To be or not to be loyal

Another really fun part of (hear the sarcasm in my voice) being married to an OB/GYN is that he has a very strong opinion of who I should go to for my own womanly appointments. No I am not pregnant. So about a year ago as my impending yearly appointment came due we had the all important conversation about who I should go see.

This decision is more complicated than for most people because there are work politics involved. I can't just go to a doctor and if I don't like him/her decide to go to someone else. That would create hard feelings on a personal level and just make work weird. Even though everyone says that they respect people's decisions we all know the truth about that posh. It is also a very important decision because although we are not yet pregnant or even trying we both know that a child will be born before we leave this town so the GYN will also serve as an OB during later times.

It is always and easy decision for me to say who I would not go to. I think it is funny because every resident I meet I can tell you within the first few moments if I could see myself listening to them as they talk me through the scary, painful, exciting labors of birth. Think about it...who of your friends would you let deliver you...exactly. I prefer OB/GYN's that are older males. There is something about their calm reassuring voice that makes me feel safe and helps me relax. I also have to have a doctor that balance me and husband's needs well.

This means that the doctor has to be able to talk to me as the patient at a level that does not make me feel talked down to. He also has to be able to respect that I have the final say and that sometimes Bret and I disagree. However, I respect Bret and trust him most so the doctor has to be able to understand that too. When Palmer was delivered things got very scary and extremely tense. Things were not going well and everyone knew it. The doctor managed to keep me calm and focused and most importantly informed about what was going on. He also managed to consult with Bret who knew all too well what risks we were facing, what could go wrong in a matter of seconds, and who had strong opinions about my and the baby's care. Our doctor did a fantastic job and I was sad to leave him. I digress.

So that said Bret and I made a decision about who I would go see that we could both live with and were really happy about. But then a week ago I got a letter from this doctor and found out that there were a lot of changes happening. Most of you know that the majority of practices share call. This means that when you deliver (especially at night or on weekends or vacations) whoever is the doctor from the practice on call will be the one to deliver you. One of the reasons we chose the doctor we did was b/c we also like his partners. Both of his partners are leaving the practice to join a few other doctors leaving their practice to form an all women's practice here in Berks county. Good for them I think it is a great idea and good fit.

I, however, have to wonder how this will affect my doctor. At the annual appointment however, we found a cyst that was not dangerous or malignant but "of concern". I have been going back ever couple of months to monitor it still. I got a call this week that my check up scheduled for Monday needed to be rescheduled. When I called to schedule this I found out the next available appointment isn't until the end of January. I am not really stressed about putting up this check up. I am sure that he is just going to say "yep, it is still there" and either it has stayed the same, gotten smaller, or gotten bigger. The thing about a cyst is that you either surgically remove them (yikes) or leave them alone. It doesn't bother me so as long as it isn't cancerous then we are going to leave it alone. Let me point out that if I called and said I have been having pain, have been bleeding, or any other issues he would find a way to see me today.

The point is that I am concerned about the changes and what this will mean. I am sure that he is going to hire new partners (scary) and that for a while at least things will be really crazy and hectic in his practice. Part of me wants to jump off this sinking ship but the other part knows that it is not that simple. I don't want to cause hard feelings for Bret and when things like this happens a lot of lines in the sand are drawn. Bret feels like we should just wait and see what happens. He said that he can scan me in the clinic to make sure that nothing has changed to worry about and then let the dust settle. Until we are closer to the pregnant thing there is no reason to panic. I agree but still have this impulse to run for our second choice before things get even harder to break off. In the mean time the receptionist is going to check his schedule and get back to me.

1 comment:

Adriana said...

**update** I got a call this afternoon letting me know that they have an appt available Dec 5th. This is much better. So maybe Bret was right. I am going to hang and see what happens.