Totally Awkward Tuesdays- Beginning of the Pee Trilogy

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My first year of college I lived in an apartment with three girls. We all smoked, drank a lot of beer, dated a lot of guys, played a lot of Pitch, and had a lot of parties.

During one particular party my sister and her friend had come to visit and were staying in my room and I was on the couch for the night after everyone had left and most people had passed out. It was a long night of drinking and the memories are a little bit cloudy but I think my other roommate was on the couch also (although why that is beats the hell out of me). Anyhoo during the wee hours of the morning I was awoken by a guy stumbling out into the living room who was obviously still really drunk. Not sure what exactly he was doing I tried to go back to sleep. It took me a moment in my still feeling drunk/hung over haziness for me to realize that he was standing in the middle of the living room and was undoing his pants. The next thing I know he is pissing on our living room floor. I am yelling by this point but the guy is totally confused and has no idea where he is. The dude then preceded to leave and we had no idea who he was.

UNTIL a couple of nights later when some friends showed up and other roommate and I totally recognized him. Believe me after cleaning up someone else's piss you never forget a face. My roommate called him out in front of all his friends.

Roommate: "dude, you're the guy who totally pissed on our floor the other night"

Dude: "Hehe, yeah I was pretty drunk"

Roommate: "No seriously dude you pissed all over our floor and then left. I had to clean up your piss"

Dude: "Hehe (nervous and uncomfortable as we all sat and stared not sure what to say) yeah, sorry about that"

Roommate: "Sorry man but you have got to go"

Dude: "Huh?"

Roommate: "You need to leave, you are not welcome here"

Dude: Awkward pause to see if she was serious

Roommate: "OUT"

So he left and the really awkward moment came when the rest of the group had to decide who was going to leave with him and who was going to stay. Most stayed because we were cool like that.

Sadly to say that is only one of three unforgettably awkward moments I had in college involving someone else peeing where they were totally not supposed to because they were drunk. This was the least funny of the three so stay tuned to next week for the second part of the Pee Trilogy.


Tova Darling said...

That is so gross! Good for you guys for kicking him out, seriously!

Snarky A. said...

Oh man, that is so nasty. I'll be tuning in for the next installment though, for sure.