3 months

Logan is 3 months old today. To say that the time has gone quickly is an understatement. Although I love so much about each of the stages my children go through the next few months are my favorite. To see the world through their eyes of wonderment and joy is so much fun. Who know that something so simple as finding your feet could be so much fun.

Logan is growing and getting stronger everyday. He is using his more and more often sometimes to his surprise as much as ours. He is not a chubby baby but he is solid and very very long. In every way possible he is doing great. Mommy sometimes wishes that he slept a little longer but it is a catch 22. He takes great naps during the day or spends time in the swing resting which is necessary so that I can get work done during these stretches. I have a feeling that this is part of why he isn't sleeping longer during the night. My goal is start keeping him more alert and awake in the evening. I have been using his early evening nap time to get dinner on the table. Now that Bret will be getting home at a more reasonable time this month hopefully we can manage to keep Logan up and happy for a few extra hours.

Next week we take Logan to visit the Shriner's hospital in Philadelphia to meet with an orthepedic surgeon. We were referred there by our pediatrician shortly after Logan was born. We waited to go until this month because we were gone to KS and Bret's schedule was not a good time to be gone. It feels like this appointment has been looming over our heads for a long time. One of the questions we get asked anytime someone sees Logan's hand is if there is anything that can be done about it. The truth is we have no idea. The pediatrician has indicated that sometimes they can do surgery to make fingers using the bones they found when they xrayed his hand. They have also indicated that sometimes they can make a prosthetic glove. They had no idea as to whether or not either of these will be options for Logan or if there might be another option that they don't know about. It felt very much like they preferred we waited and asked all questions when we got there.

I have a lot of anxiety about this appointment. I was shocked the other day when told me that he was stressed about the appointment also. In a way it made me feel better in another way it heightened my own stress. In the beginning Bret and I felt that worse case scenario we would go and they would tell us that there is nothing that could be done. We have already accepted that. In our eyes Logan is as God made him...which is perfect. We know that he will be great and have no problems adapting.

As the appointment gets closer we have started to think more about the other options. Surgery, prosthetics, rehab, etc, etc. Thankfully our children have always been healthy and we have had very little experience with this area. However, Palmer had to have very minor surgery on his eyes twice and both times it was quite the ordeal for us all. It's scary. Anesthesia, the hospital, recovery...all these things are hard to witness as parents. It is one of the biggest reminders of how much we miss Kansas and our family.

My heart sometimes whispers that Logan is fine and nothing is needed. My hope is that the doctors will help guide us as to what is right and needed for Logan (or not needed). God is always with us and it comforts me to know that he will help us know what to do as well. I will glad when it is over. Not knowing is the hardest part.

What I do know is that we have a happy healthy 3 month old that we love to pieces.