When Bret and I got married I never thought twice about taking his name. Partly cause I'm old fashioned that way and partly b/c his name and mine both started with H and it sounded awful hyphenated. As the years have gone by I have slowly started to realize I took on something else...a new role. His wife. To a lot of people I am simply known as "Bret's wife" or "Dr. Heskett's wife" or even "Mrs. Heskett".
Now that Emily and Palmer are getting older I am finding more and more often that I am identified and recognized by the fact that I am their mom. Children, parents, and even teachers identify me as "Emily's mom" or "Palmer's mom". Complete strangers come up to me because their child is in one of my kid's class at school or they had soccer with Emily or took swim lessons with Palmer.
These roles that I play are part of who I am. I identify myself as a wife and mom. The secretaries and nurses know me as the person who gets things done in Bret's life. The people at the kids' school know me as an active member of the PTA and the kids' classrooms.
It's not just people outside of our family but my family itself. Bret sees me as his wife and the mother of his children. To my kids I am mommy. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't change this for the world. I love being a mom and I love being Bret's life partner. I am a better person because of them and who they have made me become.
Somewhere deep inside is still Adriana. Not the wife or mom but Adriana. The woman who cries at movies, loves to read, gets wrapped up into TV shows, can spend an entire day baking or shopping, who could eat a hamburger and french fries everyday and not get tired of it, loves to write, who is overly sensitive and dramatic, who has a perfect driving record, loves to travel, who used to go to the bars with girlfriends at least once a week in college, who won a tequila shot contest (22 shots), who went to Beastie Boy concerts, and is passionate about living life.
Some of these things have changed and some have not but either way they too are a part of who I am. This person that is separate from her husband and children often times gets forgotten. There is one day where I refuse to let this happen. My birthday.
Next week I turn 29. 29. YIKES!! I don't think 29 is old. It does, however, make me realize I'm getting older. I remember hearing people say that their kids keep them young. In way I would agree. Bret and I got married young and started our family young. At 29 I am expecting our third child. My oldest will graduate from high school when I am 45...not to bad.
So this year for my birthday Bret is taking me to a fun restaurant down by Philly with a few friends. The restaurant, The Melting Pot, is a fondue restaurant which I love (and Bret is not that crazy about). We are getting a babysitter and going to enjoy the evening with adults. A tiny part of me feels bad about spending my birthday away from my kids or at a place that Bret isn't crazy about and then I remind myself that "hello, it's my birthday".
Birthdays are the one day that you can celebrate yourself. Who you are, what you have accomplished, and what you want to accomplish. For most mom's it the one day out of their (besides Mother's day) where you can put a little more focus on yourself than the rest of your family. I am very blessed to have a husband and children who understand and celebrate that with me.