Totally Awkward Tuesdays- Tale of Amazon Woman and Cheating Jackass

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Funny thing about my college friends and I is that we make up nick names for people and rarely refer to them by anything else.


I worked in the financial aid office as a student worker my entire undergrad year. Here I met the fabulous Tracey and some of her close girlfriends. These girls were a blast to hang out with/go to the bars with because they were 1) hot thus free drinks 2) loved to dance and 3) where way wilder than I ever was and therefore so much fun to party with. One of the friends Tracey introduced me to was nick named Floyd (not as original as you would think b/c that is her last name but hey go with it). Floyd had a much hated ex-boyfriend that apparently cheated on her and they lovingly referred to him as Cheating Jackass. Apparently Cheating Jackass was a guy that wooed her and left her for another girl that they all equally hated. I think secretly she was just heartbroken and really would have taken him back given the opportunity.


About the same time my roommate had a guy friend, Crow that hung around the apartment all the time. He had recently gone through a break up with a crazy nympho who was totally obsessive and crazily jealous. She was also SUPER tall so we called her Amazon Woman. Because this is a family site I will not go into some of the OUTRAGEOUS stories that he told about and the things that she wanted them to do. I will say GROSS.


Anyhoo we (the girls and I) were all out at the bars one night and were having a very good time. At our last stop of the evening Floyd came over and was totally stressed because Cheating Jackass just walking in with one of his super flake girls. At that moment I turned to get a good look at Cheating Jackass to give him a super dirty look for being such a given jerk. When looking in the pointed direction I saw Crow and my roommate walking into the bar. Yep Amazon woman is Floyd and Cheating Jackass is Crow. The funny thing is that in all of my drunken stupor I couldn't really put into words the rushing amount of thoughts going through my head. All of the disgusting freaky stories kept flying through my head and I realized that I knew WAY to much about both of these two people for my own good. So like a person with turrets syndrome I could only say OMG Amazon woman is Floyd and Cheating Jackass is Crow which meant absolutely nothing to anyone because no one but me hung out with both groups of people and knew what nicknames I was referring to. At about this time I decided that I needed to go home pronto. I am pretty sure this is exactly what compartmentalizing is for as I stopped hanging with Floyd and Crow was no longer my favorite guy either.