We are on the downhill slope towards Christmas and having this baby. I keep saying that over and over to myself. Only a few more gifts to buy/wrap, Bret is home this afternoon and tonight, and I have a full day off tomorrow to relax. I can do this.

Today is the kid's last day at school. Palmer has no idea but seems to be fine in his own little world. Emily is taking it surprisingly well. I'm not sure if she really understands but she seems to. Her focus is on the baby coming and staying home with mom. She also is excited about her grandparents coming, Palmer's birthday that is coming up, and our long trip back to KS. I too am hopeful that these things are "enough" and that the other few months after all of that is over will be fine as well.

As a parent I constantly question the choices and decisions that Bret and I make with regards to our kids. I "know" we are doing what is best but there is that tiny voice of doubt that shows it's ugly head every now and then. I was at a friends house last night and holding her 8 week old baby. I couldn't help think to myself that if I wasn't staying home this is how tiny my baby would be when I had to start handing him/her over to someone else to watch all day. Just thinking about it brings back how hard it was with both Emily and Palmer and it confirms that we are making the right choices.

I want nothing more than to have a great/best ever/memorable holiday for my kids and Bret this year. Tomorrow we are going to decorate cookies which is one of my kids' favorite activities, hang out in our PJ's for most of the day, and maybe watch a few movies. If all goes well we may even make a trip in to see Bret for dinner or something.

A friend made the comment "at least you are not riding a donkey for three days through the desert". It is a nice reminder that we all have our burdens to bare.