Totally Awkward Tuesday's

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Emily is almost five years old and I have been in some of the most awkward moments of my life due to her less than shy and extremely outgoing personality. I had a hard time trying to figure out which one to write about and most of them were pretty simple. At first glance you think "oh that's just cute" but when you are the mom you can feel the judgement pass on you from everyone involved. Even if it's a simple "kids will be kids but that mom should teach her better" mentality it still causes my easily flushed face to turn crimson. So here are couple of the fun moments that Emily has made me bite my tongue, hold back a laugh, walk the thin line of scolding in public and making it a teaching moment, make light of a situation so as not to hurt anyone's feelings, and some times just turn and run dragging her tail behind us.

We used to go to a library reading program and Emily decided to take her baby doll with her. I wasn't paying attention (I had Palmer with me too) until another mom asked Emily why she had her baby under her shirt. "She was hungry", Emily replied.

At the grocery store Emily went up to a shelf stocker and asked her what was in her nose. The goth dressed girl replied "It's an earring only in my nose". To that Emily said "WHY would you do that!?!" Talk about holding back laughter.

Emily once asked Bret's chief resident "When are you going to have that baby? It has been in your tummy a long long time". (She was never pregnant)

I can only guess what all the teachers at her school has heard about but I do know that one morning I was trying to get Emily to pay attention and hold her head still why I was fixing her hair and as I was dropping her off at school she told the teacher that I pulled her hair that morning because she wasn't listening. I got a look and I wasn't sure if it was "I understand" or "How could you".

We went to dinner one night with some new friends. NF asked Emily what does your daddy do? Emily replied "He works at the hospital and delivers babies. But he doesn't take care of the babies he takes care of the mommies." Other NF asked what does your mommy do? Emily had to think long and hard about this and her reply was "she does the dishes". No one really knew whether to laugh or say something to contract this child's view of the world. Bret felt really bad about this (I was staying home at the time) while I thought it was pretty funny. Needless to say that the next time I asked her hoping to get a laugh from our friends and she had been taught that mommy takes care of all of us. She reads stories, plays with us, and helps daddy a lot. What a good husband.

By far the most awkward moment my dear daughter has put me in was while I was pregnant with Palmer. This may be a TMI moment so please feel free to stop reading now. Emily and I went to the mall for the afternoon and ate at a fast food place in the food court. One of the lovely side affects of pregnancy was that I sometimes had to make a mad dash to the bathroom after a greasy meal. Since Emily and I were alone she had to come with me into the stall. I was not at all prepared for the commentary that she would then offer. "Oh YUCK mom", "whew", and on and on and in a very non-hushed tone too. I was HORRIFIED! I am sure that every woman in that restroom heard but I wasn't going to step out and find out. We sat in that stall with my hand over her mouth until I was sure that everyone was out of the bathroom. All though I was extremely embarrassed I also thought about the responses we gave when we changed her dirty diaper or (since we had started potty training not long before this) when she went in the big girl chair at home. We, like most parents, made it funny to make a big deal out of a stinky. Boy did that backfire.

So there you have it some of the joyous moments that a curious, friendly, and innocent little girl can put a poor mom through.