When Bret was in medical school we had been invited to dinner with one of the doctors that he worked with and his wife. We already had Emily by this point and knew that we were going to have another.
It was at this dinner that the doctor and his wife gave Bret and I some very good advice that we took to heart. This was the first time anyone had told us that marriage in the medical field was tough and not for the faint of heart. He also said that to survive you can't sweat the small stuff...it's not worth it.
Bret is much better about not sweating the small things and tries really hard to help me see that a lot of the things that I stress and worry about are really pretty small in the grand scheme of things.
Case in point.
My biggest complaint to Bret is almost always that he doesn't help out enough at home. When he does it is because I ask him (more likely nag him). His solutions sometimes drive me nuts. If I am too tired to fix dinner rather than offering to fix it he offers to pick something up, order pizza, or we could go out for dinner.
On the other hand I think he did come up with a new solution that I am falling in love with.
One of the other resident's wives who lives in the apartment complex with us babysits for me. We love her. Palmer is in love with her. She has been watching the kids as needed for me since Logan was born. With Emily in all day kindergarten and Palmer in preschool two mornings a week the need for me to have a babysitter has dropped quite a bit. Logan and I pop into the office to pick up and drop off mail on Tuesdays when Palmer is in school. I have the babysitter on Wednesday's so I can go to meetings and on Thursdays Logan and I run any errands that can't wait until the weekend.
So here is where I admit that Bret is a genius this one time. After our last "blah blah blah you don't help" session Bret said...why don't you ask Claudia if she would be interested in helping to clean the apartment when she is watching the boys and we will pay her extra. I mentioned it to her and she quickly agreed. We worked out a price and whala.
She watches the boys on Wednesday and during the last hour while they are napping she picks up/cleans the house. PERFECT.
I can't begin to tell you how much I love coming home to a clean house. The joy of having the house vacuumed or the kitchen floor swept. It is worth every single penny and then some. For me and Bret.
Bret has also been helping more with dinner dishes or bath duty with kids (he takes one or the other instead of heading in to watch TV).
The doctor was right though. You have to figure out what the small things really are. The fact that I was not able to keep up with everything and Bret didn't have the time/energy to help as much as I wanted him to is really actually a small thing in life. The solution may cost money which we don't have a lot of extra right now but it was worth it to everyone involved.