Just a Reminder

Bret and I have been together for 10 years. To some people that seems like a long time while to others that is just a blink in time. Depending on the day it feels like a lifetime or a blink of the eye to us as well. Sometimes I get so caught up in our daily lives that I don't have time to think about anything other than the fact that Emily has basketball practice tonight, Palmer has a cold that we need to watch, I need to get laundry done tonight so I can start packing this week, and on and on. These daily things on top of worrying about money (with Disney over, a trip to KS coming up, a ton of birthdays, and Christmas around the corner), working full time, and crazy long term uncertainties (when we are going to have another baby, is Bret going to do a fellowship and what will that mean for our family, where are we going to live in 3 years, etc), and with the impending divorce of my parents after 30 years of marriage, it is needless to say I have had a lot on my mind especially with a short trip to KS coming soon.

So this weekend when the kids were taking a nap and my post-call husband was trying to "get my attention" my mind was on another planet. He then asked the infamous question "what's wrong". Much to his dismay I proceeded to vomit my unrelenting mind wandering thoughts all over him (while of course doing the ugly cry). I am not one to bottle up my concerns in fact much the opposite could be said about me. I tend to wear my feelings on my sleeves but too much had been going on lately and I have had very little time to feel my stress let alone bug Bret about it. I think he was a little surprised and thought that maybe I just had a headache. So much to my surprise Bret listened, sympathised (surprising I know), and talked about all of my worries (crazy and otherwise). It's not that Bret doesn't care because he does, it's just that he has always wanted to fix things. If there is a problem let's fix it. Even though we have talked about how listening can be just as important it was like he had his lightbulb moment and understood that I wanted to be heard, held, and listened to. It is almost like once we talked about everything my mind got quite and things could go back to normal immediately. I still don't know where we are going to live in 3 years but Bret knows that I am concerned about the uncertainty and I know that it is hard for him to. That is enough for now.

Marriage is such a funny thing. Bret and I don't always like each other but we will always love each other and will try to find ways to continue liking each other. This talk was just a reminder as to why I really do love my husband.