The Rumor Mill

This weekend I took the kids and waited in a ridiculously long line to get my PA drivers license. Yes, I have lived her for almost two years and still had my KS drivers license. I also know that this is totally totally wrong but here in PA you have to have a ton of documentation to get it and it took me a while to get everything gathered together. (You know your not in KS anymore when you need your current drivers license, birth certificate, social security card, marriage certificate, two proofs of address, and current insurance card to get a drivers license...in KS you only need your current drivers license and proof of address).




So as the children and I (yes I had to take them b/c Bret was working) were standing in this incredible line I saw a familiar face.

Ok first off I know I couldn't believe it either when I took out my blackberry and pretended to check my email and kind of hid it behind Emily's head who was standing in front of me on the stroller and second off I thought about zooming in for a second shot but even I have a little smidge of decency left.

I happen to live in the same town as the Gosselin family. In fact the new $1.4 million dollar home they moved into recently? It was sold to TLC from my OB/GYN and I have been in it before they moved into it. Kate actually used to work as a labor and delivery nurse at the same hospital that Bret works in. That said it is kind of sad to say that people around here don't like her at all for the most part. Something about the other side of the story that know one really knows. The "people" that she talks about as wanting to "reduce" the number of implants are actually really good doctors that I personally know and that is not exactly how they remember the conversations going either. Something about taking medication in ways she was advised not to and so on. I don't know the whole story and have heard only bits and pieces of it all. I have heard some really sad stories about the efforts that people she worked with had put forth when they were asking for help and being turned down because things weren't new or matching (sound familiar...her dad's church maybe?).

The most recent has been about Jon and his less than upstanding outings while at some of the local bars. The truth is I don't know the whole story. I have heard (from some of the nurses) everything from they are getting a divorce and he has been messing around to he went out and just had a couple of drinks and posed for some pictures. Either way I feel sorry for them all. Marriage and raising kids is hard work. I cringe at the thought of letting a national TV audience into that private circle no matter how much they pay me. I know that I can be super bitchy and I have my days and to the outside world that could perceived in a thousand different ways. At the end of the day they are parents to some really great kids and for THEIR sake I hope that they find away to fight for their marriage. I worry about their ability to sustain their current life style. What happens when the kids decide they want their life back and that they are done having no privacy what so ever?

I am always interested to see what other people think. I know that before I moved here my perspective was totally different. If you are interested in learning more about "the other side" of the story check out Gosslins Without Pity. They do a good job of focusing their concern on the well being of the kids while dispelling the idea that they are something more than what they really are. I also applaud them for staying out of the rumor mill when it comes to Jon's fidelity.

Preschool Birthday Politics

We had drama at preschool yesterday. A little girl in Emily's class had handed out invitations in cubby holes at school. The drama came when some of the little girls realized that not everyone was invited. Emily was one of the girls that didn't get invited. Surprisingly the school does not have a policy on this issue. In my experience most schools have a policy that it is all or nothing with bringing invitations to school.

I understand the need/want to not invite 17 four years olds to a birthday party. We neither have the money or the space to do so (but we probably will anyways with a July bday we can have it outside but that is beside the point). However we (the mighty PTA) created a contact sheet for the entire school for situations like this. If you do only want to invite close friends you should mail the invitation to the home and speak to the parents invited directly to make sure that they too are aware of limited number of invitations.

It really is sad. Emily searched HIGH and low for this invitation that she was sure would be in her box SOMEWHERE. I too thought of course no mom would only bring invitations to a select few so I asked the teacher and her response was "yes, unfortunately that has been happening a lot more lately". UGH.

This is not the first time this has happened to Emily. Last year Emily had a very close friend at her school. Her mom was very reserved and quiet and not very "hey, how ya doin?" sort of person. Emily came home for a week telling me about this little girls princess birthday party that was coming up and I had no idea what she was talking about. We never got an invitation but Emily had so many details about what was going to happen that even I started to wonder if maybe an invite got lost. So I called another mommy from the class that is a good friend and asked her if her daughter got invited (I know this is a lot of running around for a silly birthday but you have to understand that a birthday party is almost as good as going to Disney to a 4 year old little girl...this is serious people). This mommy said that yes her daughter got invited but that she knew that only one other little boy from the class was invited and that was because the mom's were all old friends. While this made me feel a little better (it wasn't that most of the girls got invited and Em didn't) I still wasn't sure how to explain the situation to Emily.

I don't like to explain to my child the unfairness of life at such a young age. I teach her that everyone is her friend and that it is not nice to exclude people. I am not sure if I would even let her choose one friend at this age because I don't want her to think that hurting other people's feelings is not nice either. I learned this direct. When I was 3rd grade I wanted to have a sleep over for a bunch of girls. I went to a pretty small school and I wanted to invite all of the girls except one. (I think there were 9 girls in my class). The girl I didn't want to invite was very poor and worse yet she smelled. My mom was adamant that everyone or no one was to be invited. The only compromise my mom gave me was I could have one girl over instead. I really wanted a real slumber party (and one friend was not going to cut it) so I invited everyone and hoped for all that was holy that the one girl couldn't come.

Much to my dismay she came. I. WAS. HORRIFIED. Third grade is a rough year and I just knew that this was going to ruin me. Long story short I realized that the girl was nice and SUPER quiet/shy. I felt sorry for her and so did a couple of the other girls. Don't get me wrong in no way did she become my BFF and I am sure that this was not a life changing event for her but it made me a better person and taught me that as a mom it is our job to teach our kids to be considerate. As I step down from my soapbox I digress.

Luckily I am an active member of the school's mighty PTA and you better believe that this will be a subject we talk about. We have new students to add to the contact roster and there will be a note addressing the new invitation policy. Who knew that it would start this soon? Sometime I will tell you about a little girl that brought another little girl in the class to tears talking about how fat she was. I am not sure that Emily even knows what fat means.

Don't forget to vote for your birthday party theme. One of the activities planned for the dinosaur party would be to decorate papermache eggs (that are stuffed with their goodie bag stuff) and for the train party they will get to decorate a train shaped cupcakes with frosting and candy and things.

Also in light of my birthday post a fellow PA blogger is celebrating his birthday today and his only wish (probably not his only but...) is for some crazy traffic on his blog. So stop by Dr. Zibb's blog That Blue Yak and wish him a happy birthday from the fans of From KS to PA (all two of you :).

Totally invented by a man

Friday night was Bret's holiday party for the department. Originally we were not going to be able to go b/c he was scheduled to work. Then on Wednesday he called me on my way home from work to let me know that one of the other residents had something planned that fell through and didn't want to go to the party so she switched with Bret...aka we can go now. Bret was really excited and I was too busy trying to think of all the things that I needed to do. I needed to figure out something to wear, find a babysitter, get my haircut, etc.

I stopped by the Penney's outlet on my lunch hour the next day and found the cutest little black dress and it was marked down from $120 to $29.99..perfect. I also picked up a spanx which I had heard great things about. Found a babysitter and got ready with no issues. The spanx really does work wonders. For those (like me before) who have no idea what a spanx is it is a bodysuit that helps to smooth over not so pretty fat and helps as a strapless bra b/c you have much more support (very important for us busty girls to make sure our girls look ok in a strapless dress).

The party was fun (open bar, good food, and good music). The residents every year put together the entertainment for the night which usually consists of some sort of spoof or roast of the attendings. This year they created a video teasing the residents for their typical wardrobe quirks. The idea was a fashion show to show the med students what was/wasn't appropriate. The residents dressed up as the attendings and made masks with the attending's faces on them. It was a hilarious and it wasn't mean. Some classes in the past have caused hurt feelings but this year even the attendings were wiping tears from laughing so hard. Overall it turned out great.

About halfway through the night after several yummy drinks I made my way to the ladies room. I got into the bathroom and as panic started to creep up I suddenly realized that I was stuck. Literally. The spanx that I had worn under my dress for the evening had no zipper or snaps. It was one piece that had to be slipped on from the bottom. With the dress over it I was going to need to unzip my dress and I couldn't quite reach the hook at the top. I don't know how long it really took me but it felt like forever (at least a good ten minutes) to figure a way to get out of the dress and spanx so that I could pee (which was urgent by this point). The drinks definitely didn't help and neither did the hard to zip/unzip dress but when I finally found my way out of the bathroom my husband was looking for me with a concerned look on his face. You know it had taken a long time b/c hubs never comes looking for me. When I gave him a brief explanation as to what the hold up was he laughed and said next time he would help..I did not appreciate his jovial attitude.

I decided that only a man would design an article of clothing without really coming up with an easy way to pee. Who doesn't know that a woman (especially on a night out where there will be drinks) will need to go to the bathroom during the course of the evening and that getting completely naked to do so is not exactly convenient. Ugh...I should have just worn slacks.

To be or not to be loyal

Another really fun part of (hear the sarcasm in my voice) being married to an OB/GYN is that he has a very strong opinion of who I should go to for my own womanly appointments. No I am not pregnant. So about a year ago as my impending yearly appointment came due we had the all important conversation about who I should go see.

This decision is more complicated than for most people because there are work politics involved. I can't just go to a doctor and if I don't like him/her decide to go to someone else. That would create hard feelings on a personal level and just make work weird. Even though everyone says that they respect people's decisions we all know the truth about that posh. It is also a very important decision because although we are not yet pregnant or even trying we both know that a child will be born before we leave this town so the GYN will also serve as an OB during later times.

It is always and easy decision for me to say who I would not go to. I think it is funny because every resident I meet I can tell you within the first few moments if I could see myself listening to them as they talk me through the scary, painful, exciting labors of birth. Think about it...who of your friends would you let deliver you...exactly. I prefer OB/GYN's that are older males. There is something about their calm reassuring voice that makes me feel safe and helps me relax. I also have to have a doctor that balance me and husband's needs well.

This means that the doctor has to be able to talk to me as the patient at a level that does not make me feel talked down to. He also has to be able to respect that I have the final say and that sometimes Bret and I disagree. However, I respect Bret and trust him most so the doctor has to be able to understand that too. When Palmer was delivered things got very scary and extremely tense. Things were not going well and everyone knew it. The doctor managed to keep me calm and focused and most importantly informed about what was going on. He also managed to consult with Bret who knew all too well what risks we were facing, what could go wrong in a matter of seconds, and who had strong opinions about my and the baby's care. Our doctor did a fantastic job and I was sad to leave him. I digress.

So that said Bret and I made a decision about who I would go see that we could both live with and were really happy about. But then a week ago I got a letter from this doctor and found out that there were a lot of changes happening. Most of you know that the majority of practices share call. This means that when you deliver (especially at night or on weekends or vacations) whoever is the doctor from the practice on call will be the one to deliver you. One of the reasons we chose the doctor we did was b/c we also like his partners. Both of his partners are leaving the practice to join a few other doctors leaving their practice to form an all women's practice here in Berks county. Good for them I think it is a great idea and good fit.

I, however, have to wonder how this will affect my doctor. At the annual appointment however, we found a cyst that was not dangerous or malignant but "of concern". I have been going back ever couple of months to monitor it still. I got a call this week that my check up scheduled for Monday needed to be rescheduled. When I called to schedule this I found out the next available appointment isn't until the end of January. I am not really stressed about putting up this check up. I am sure that he is just going to say "yep, it is still there" and either it has stayed the same, gotten smaller, or gotten bigger. The thing about a cyst is that you either surgically remove them (yikes) or leave them alone. It doesn't bother me so as long as it isn't cancerous then we are going to leave it alone. Let me point out that if I called and said I have been having pain, have been bleeding, or any other issues he would find a way to see me today.

The point is that I am concerned about the changes and what this will mean. I am sure that he is going to hire new partners (scary) and that for a while at least things will be really crazy and hectic in his practice. Part of me wants to jump off this sinking ship but the other part knows that it is not that simple. I don't want to cause hard feelings for Bret and when things like this happens a lot of lines in the sand are drawn. Bret feels like we should just wait and see what happens. He said that he can scan me in the clinic to make sure that nothing has changed to worry about and then let the dust settle. Until we are closer to the pregnant thing there is no reason to panic. I agree but still have this impulse to run for our second choice before things get even harder to break off. In the mean time the receptionist is going to check his schedule and get back to me.

Tears and Cheers

I love watching Grey's Anatomy. I know first hand how far fetched this funny drama is from the realities of resident life (at least I hope my husband is not sleeping with other residents...hmmm...three of them are pregnant now...two just had babies...wait!). I still love the show and I think it is because of the quirks of each of the residents and underneath all of the love triangle drama there are somethings that are very much our reality. Residents give their lives over to their work. They work extremely long hours and a lot of times it is a great emotional rollercoaster. They have to figure out a way to walk away from a delivery that went terribly wrong into the next room moments later and hope for the best possible outcome. We are thankful that they can do this and that they are not just patients to them. They are real people and while having a baby can be the most exciting and wonderful moment it can also be the most scary and sometimes heartbreaking too. So I digress.

Bailey has a rough character to play and I think this is because her life is most revealing to the realities of resident life. When you give everything you have for twelve to thirty-six hours straight how to find more to give to your spouse and kids waiting at home. Some days there is nothing left and yet you have to find a way. I know that I have placed some very crazy expectations on Bret (attend all school functions, take sick days sometimes to stay home with the kids, we take dinner in and eat in the lounge when he is working weekends and nights, when he is home he has to help around the house and take extra one on one time with the kids). We have struggled but are finally starting to find our way through this maze.

So last night as I was watching Grey's I was immediately filled with tears as I watched the older married couple (sorry if you have it DVR'd and haven't watched it yet) and their story unfold. It was refreshing to see a happily married couple on the show and for my favorite character to see this view into what it can be like. I hope that she keeps fighting and not let go so easy of something that can be so great. It's funny how perspective can change everything in just a glance.

So tell me do you have a favorite Grey's character? I think McSteamy is by far hotter than McDreamy but I still wish that George was not batting for the other team. Leave a comment and tell me your favorite Grey's character or moment.