Gender

I remember when we were in the room for our first sonogram when I was pregnant with Emily.  I held my breath partly because I had drank so much water I thought I was going to pee myself and partly because I so desperately wanted a girl I wasn't what I would do if it was a boy.  It was a girl.

The second time around we both thought it was going to be a girl.  Bret is the last boy Heskett and it was/is important to him and his uncles to carry on the family name.  We thought for sure it was going to much harder for us to do so.  Bret was so elated when they told us that Palmer was a boy that all I could do was smile.  We were thrilled to have one of each.

With Logan we decided to wait to find out.  Just to be sure Bret didn't see something I took Emily with me to the sonogram instead.  Both Bret and I thought boy the whole pregnancy but then we would hesitate and think...it could be a girl.  It was fun not knowing.

My 19 weeks appointment is Friday.  I have been back and forth trying to decide whether or not I want to find out.  Emily and I would love to have one last girl.  Bret is convinced it is a boy but doesn't care one way or the other as to whether we find out now or wait.  The boys are completely oblivious.  If the baby is a girl I want to now (mostly so we can pick a name and I can buy girly things one last time) however it is a boy I would rather wait to find out.  I know..makes no sense and is not possible.  Since this is most likely our last I feel like we should make it special somehow.  The last issue I am having is that I always worry that something is wrong.  It would make me feel a whole lot better having Bret there to see for himself and for me....but that would mean he sees the gender.

As I write it all out I am leaning more towards finding out.  I guess we shall see...