3.31.2009

You Know You're Back in KS When...

It was good to be home even under the circumstances. However, there were a couple of funny situations that made me think that these things only happen in KS. So without further ado here are the top ten ways you know you are back in KS.

10. When someone says "look a rooster" you know they are not talking about a chicken.

9. For three hours you drive through one of the worst snow storms of your life and then at a certain point in the highway it's sunny, clear, and doesn't have a flake of snow in site for miles.

8. You go to a dinner after the funeral and by looking at the dishes (because of course it is a pot luck) you know a) who brought it b) which is the best choice and c) you have every recipe of every side dish and dessert brought and they are all in the same church cookbook.

7. The casino is five minutes from your mom's house (Indian reservations are grand).

6. In some parts of KS you have to let your car warm up for 10 minutes before you can even begin to get the ice off and at the exact same moment in other parts of KS you don't have to wear a coat it's so nice outside and the very next day it is the exact opposite weather on the exact opposite sides of the state.

5. People look at you like you are speaking a foreign language when you say words like rutch over, stop by a MAC for cash, Schuylkill, quarter of five, and soda.

4. When you say that the apple pie is good but not as good as an apple dumpling they have no idea what that is but are sure that they want one.

3. Windmills line the interstate and moving like crazy because it BLOWS like crazy in KS and there is NO trees anywhere.

2. You can see for 20 miles in any direction from the interstate because there are NO trees and it is breath taking.

1. You hit your brakes when you see a cop set up with a radar and you freak because you are totally speeding and then your realize you are going 77 miles per hour. After a brief moment of panic you laugh because you are not speeding in KS because the speed limit in KS is usually 75.

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