THANKFUL AND THANKLESS

For my wife and her faithful followers:

The list of things to be thankful for should grow every year. As you know my mind is analytical and simple math answers everything, therefore the more you “have” the more you should be thankful for. We seem to acquire more things every year. Whether it is material items like books, new gadgets, kitchen items, coats, clothes or movies; or people like new friends, old friends becoming closer friends, new family members or new babies. When we add these new things onto last year’s thankful list, we really can start to celebrate Thanksgiving.

Our kids are really starting to get it for the first time this year which is really exciting. Emily was mortified to find out some children don’t eat special food for holidays and may not get presents for Christmas because their families don’t have enough money, and she was thrilled to help out in her own way. Palmer will start to get it soon I’m sure with a teacher like Emily. This holiday season will be the best ever because of our children’s ages. (And the fact that Adriana is not very, very pregnant like she was in 2006 and 2009)

Thanksgiving at our house is always something extra special because it is Adriana’s birthday. Well, not just her birthDAY, but apparently her birthday WEEK. And we’re not just talking about a business week starting on Monday, but starting November 18. Adriana uses this week to her advantage, with honey-do’s and pampering to the tune of “But it’s my birthday week.”

Now listen, I’m not about to say she doesn’t deserve all she does during that week on a more regular basis. Don’t take this as a complaint on my part, I had just never heard of such a thing as a birthday week before I met Adriana. In fact, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I feel that this is probably the best way to show her how much I appreciate her all year long but don’t show it the rest of the year. If you haven’t learned by now, Adriana is overworked, underpaid and underappreciated year round, and her birthday week is really the way the rest of the year should be. Time together for Thanksgiving at our house has been hard the last 3 years, due to my schedule: 2007 I worked 14 hour days Wednesday, Friday and a 24 hour shift Saturday, 2008 was working 14 hour nights Sunday through Thursday nights, and 2009 I worked 14 hour days M-F of Thanksgiving week including Thursday.

So hopefully this year at a time of Thanksgiving, while performing the thankless tasks of CEO, CFO and president of Heskett, Inc., Adriana can bask in the affections of her family and realize that actions speak louder than words. And hopefully some of her “wishlist” items for her birthday will suffice as a humble “Thank You” for all she does for us all year long. However, just in case those things don’t quite do it, let me go on record: Thank you for everything, there is no way I could do it without you, and I love you!

Love Always,

Bret, Emily, Palmer and Logan

I'm A Mom

I know that I have used this blog to both praise my children and just as often bitch about them as well.

When Emily first came into this world I had no idea what to expect. I was 23 years old and had been married just a year. I know for a lot of moms there is no magical maternal instincts that kick in the moment you first see your child. I would agree. I knew that I was exhausted and that the baby being passed around was mine and something that I wanted to make sure was OK. The next few days were a blur as I tried to figure out how to keep her from crying. Emily will be five this July.

When Palmer came into the world I was overwhelmed with relief that he was OK. Palmer's heartbeat had dropped suddenly and we were rushed into an operating room for a crash c-section after 14 hours of labor. Exhausted and terrified that something was wrong when I heard his cry for the first time I immediately burst into tears in relief that he was OK. Palmer was such a good baby (so different from my colicky Emily) which was a relief because shortly after he was born we began our journey here to PA.

Over the past several years I learned that one thing that is consistent with all mothers is the unprecedented ability to worry. Are they eating enough, are they growing, do they feel safe, are they making friends, does Emily know her letters well enough, do they feel loved, are they spoiled, is that freckle on Emily's neck just a freckle, will Palmer's immunizations give Palmer autism, and on and on.

In addition to worry a mother is plagued with guilt. Do they resent me because I work and leave them at daycare all day, do I yell at them too much, should I spank them when they are bad, am I teaching them good manners, should I be spending more time reading to them and less time watching TV, how many times is OK to eat McDonald's in a month?

I don't have the answers. It never feels like I have the answers (except when talking to a less experienced mom then of course I have all kinds of unsolicited advice...j/k). At the end of the day a mom can only do her best and hope that that is enough. Loving my children has been the easiest thing to do. Raising them has been the hardest. I make mistakes and my children know that I am not perfect. I apologize sometimes and sometimes I admit that I was wrong. If when I die someday my children can say that I loved them and that I did my best then that is enough for me. I am honored to be their mom and I thank GOD every day for they (and Bret) are my greatest blessings.