What it Really Means

Today is our 9 year wedding anniversary.  We did not have a lot planned.  We had a babysitter coming so that we could have a nice dinner and maybe a movie afterwards.  Bret managed to have this evening off from call so everything was set to go for a quiet celebration of nine years of marriage.

I had the kids fed and ready to go when the babysitter got there and I started to worry because it was 6:00 and Bret was not home from work yet.  He is always one to put things off until the last minute so I thought maybe he was stopping on his way home from work to pick up a card or maybe even flowers.  About that time he called from a hospital number.

"Honey I'm really sorry.  A patient is here miscarrying at 20 weeks and it's her second miscarriage in 6 months.  She and her husband are really taking it hard.  I am not sure what time I will be home.  Give me about 20 minutes to see how things are going and I will call you back."

20 minutes later he calls to tell me that he is sorry but he doesn't know what to do.  The patient could deliver in 5 minutes or 3 hours.  He was stuck at the hospital.

I could tell that he felt bad but at that very moment I didn't care.  I told him to forget it and I would send the babysitter home and that I would see him whenever he got home. Then I hung up and proceeded to throw myself a little pity party...tears and all.

I don't ask for a lot.  Just time with husband on our anniversary. 

So after a few more tears I put my big girl panties on and called Bret back.  I went and picked up Sonic and went and had dinner with him in the call room.  We hung out for a little while to see how things were proceeding.  When he thought we had a few hours we decided to go buy ourselves an anniversary present...a TV for our bedroom.

I have been begging for one in our room since I met Bret.  He has always been totally against them in the bedroom and for some crazy reason a few weeks ago he suggested it as our gift to each other.  In the few hours we had spend in the hospital a terrible storm came through and power was out in half the town.  We ran through the ran and made our purchases.  We then went and treated ourselves to a shared blizzard at the local DQ.  Then we went back to the hospital to wait.

I went home a little while later to let the babysitter go home.  Bret came home about an hour later and started working on hanging our TV up.  It was a pretty awful evening.  Bret's mind was with his patient and mine was just bummed.  We laughed about the circumstances and smiled at the nurses who knew what was going on and offered their apologies.  It's part of the job.  One that I know all to well.

We have not had the best track record when it comes to celebrating our anniversary.  We have been living in separate towns/states several times, Bret has worked a lot, we have never had money to do anything big or even to hire a babysitter, and usually other than a kiss and happy anniversary we don't do much.

None of that matters.  We love each other more today than ever.  There will be many more anniversaries and some will be amazing and others not so great.  Our wedding day was one of the best of our lives and we talk about how much fun we had.  We wouldn't change a thing and that is kind of the story of our marriage too.  We have so many blessings. 

The baby that was miscarried today had the same due date as the one I am carrying now.  Bret always hates when he feels like he is letting me or one of our kids down.  In truth I love him even more when I see how selfless he can be for his patients.  They have no idea what is going on his life only that they need him and he is there for them.  Even though he is not on call and even though it is his anniversary he is there for them, it makes me even more sure that he will always be there for us when we really need him.

1 comment:

Stephanie said...

I totally understand. My husband is often out of town on special dates (he's a long distance truck driver)and it can be so disappointing when plans don't work out like we want. However, your husband seems like he is an awesome doctor who really cares about his patients. That is amazing in this day and age when everybody seems to be "it's all about me". Hang in there! Congrats on 9 years!!