t lose weight. Both are mind over matter right?
36. I have never been to a therapist but think that I would benefit from it…I worry about being able to afford it and not knowing where to start.
35. I used to think that I was from a great home and had a great childhood…as I got older I realized that our families problems are so much worse than anyone could have ever guessed.
34. One of my proudest moments was when my mom and aunt took their Naturalization oaths to become US citizens.
33. I think every high school civics class should be required to attend a citizenship ceremony once. I think that they would have an eye opening experience when they realize how hard these people had to work to get this point and how proud they were of something that most of us take for granted.
32. The final for the high school civics class should be the citizenship exam questions. It is much harder than you would ever guess.
31. My middle name is Marcella and I have no other family with this name.
30. I cried when we sold our house in KS because it was our first real home as a family and because Bret and I had worked really hard to get to that point.
29. I have worked in financial aid at a university for five years…nine if you include when I was a student worker.
28. Bret and I have been financially independent since college. I can honestly say that I put him through EMT school, medical school, and myself through grad school.
27. It makes me feel better to know that I supported us for so long since he will make six times as much as I do for the rest of our lives.
26. The only fight that Bret and I have ever had over money was when there wasn’t enough and it was never anger at each other just stress in what to do.
25. The only arguments that Bret and I have ever had was over stupid things like whose turn it was to decide what to eat for dinner. Our biggest fights were because we were both hungry and grumpy.
24. I have only had two cell phones in my entire life. (Bret has had over 10)
23. I have absolutely no idea where we are going to be living in 2 ½ years (not even what state).
22. I have the weakest stomach in the world and gag at the slightest unpleasant smell.
21. One year at Christmas Emily got sick all over me and I turned and got sick all over my presents. Emily and I then ran to the bathroom together and continued to vomit in the toilet together. I was not sick at all just pregnant. They had to unwrap all of my presents and have me close me eyes and hand each one to me.
20. I really understood how much Bret loved me when he was seriously willing to give up everything (a competitive residency spot here and start over after almost a year to go to a place that didn’t want him originally and was going to make him repeat his first year) to move back to KS because I was so unhappy in PA.
19. It was a that moment that I realized that if Bret was dying and they told me that I needed to move to Africa to save him or something that I wouldn’t even think twice about it. My entire outlook on PA changed and finally everything started to get better. I realized how much I loved Bret too.
18. I love the seasons and could never live anywhere there was not a distinct difference between winter, spring, summer, and fall.
17. The only thing I requested about where we would move was that we were close to a D1 school…but even that is negotiable.
16. I don’t have anything very good to say about high school so I almost never do…Bret has met less than five people I knew from high school.
15. My mentor passed away a few years ago and the most important thing that he ever told me was “Don’t be dumb”…think about it as it is much more profound than at first glance. I miss him terribly and will remember him always.
14. One of the things that made me fall harder in love with Bret was when during his interview for medical school he was asked if he could have dinner with anyone dead or alive who would it be he said his wife’s grandfather. He told them that he had heard a lot about him and thinks that they would have gotten along great. That meant so much to me and was such a surprise.
13. I love to take classes to learn how to do things. I have taken cake decorating classes, quilting classes, and cooking classes.
12. I make baby blankets and burp clothes for all of my friends that have babies. I also love to make diaper cakes.
11. I would like to own a business someday that my mom, aunt, sister, and cousin all work at together. I am just not sure what kind of business yet.
10. College really was some of the best days of my life.
9. I love taking vacations and enjoy taking the kids along. My kids will have seen parts of the world by the time that they are in high school that I only dreamed about.
8. I am extremely self-conscious and worry about my weight, my ability to be a good mom, wife, employee, etc.
7. I didn’t realize until we moved here how Kansas I really was and how big of a difference the Midwest was from the rest of the country.
6. I miss my girlfriends in Wichita more than anything. I think it was the first time ever that I had close girlfriends to go have drinks with, go to the movies, or just stay home and scrapbook until all hours of the night. I don’t know if I will ever find that again.
5. Sometimes I think that my daughter’s personality is so much like mine that I am staring at a mirror.
4. I think my daughter is one of the most beautiful little girls I have ever seen. Biased I know but since she was a baby random strangers would stop and tell us the same thing.
3. I cringe at the though of dealing with a teenage daughter.
2. Even though I hate living in a tiny apartment, and even though money could be a little less tight I am so very happy and content with my life.
1. I am so far from perfect but am learning to get more comfortable in my skin almost like a good pair of jeans after several washes.
11.03.2008
Ah the quiet
I know that I complain a lot about Bret's nights rotation. There is one part of it that I have grown rather fond of. It is the time right after the kids have gone to bed and the house is totally quite. I can sit and watch TV (time to catch up on Gossip Girl and 90210) or read until I can't see straight. I can go to bed early or late...or I can blog. It's not that I can't do these things when Bret is home but the dynamics of our evenings are different. For one we only have one TV right now so that means finding something we will both watch or watching football. For another thing it is just nice to have alone time. I am not sure that the time to myself is worth the stress of having the kids on my own for a month or worth dealing with Mr. Grumpy either. It is however a the light that leads to the end of this tunnel of a month.
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